Has anyone moved nearly across the US?

Question

Last year I moved from a small town to a larger town in OH. I have a 9yr old. I am now thinking about transferring w/my job from OH to CA. I may have to move in the middle of the school year. Once there I would be staying w/a friend and then moving to my own place. My daughter might have to change schools. I am worried about the daughter going to all these different schools. Any suggestions or words of advise?

Answer 1

It's amazing how many people do this to their kids and excuse it by saying what a good experience it will be, and how kids are so resilient, etc. The problem is, those people didn't have that experience as kids.

I went to 11 schools in 12 years. I changed schools in the middle of the year three times, one year I attended three different schools. I had an outgoing personality and I made friends quickly so I wouldn't be alone, though I never got close to anyone because I knew I'd just have to leave them again. But I suppose I did okay.

My siblings didn't. While I compensated by turning into a social butterfly, my brothers and sister became introverted, had a hard time making friends, and struggled as young adults.

Are there times when you should move, when the fallout in your kid's life will be outweighed by the good that comes from the move? Yes. If you are living in a bad area and have the chance to move to a safer place with better schools, of course you do that. If your financial situation is going to DRASTICALLY improve, then yes, you do that too. Otherwise, stay put. A solid home provides a sense of security to a kid they can't get otherwise.

Answer 2

A year and a half ago I moved from mid-Ohio to North Carolina in the middle of her school year (for a new job). I love it and it did turn out to be such a positive thing for us. My daughter was 12 and she was angry about it for about 7 months. A year later she was well adjusted and very pleased with the move. Sometimes I'll hear my daughter tell someone "I've gone to 11 schools..." and talk about the year of the move in this way "That's the year I went to 3 schools". That kinda upset me but I think it was very good for her. She learned that she would be okay in the face of change, that people are loveable and likeable everywhere. She still talks to her friends and family in Ohio. One of the things that was so cute is that once we moved here - she would point out all the stores that they had here that were the same back home - like oh they have McD's or KFC or Foreve 21 - that kind of thing. It gave her bearings. We spent alot of time playing tourists and getting out and about in the city. Also I really let her help me "choose" where we were going to live - the house - her room. We were in corporate housing for a while and I rushed to get into a house - for her - and it made a big difference. Having her own things and a neat new room and lots of activities that she could have new friends come do with us really helped.

many blessings!!!

Answer 3

My sister was a military wife for 13 years, 8 of those as a mother. In the time between the birth and the divorce, she moved from San Diego CA, to Bremerton WA, to Corpus Christi TX, to Jacksonville FL. Each of the moves usually happened in the middle of the kid's school year, so he was uprooted and moved to a new location, new school, etc, etc. He did fine.

What kids need more than anything is to be told what's going on and what to expect. Answer their questions to the best of your ability and if they're pissed off about leaving their friends or whatever, let them vent (do NOT let them abuse you however). Express your understanding but buffet it with things like telling them that for everyone, this is the best thing - a new job and new opportunities to meet new people, etc.
It's never easy - on kids or adults - but just remember: "the Unknown is the worst enemy of all."

If you share what you know with your kid, things will be ok. Go with her on her first day of school - even ask to walk her to her new class and be there at the end of the day to pick her up. Don't make her feel like she's just being dumped off. THAT is the best thing you can do as a parent to help the transition - she will interpret this as you "BEING" there. Get it?
In short: Information - the more the better and BE there for her. That's it!

Answer 4

Children are resilient, especially at that age. Mine are 6 and 8. A few years ago, my daughter was in 3 different schools, in 3 different states all in the span of a year. The schools are sensitive to this and help with the child's adjustments. Explain to your daughter that this is a good career opportunity for you, and California, wow, what kid wouldn't want to live there? It is lovely there, people are friendly and I am sure she will be fine.

Answer 5

When I graduated at 17 I had attended 17 different schools, I always envied people who didn’t do so much moving. Personally I hated changing schools making new friends and in the long run I feel that had a lot to do with the fact that don’t have any friends now.

Answer 6

yse I moved from chicago to an area by houston about 1-1/2 hours away---a much smaller town...i had 2 daughters at the time...i created it as an adventure...and was always upbeat and make the entire move a very enjoyable experience....your children get their cues from you...if you appear nervous or unhappy about the move they will feel that from u...so always be upbeat and happy that this is a new life adventure and u are out to enjoy...u can be happy about things like...it will sun shinny all the time in ca....u can always go to the beach and view the ocean...things like that...and maybe if money permits...allow them to have something that was not acceptable before the move...for instance I told my girls that once we moved that could have xbox...and then I followed thru and acquired that for them...so that gave them something else for them to look forward to...but they could not get that until the move was complete and we were in our home...hope that helps...remember...be happy...upbeat...optimistic

Answer 7

9 year olds are pretty resilient. If you talk to her and get her to think of the experience as an adventure, she may adapt quickly. If you are worried about her having to make new friends at school and if she doesn't adjust at first, you can always home school her for a short time until she acclimates to her new surroundings.

Answer 8

She will need to learn Spanish.
Some school districts go all year so you will need to check in on that. Military 'brats' go to allot of schools and they come out fine. It isn't the school you should be worried about. California is a great place to visit but it is not a good place to live. Rent is expensive, traffic is wild. Major culture shock.

Answer 9

i moved from TX to MA its over 1000 miles and i'm glad i did my kids didnt have a chance to attend school in TX because they were to young but now in Ma they start preschool at 2 and a half and the schools are much better and once they get into highschool they can chose what school they want to go to you have to look at it like this they will have a big change but could that change be for the best have you looked into the schools in the area that you plan to move to it could be the best thing you could do for your kids i wish you the best of luck

Answer 10

i'm not sure that i can give you an answer that would really be useful to you because i know that i'm not really in your exact position. i'm a child who is being made to move in a few months. i never really liked the idea because i'm older than 9 and have spent many years with my close friends and now i have to leave them. but i know that my parents are totally doing what they think is best for me and the rest of the family. so here's my one piece of advice...do what you truly think is best for your daughter. maybe even try getting her opinion on the situation you're both in because she might really want you to hear it.