Ok My bf goes crazy sometimes if im talking to my guy friends if im talking to my girlfriends hes fine with it but when it's one of my guy friends he flips!! and he's allowed to talk to his girl friends but im not allowed to talk to me guy friends hmmm.....He's never done anything to try and hurt me physically but hurts me mentally and emotionally and sometimes I see him hugging or kissing his girl friends but tells me he loves me and theres nothing to worry about!! I don't really wanna break up with him but he's kinda pushing me to and sumtimes if im giving my guy friends a simple hug around the neck he gets really sad and starts to cry and he's even punched my friend out b4 for something I did!! Im kinda scared and sad and mixed up in my mind PLEEEEEEEEEEASE HELP!!!!:( And why doeshe grab my azz right in front of the ppl at school and sometimes he pushes me up against the lockers holding my azz and kissing me it kinda feels like he being controlling or something!!
2006-08-31 04:25:49 · 29 answers · asked by sexybaby4u41 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Double standards are a b*tch. Bring this up to him. It may be in his "DNA" to be like this. If it is, then DITCH HIM!
2006-08-31 04:28:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The short answer? Because YOU LET HIM.
Guys feel that there still exists a social double standard. As long as you allow him to do the things that he's doing to hurt you and piss you off, he's going to continue to do them.
Frankly you have three real choices:
Choice 1) you can tell him that he doesn't own you - which is true. You are NOT a piece of property for him to control. Chances are, this will end the relationship at some point because he NEEDS to CONTROL you, and as soon as he figures out that you're not going for that any more, he'll bail. Till he does though, he'll make you life a living f*cking hell. But when he does finally go - Good riddance. You don't need that kind of sh!t...believe me.
Choice 2) you can bail without further ado. Frankly, this is the route I personally would take, but then again, I have been around longer and I know what I want and what I deserve and a jerk like that does NOT do it for me.
Choice 3)...really the worst anyone could do: stay in the relationship and suck it up. He's never going to change, but if you really want to continue to take his crap and live a life he "designs" for you, then there ya go.
I say, go for #2 - women don't seem to understand that they CAN do better. You do NOT need another person to define who you are. GET OUT and be happy for once in your life.
2006-08-31 04:36:33 · answer #2 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, Please leave this guy alone because he is controlling you. It will only get worse the longer you stay in this. If your still in high school there is no way for you to just be able to talk to girls all the time. If you are talking to these guys it should be about normal stuff, and I don't see where there is a problem with it.Your boyfriend has problems and he's very jealous. If he's beating up other people over things like this what does that tell you? I'm very concerned for you because emotional abuse is the worst abuse, trust me I have been there before. Get yourself a guy that is confident in who he is, and a guy that doesn't have jealousy or controlling issues. Your too young to be going through this. Leave him and when you do your going to see how much of a weight has been lifted off of you. Good luck, and take care.
2006-08-31 04:41:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you may be going across but try to understand about the thin line across you which is towards happiness and one towards sadness. Your life is free. Ask yourself out of any fear of hurting others or anything if you are really happy with your boyfriend or not. Actually if he really loved you he would know how to give you respect in public like not holding your *** etc. Certain amount of jealousy is good but alot of something can be lethal. Think what if he severely damages some of your mates organs and you had to pay thousands of money, what you would do??? To be clear in everything you must decide now as this day will never come back to you again in your entire life and then you will be stuck forever. If you are not a virgin don't cry coz even non virgins get great life on this world!!!!. A relationship ought to be simple, enjoyable and long-lasting. This comes with some good observation.
2006-08-31 04:38:18 · answer #4 · answered by payal m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are these the first signs of abuse?
Have a talk with him. Ask him why HE can hug his girl friends and you can't hug your guy friends. You have to reassure him that you love him and that you'd never cheat on him because I think that he has some trust issues-like he thinks you like your guy friends better than him or something. If he is getting aggresive when you hug your guy friends,don't do it so that he can calm down but then tell him that you don't appreciate him hugging his girl friends.
The grabbing *** bit...do you think that that is sexual abuse??? A bf (notice that he is now an EX) of mine did that once...he pushed up against a wall and started to kiss me....INFRONT OF THE WHOLE SCHOOL!!! I told him I don't like him doing stuff like that in public.
Good luck honey. And I strongly recomened and urge you to read:
Is He Worth It? By Sherry Ashworth. It is published by Livewire.
It could help and relate to you alot as a girl in the story is wondering wheter or not to leave her bf as he is touching her in public,pressuring her to do it,getting annoyed at her for seeing her guy friends and he is just being overprotective of her. And he pulls a nasty joke on the girl with one of his ex-gf. Her friends tell her to leave him,but she doesn't and blames his trust issues on women because his mom walked out of his life when he was a child.
I won't give away anymore, but PLEASE READ THAT BOOK!!! It will help you as the character is going through almost the same situation as the one you are going through. Good luck again!
2006-08-31 04:43:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He does this to you because he's abusive AND because you let him. Get out now while you can. If you aren't with him, he can't abuse you like he's been doing. You say that you are scared and sad, so why would you want to be with anyone who makes you feel that way...even for a second? It sounds like you are young as you are talking about "lockers". You need to get away from this control freak ASAP. He doesn't love you. He wants to control you.
Talk to an adult that you trust to help you through this process...a school counselor, parent, older sister...somebody with some sense!
You have a long life ahead of you to be loved by someone who respects you.
2006-08-31 04:32:29 · answer #6 · answered by texanaka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should sit down & have a good talk with your boyfriend!
In a relationship things are 50% to 50% so if he doesn't want you to talk to your guy friends then you should ask the same from him (he should not talk to his girl friends). Tell him about this and be firm on that.
As regards him grabbing your ***, well I don't think this is a very nice gesture, especially in front of other people...So make it clear to him. I think he has to respect you, and you should impose him to respect you.
Talk to him, but don't ask it like he's kind of making you a favor. The best way to work things out is by telling each other what you like what you don't. And you have to respect each-other's decisions and requests!
Hope things go fine for u 2
best of luck
2006-08-31 04:53:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes he is being controlling and he also is insecure, that is why he gets all upset about you talking to your guy friends. I have been there and I can tell you positively that it won't get better! If you choose to stay with him, you will end up losing those guy friends. However, I am here to tell you that even if you give up your guy friends his insecurity will still be there and eventually you will want to run screaming away from him. Hopefully, after all that is said and done, you will have any friends still waiting around. As much as you don't want to you need to just move on, cause it can only get worse.....TRUST ME!
2006-08-31 04:34:29 · answer #8 · answered by str8tequila80 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly this is how some abusive relationships begin. I dont know how long u have been with this man, but i would honestly step back and take a break. See how he reacts to that. Im not telling you to throw away your feelings but nobody deserves to be treated like this. The public displays of affection is how he PROVES to everybody you are HIS, in his own mind. To everybody else it looks a lil tacky If i was personally in this situation i would flock to my man friends.. just to prove to him.. nobody can control how i act.. let him know this is u.. take it or leave it.. love it or hate it. dont ever change who you are for somebody else. Be yourself and make u happy. Good luck
2006-08-31 04:35:48 · answer #9 · answered by misskaykai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He must be the jealous type. Try to emphasize the point that whoever those guys were, they were only friends.
He's jealous, and he knows it. He's proabably trying to make you jealous by kissing other girls (who could also be just friends)
Just because you have a boyfriend, doesn't mean you can't have other friends, right??
About the whole @$$ thing, if you don't like it, tell someone, dear. For all you know, his intentions might be good.
2006-08-31 04:31:25 · answer #10 · answered by zack_falcon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's either a real a**hole or he's extremely protective of you. He has this double standard becaus ehe knows what's happening in his head, but not what's goign on in yours. He knows that he loves you and won't leave you for another girl, but he doesn't know if you feel 100% mutual and if you'll leave him. Maybe he has had past experiences in which he did nothing and his gf left him, or cheated on him or whatever. The more you talk to him and the more you show him that you love him and you won't leave him for another guy, the more he'll get over this.
2006-08-31 04:30:53 · answer #11 · answered by locomonohijo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋