My sister is MEAN!!!?

Question

my sis and i are close, but she does not have one friendly or compassionte bone in her body. She is sarcastic, judgemental, and very hurtful at times without even realizing it! She has been this way her hole life and there's no way to approach her on the subjuct, she is pushing me away, but i dont want to be! There is no changing her~ I need advice on how to deal with her, I dont want to lose my sister.

Answer 1

next time she says something hurtful, say "why did you say that, it hurt me, did you mean to do that?" If no one has said anything she might not realise it. After so much time, this is a habbit that will be hard to break. Try not to say you do this and you do that, has she will get defensive, try and say how what she does affects you and that you cannot cope/handle or are feeling sensitive to critism right now, and could she help by not picking on any of your bad habits/dress sense etc.

Answer 2

Just deal with it. Just know the things she says, she is not saying it to hurt you, she is just saying it because that is the way she is. I am the same way. A lot of friends, when I first meet them, are shocked at how mean I can be. But its good fun.
One time, I told my friend I was having a birthday party, she said "oh really can i come?" and sarcastically I said " No!" well she was in the bathroom crying after that. I didnt realize those little comments I made hurt other people so badly

so your siser probably does feel bad about it

Answer 3

I have a middle sister like that and I use to have to share a room with her when we were growing up. She made my life a living hell! She would dig her nails in me and draw blood! We shared a huge bed and she would draw a line down the middle of the bed and told me to not cross it and stay on my own side of the bed! Once I challeged her and stuck my foot across on her side and she yelled at me to get it back on my side.This was 3am in the morning! I thought she was asleep! I just happened to wake up at that time.(In my mind I was thinking is she awake all night watching to see if I put any part of my body on her side of the bed?) Creepy!!
She was someone that you didn't wake up before noontime. Definately not a morning person. Most of my childhood, I devised ways to just stay out of her vision and make myself as invisable as possible.
It just didn't seem to do any good to tell my mom about my sister's meaness nor would the other siblings help me out.

But, when I was sixteen, things changed because my mom died and I and my youngest sister had to go and live with an aunt until we were of age. I never lived with my middle sister again.

She got her own place had kids and her meaness changed to niceness and when I went to visit her she was really sweet to me! I didn't know this sister like this! It was so touching and kind of made up for all the torture I endured at her hands when we were kids.

I said all that to say this, things can change with you and your sister. It might not be overnight but it will come. It has to as time goes on. You will not be in that situation forever!
Is it possible to talk to her and ask her why she is so mean or what you can do to get along better? Keep on trying and tell her your heart's cry and you love her and want you her to stop pushing you away! Just keep on being persistent until you break through. She has to give in eventually. Good luck! I am rooting for you!

Answer 4

Do your own thing. It sounds like she is older in age. That's the age when they start to act more different and distant from you. Don't worry you wont loose her, it is just time for her to go through her grow up stages without being always by your side. Even though she did it all her life, is the age difference separating both of you. I have three sisters and my older sister played with us until she was 11 and after wards she started to do her own things with her friends. We missed her dearly but she grew up before we can even think about her. Today, we are all close like when we were kids.

Answer 5

It seems as if she might have some kind of insecurity issues. Sit down with her and tell her exactly how you feel. Try to find out what makes her act this way. Let her know that you love her and appreciate her companionship, but her behavior is pushing you away.

Answer 6

Sometimes you just have to distance yourself from your siblings so that maybe they will realize in the long run what they are doing. My sisters think that I am the same way but I am far from it. You just have to go on with your life and hope for the best.

Answer 7

same thing with me and my mother we switched roles!
i just tried this! and here is how i approached her with it cuz you don't want them to get mad or upset or feel bad so make yourself look bad and they will help!
go to Coping.org look for tools for personal growth!
print up all or some of the stuff in there! make two copies go to your sister and say this!
Hey i want to do this project but really want someone i'm close with to do it with me! then hand her the copies and explain what it is!
say this you dont' have to do it but i feel that you could keep me motivated in with and i feel that in eed to work on someof these things!
even if you don't need to work on it do it anyway you learn alot about yourself and so will your sister then 1 day a week or so talk about what you learn! keep the journal but don't read everything in the journal some stuff is meant for only you!
my mother and i our on the self esteeem part! she has none! and if i would of said to here here mom thought you would want this she would of thrown it away! and her feelings wouldof been hurt! so i sneakitively did it that way She is all for it! and WANTS to do ! and that is what counts! i really don't want to but if that will help my mom be a better person and grow inside! then it's well worth it!
Good luck!
Mad luv

Answer 8

Why don't you distance yourself from her a little bit? I don't mean give her the cold shoulder completely, but I mean occupy yourself with your friends and your activities. Let her come to you a bit. That might balance things a little more and is certainly worth a try if you can't talk to her about the subject. I doubt she'll like it when you aren't so available.

Answer 9

Write her a letter. My sister wrote me one years ago. I thought I was being funny and we were bonding on some kind of adult humor level. She thought I was being mean and hurtful. I didn't know how she was feeling until I saw it in black and white. It also gives you a chance to think about exactly what to say and you're not stumbling over your words like you might do if you were talking face to face.

Answer 10

I deal with a sibling, too. I learned how to let him be nicer to me by suddenly with him and him with kindness. You should do the same. You won't lose her.