OK, I'll go along with it: Does eggplant prove that God is purple?

Question

I meant it as a joke, but that's what people want.
And I'm a believer in giving people what they way.
(Especially if they happen to be a really hot looking woman, or better yet 4 of them...)

*ahem*
Where was I?

OH, OK, folks, go to it.

Does eggplant prove that God is purple?

Wittiest answer gets 10 points.

(fundamentalists, here's your chance to show that you can have a sense of humor about religion)
Life is short. Have some fun!

in case you are wondering about my typos, I type with my elbows.
Not because I don't have fingers, but because I like the challenge.

Answer 1

I want to witness to you why eggplant is the Vegetable of God. An eggplant is smooth and wonderful to touch, and you'll notice it is shaped somewhat like a womb, revealing the mystery of creation from a single source.

Always delicious, it's such a versatile food, can be scrambled or fried or cubed or grilled or shishkabobed. Clearly a food for all people.

It goes wonderfully with pasta, as any vegetable blessed by the Flying Spaghetti Monster must.

And its outward color — purple — the color of royalty, the king of kings. More purple than a grape, more purple than Barney.

Divine.

Answer 2

No!!!

It is really hard to write a hymn about eggplants. You just can't substitute God for Eggplant. If God were purple you could use eggplant and God interchangeably. But you can't.

Try..

A mighty fortress is our eggplant, a bulwark never failing;
Our helper He, amid the flood of mortal ills prevailing:
For still our ancient foe doth seek to work us woe;
His craft and power are great, and, armed with cruel hate,
On earth is not his equal.

or

Eggplant of our fathers, Whose almighty hand
Leads forth in beauty all the starry band
Of shining worlds in splendor through the skies
Our grateful songs before Thy throne arise.

It just does not work.

Or even...

Our Eggplant, Who art in heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven...

See what I mean? If God were purple you couldn't tell the difference between the two.

Pabs

Edit: (See below) Now pumpkin works. Jeez I hadn't thought about that. Try it you'll see.

Answer 3

OK, I'll give it a shot...

The eggplant was the fruit most often eaten in Rome but it was a deep green like all eggplant. The Roman prophet Biggus Gauis was about to enjoy his evening meal of eggplant when he saw a blinding light and was filled with the holy spirit who said to him. "Behold me and enjoy". When the light faded the eggplant had turned a dark purple.

Touched, he ran outside and proclaimed this truth to the world and planted the seeds of this eggplant all throughout Italy.

Answer 4

The Eggble, written two weeks ago, proves that God is purple. Just read it. If you don't accept the Egglettes as your personal Saviors you will be roasted in a 450 degree oven for all of eternity.

Save yourself now and you too can be purple. Give your life to vegetables. You can be saved. It's not too late.

Praise the purple! Hallelujah.

Answer 5

Did you know that carrots used to be purple?

Don't believe me, believe Aunty Beeb...

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/1991768.stm

They were changed, or rather bred out, because people prefer orangey carrots: dunno why myself cos it happened in the middle ages here in England.

So, if you had asked 'carrots are orange therefore God is orange' YOU WOULD HAVE LOOKED VERY SILLY WOULDN'T YOU.

However, you didn't (which is just as well as the point I was going to raise was tenuous and existential at best)

Is God Purple?

If the Christians are right (which would be a proper turn up for the books if they were) then Man was made in God's image, so we would be purple too, we ain't so he ain't - QED innit

I personally don't think that he is, as it is a hard colour to accessorize around. ...The only purple you ever see anyone wearing is hippies in tie-dyed stuff, they definitely can't be right as well can they?

I am confused now, you have shaken my philosophy to its very core, I shall retire to my drawing room and take some tea to revive myself.

Answer 6

No, because some "eggplants" have WHITE fruit (hence the name "eggplant").

You obviously only eat the purple kind, so I'm assuming that it is you that has become purple (you are what you eat). Eat some other color, and maybe your eyes will clear up.

I'm eating green beans at the moment -- will I become a Martian? Hum ...

Answer 7

Well yes...

So many people are saying that the eggplant proves that God is purple and I've just gotten the urge to believe all of them suddenly.

I mean if they are all saying the same thing, they MUST be right...right...? o.O

Answer 8

Barney Purple Dinosaur is Purple.
Barney Purple Dinosaur is God.
Ergo, God is Purple.

Eggplant was just a purple herring.

Q.E.D.

Answer 9

I figure, as an atheist who doesn't really care about the color of a mean imaginary sky pixie, that "god" is blue, since most of the planet is blue when seen from space. Or maybe he just wants to be blown like most men. LOL

Answer 10

well you see the bible says that "we" were created in his image - now since we is all inclusive and since obviously when god was addressing his creation he would have been addressing all of his creation he must have been addressing the eggplant as well as part of his creation so since the eggplant is created in god's image and it is purple than god must be purple too

lol that was fun