What should a mother do if her 7 year old son screams and cries everytime she leaves?

Answer 1

My 8 year old daughter is having problems all of a sudden as well. No screaming but she is crying. It is frustrating so I understand how the mother must feel. It hurts my heart I know.

You have to comfort them and reassure them that you are not leaving forever and will be back at (whatever time).
Gently ask where the fear and emotion is coming from, there may be an honest fear, seperation anxiety or something bad may have happened once when the mother was gone. Many times trauma of some sort can bring this on, or an illness when they are together for an extended period of time and now the routine has changed again. (our case)

Routine is the key it seems and sticking to that routine. Then reassure but do not baby since theya re not babies and can actually get mad sometimes if they feel like they are being babied.
This is a hard age because they are coming into their own a bit more, and are growing and changing so much. There are more responsabilities at school and home and they can do so much more on their own as well.

Some kids are also just quite clingy to their mom or dad and soemtimes both. Some kids are just happier and feel safer with their parent and do have trust issues when it comes to other people.
It can be very complex and to get mad and yell or tell the child in anger to act their age will just make it worse. Do not do it in anger, do it with love, because parents are the child's only gaurenteed safe place many times.
Take your time and try to be understanding and as loving as possible but firm to get the boy to understand that he will be ok.
Good luck !

Answer 2

Has he done this forever or is it just starting?

If he has always done it perhaps it is just a habit that needs breaking. Talk him first: Tell him that you love him and miss him every time you leave but his screaming is no longer acceptable. Then talk to your sitter and tell them that if he displays this behavior when you leave that he is to be punished. Put him in the corner one minute per year or 7 minutes.

If it has just started, talk to him about what the difference is. Ask him if some one did anything and then told him not to tell. Talk with his childcare provider about any bad situations or if there was a conflict with another child, etc. You may want to consider finding a different school, sitter or whatever it is you are having problems with.

If this doesn't help, and I know you don't want to hear this, but maybe he has an emotional problem and needs some therapy. Maybe you should try to find a children's councilor for him. My step-daughter had to go through counseling for a while. Her mother abandoned her and she didn't know how to cope with it so she cried all the time. The councilor gave her some one to talk through all her problems and sort out feelings she didn't understand. She is a completely different child now - happy.

Answer 3

Well, is he an only child? Is he the baby of other siblings?

By age 7, the crying when mommy leaves should have stopped.

1) I would have to find out what is going that he acts this way. Are you leaving with someone who does not treat well? There may be something going with whomever you are trusting with your child.

2) Pick a day when you can come back much sooner than expected and pop in and see if there may be something going on.
There probably is nothing wrong but what you find is a happy well adjusted child who is having fun upsetting you because you have to leave him.

If this is the case, be a little stern with him but not mean and simply tell him to straighten up the next time you have to leave.

Let him know, you are not going to continue to got through this every time you have to leave him. You need for him to act like a big boy and you will be back to pick him up. Let him know he can call you if he need to talk to you or hear your voice.

He will mature and grow out of it but you may have to help to put an end to this behavior.

Good Luck !! :D

Answer 4

That's a tough stage, I've been through it twice. I have one son but two times he's gotten to the point of crying when I left home. Just after 9/11 he cried and hung on to me when I went back to work (I'm a flight attendant for AA). A lot of people would call me a bad parent but I promised to bring him a treat from where I was going on my trip. Usually it was just a little chocolate (like from Zurich) or a small toy or book that I couldn't get in the States. He started looking forward to his "treat" and forgot to stress as I was leaving. It worked like a charm. A year or so later he would cry when I was dropping him off at school because he was afraid something would happen to me while he was at school and I wouldn't be there to pick him up. I made sure I was never late, in fact I was always early and at the front of the car pool line so he didn't have to go through the stress of looking for me. I went into school and we (my son and I) talked to the school councilor and she was very helpful. She was very kind to him and he knew there was a friendly person that knew what he was going through. He got over it in about a month and has been fine ever since. Good luck to you, this too will pass.

Answer 5

well you never went into detail. like has he been home with you all summer? and crying when taking him to school? or do you take him to a daycare or sitter? and he is crying when you leave?is their someone new in your life? new baby? boyfriend? husband? does he have a mental problem? my son just turned 7 last week and he doesn't cry when i go to work. maybe you should ask him why?? is he just not getting enough of your attention or his he having a problem at his babysitters or at school? has he always done this or has it just started? if it just started sit down and have a talk with him and find out what's wrong. i know they are still "little" to us but at 7yrs old they are old enough to understand what is appropriate behavior and what is not. and if he is not giving you a good reason why he is crying when you leave,so that you can fix the problem then he needs to understand that you will not tolerate that kind of behavior from him and that doesn't make you happy when he acts like a 2yr old and not a young man. you cant help him if you dont know whats wrong so ask him. good luck

Answer 6

When I leave my almost 5 year old at daycare, we have lots of hugs, find the friends that are there, and they watch me on the security cameras and I wave, mime hugs, make funny faces---all of which really helps. I also make sure he knows that I will be back. We've done this for 2.5 years now. And since we started, there have been no tears. It is our routine.

The common wisdom on leaving kids is to do it quickly, but I've found they are better off if I leave them comfortable---not necessarily quickly. Having a routine helps.

My younger child has a different routine than the older child, and he often says goodbye before I'm ready to exit his classroom, because he is ready to do his own thing after a hug and a kiss and sitting down to some cereal with his friends.

Answer 7

Who are you leaving him with and why? Is this something that just started recently or has he always done this? If he is being taken to a new sitter or daycare or if he's been with the same person and this just started it could be a sign of abuse. I'm not saying it is, it just could be. Mom needs to TALK to her son. He is capapble of having a conversation and if something is wrong he may tell you. Make sure he knows that he is safe and NOTHING is going to hurt anyone or anything he loves. Or it may not be abuse and he will tell mom what is bothering him. That is going to be the only way she'll know, because he is the only one that knows what he's feeling.

Answer 8

Take a picture of you and your son and let him hold on to it. Talk about what going to happen through the day in the morning. Tell him when you get back you will read a book, or play a game, or watch a movie it he is good, doesn't cry. Good luck

Answer 9

explain the simple truth to him: that mom loves him completely and would be quite happy to give him all of her attention all of the time, but that reality dictates this cannot be so - and mom cannot escape reality even if she wants to. the leaving she must do is not an un-loving thing...it is the opposite...and son is going to have to learn to accept it...because mom cannot give herself and her family a good quality of life, if she ignores the reality that she must attend to other things in life, as well. it is simply impossible for her to spend every minute with him - no matter how much she might WISH it were otherwise.

she has to leave to attend to the things she must, in order to keep a household running for the benefit of the family. (when i am away, i am still thinking of you and doing things i must do for you, to provide you with what you need...which i do because i love you) i think a seven-year-old can understand that she does what she does - including leaving him sometimes - because she loves him so much.

worth a try?

Answer 10

7 seems kind of too old to be doing that. I was always assured when my kids cried with a babysitter or at Pre k, they usually shut up after I was gone.