I started working this week after 1yr and a half of staying at home w/my baby, So i got this baby sitter whom my mother in law and her mom know, They say she's a great baby sitter and everyone loves how she takes care of the kids. But I went to the store like 2 days ago and my son saw some kids and started playing w/them and the little girl tells me that my son is at the babysitters with her so i said really? So i start asking.. did she hit him( the babysitter) she said yes, i ask why she says because he was throwing the toys, i ask did she hit him hard ? she says yes, i say did he cry ? she says yes, i asked does she hit him all the time or only when he does bad stuff? she said only when he does bad stuff. So since i dont really know this sitter i dont feel peace in my heart to leave my son w/her. So i asked my sister to watch him and i'll pay her, but she lives like 30 mins away, i trust my sister more, and when my sis left my baby started crying because he wanted to be w/her so
2006-08-31 03:00:10 · 17 answers · asked by sourgirl 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
My question is am i exaggerating?? Everyone likes the baby sitter, i just dont feel right..
2006-08-31 03:00:42 · update #1
And by the way since i dont know the baby sitter at all other than word of mouth I dont wanna leave my son there, but my husband says that the sitter did the right thing to smack his little hand when he threw a toy, I never gave permission for my son to be smacked. He also says that the sitter has more experience than my sister and we're just gonna cause trouble with my sis cus its a long drive and the $$ for my sis wouldnt be worth it. What should i do?? my sister is willing to watchin h im at least 2 days a week and the other 2 he can be at the baby sitter. but we'd go back to the same thing, what should I do ???
2006-08-31 03:02:52 · update #2
So, how old was this girl you asked about this stuff? You really shouldn't for the most part take the word of some kid you don't know. Maybe they like to tell stories and make stuff up. Maybe they aren't old enough to differentiate between fantasy and reality.
You could try asking the babysitter if she has ever had to discipline your child. Open a dialogue with her. If she's a good sitter, she'll understand and have no problem explaining herself to you in the open. That would also allow you to reiterate your unwillingness to allow others to discipline your child by hitting. Maybe she just assumes that you would allow it because she knows your family members. Who knows? But with the other logistical issues involved in your situation, I think you should at least try to talk to this sitter and resolve the issues with her personally before you are forced to find another option.
2006-08-31 03:10:47 · answer #1 · answered by hbennett76 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you stay with the sitter get her referances, you should have done this to start. Talk to the other moms who leave thier kids there. Find out if any other moms have pulled thier kids out of this sitters "daycare". Make sure she is licensed or certified. She should not be hitting anyone elses kids. Also, know your source, you asked a kid grown up questions. Look in the paper for a new sitter that is closer, get referances, ask her questions before you leave your son with her. Next time, don't go just by word of mouth! When's the last time your mom or MIL needed a babysitter? This girl may be nice, but she might not really be babysitting material. BTW you could look for a SAHM, she could use the money and already has experiance.
2006-08-31 11:39:10 · answer #2 · answered by Jnine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it sounds like you asked a preschool age child some pretty leading questions. I wouldn't believe any of it.
Worst case scenario, if what the little girl said is true, then your kid threw some toys and the babysitter smacked the back of his hand. That's not the end of the world, although I agree with you that it's not appropriate for a 1 1/2 year old.
You have to do whatever makes you comfortable, because it's your child. How does HE respond to the new babysitter?
She's also not the only babysitter in the world. I'm sure you can find a new one.
2006-08-31 11:10:57 · answer #3 · answered by smurfette 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm lost. What made you think to ask the little girl if this women hits your child.
I disagree with your husband. This woman has no business hitting your child even just a smack on the hand without discussing it with you first...but as the parent, you should have discussed her discipline methods with her ahead of time.
You could speak to her about what you were told and why you pulled your son and get her side of it. If you feel strongly that you don't want your child hit you could tell her. You are paying her and you are the boss.
If you aren't at peace you should ignore your husband and not leave him...your mommy radar is going off.
She sounds pretty out dated in her discipline. At his age, your son should simply be told "NO" firmly. For all you know she's a yeller too. He is almost to the age of time-outs, but he should be told no and redirected first, he should also receive positive reinforcement.
Why don't you look at other options...your sister and this woman are not the only sitters in the world. 30 minutes is too far...can she come to you since you are paying her?
2006-08-31 10:12:44 · answer #4 · answered by jm1970 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel comfortable with the sitter then don't leave your child with her. Sometimes our insincts are right. Why not put an ad in the paper for a sitter in $8 an hour. Then you can install a nanny cam and know exactly what is going on. If this is too much money then stay at home, you can watch other peoples kids, make some extra cash have peace of mind, and be doing what is best for your child!
2006-08-31 10:11:51 · answer #5 · answered by rye252000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it could not be true, at all. If you ask a child a leading question, sometimes, though not on purpose, they aren't truthful. I would sit down and have a talk with the babysitter. No, you are not being overly cautious. I would do the same thing.
Ask the babysitter if what the girl said was true. If she says it is, be up front with her and tell her that you don't want your son to be hit. Period. If she has a problem wtih it, find another sitter.
Good luck.
2006-08-31 10:11:23 · answer #6 · answered by rlms_girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there I am mother of 3, and if somebody's else hits my kids other than family but they never do i'd go nuts and will never take them there.But anyways i understand you have to work and need a babysitter. Ever since me and my husband decided to have kids he never wanted to work just as long as I'm home with the kids then we'll both feel better. I have parents and younger siblings they all work and never wanted to depend on them too much.If i did have to work because my husband works at a Scaffold company sometimes it does get slow in the winter or when it rains alot then all i find an evening job because he works in the day and he's home like 4pm then I'll the overnight shift or evening like 5pm to midnight. I hated being away in the evening but no choice ,anyways he's home with the kids. So we've been married for about 11 years and i've only worked about 4 years sometimes i don't work at all because we'd rather stretch each paycheck, they safety for our kids is a priority. Somehow it very fortunate that my husbands income affords our monthly expense i know it always good to have an extra income but what else can we do....
2006-08-31 11:21:04 · answer #7 · answered by thickmadame 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids make up stories! Ask them if they are superman, they say yes! You asked the child in the supermarket a leading question and they made it up as they went along.
Try re-enactment with your child. Throw toys and see how he responds.
Talk with the babysitter and see how she handles discipline. Tell her you do not hit or spank your child, and she is expected to do the same. If she can't handle that, then you will need to find someone else.
Maybe ask your sister to *come over and clean the house* while your sitter is there. Your sister can then tell you how the sitter reacts to your childs disobedience. She will be able to tell if she's "faking" being nice or truly uses a non-violent approach.
2006-08-31 11:04:31 · answer #8 · answered by continuously_confused 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child should not ever be hit in a daycare. That is not there job. Even if the parents say that they don't mind if someone else is hitting their child. I would not send my child back their. That might just be be. I would find someone else. Or just talk to the day care lady and tell you that you were talking to the other moms and you don't want your child to be hit. Hope this helps good luck.
2006-08-31 10:20:21 · answer #9 · answered by Jessica p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah moms know best if you feel uncomfortable with the sitter than have your sister babysit i don't trust any body but my mom because you see all the news on the TV and the news paper so go with your gut feeling a mothers instance is the best and is normally never wrong
2006-08-31 10:47:03 · answer #10 · answered by hellokitty_19_2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋