Wanted - Prophet for six thousand year old "Big Three" religion. Looking
for powerful orator with superior chastisement skills and ability to contort
face into pained and anguished expressions. Must be fluent in Hebrew,
Aramaic and English. Primary job responsibility consists of trying to
change the World through meaningful debate. Extensive traveling
required. Possible promotion to Messiah within three years. Competitive
salary and full range of benefits (except for life insurance) including pension
plan offered. If you predict the end of the World your pension account
immediately becomes 100% vested. Please send resume and salary
requirements to:
The Jews
777 Sacred Highway
Jerusalem, Israel
No agencies please.
Do you have the skills?
2006-08-31 02:21:40 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
*Timmy Cripple waves his hands wildly with excitement, drools down his chin and attempts speech*
AAAAACK!! Timmy! Timmy, Timmy, Timmy!!!
AAAAAAACKKK!!!!
TIM-MEH!
2006-08-31 02:41:40 · answer #1 · answered by Jeannie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can act, but not speak the ancient languages. Plus I don't really fit the profile, and can't travel. Sorry
2006-08-31 09:27:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I will "prophet" with 2 points.
2006-08-31 09:28:00 · answer #3 · answered by mckellmail 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"help" available, but only at the "throne of grace",
where only "mercy" is "obtain"-able, and for "all",
if "there is no respect of persons with God".
So, don't bother going there for self-ish reason.
(work out your own salvation with "fear"[law])
TgooLJCwya. Amen.
2006-08-31 09:31:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can guarantee that every time believers say my name, they will also add something like 'bananas be upon him', then I am interested
2006-08-31 09:27:11 · answer #5 · answered by bonzo the tap dancing chimp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this job sucks man, what about the salary and the anual promotions?
2006-08-31 09:26:13 · answer #6 · answered by happy_84 k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry i don't have the skills but i hope you do find some one like that in this world because we need them and bad.
2006-08-31 09:26:56 · answer #7 · answered by Kokoa 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WELL, After 3 days, you get a "raise"....
2006-08-31 09:27:14 · answer #8 · answered by Madeleine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
any breaks! do I get all the holidays off?
2006-08-31 09:46:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
is this a play or something?
2006-08-31 09:28:47 · answer #10 · answered by meta-morph-in-oz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋