How do I ask?

Question

My fiance and i are getting married in June, and I am unsure of how to ask the family - particularly my father if he is going to help contribute anything to the wedding. What would be a good way to ask, without sounding rude, or anything.... he has not mentioned anything about helping and it kind of bothers me... what do i do??????

The wedding is not expensive, but anything would help us out !!!!!

My mother and I do not have a relationship and she has nothing to do with the wedding that is why i say only my father in particular

Answer 1

Just tell BOTH (you don't want to isolate either set of parents) sets of parents you want to get together to discuss details of the wedding.

You can also go to a site like theknot.com and they can give you a printout of the "traditional" financial roles that every member of the wedding party/family takes on.

You can go from there and see what they think about it... play it by ear.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

Well it depends on a lot of factors. How old are you? Have you and your fiance been living together for some time? How traditional is your family?

Taking all those things into account - if you have pretty much had your own life separate to them for a while they probably won't expect to pay for the whole wedding although asking to contribute would be completely allowed.
If you are still living under their roof and they are traditional - they would probably expect to pay for the wedding. Like my parents , they have given me a budget and anything over and above is for my account.

Answer 3

I think if he was going to chip in towards the cost of the wedding - he would have done already! Unless hes saving a bit of brass to give to you as he doesnt have anything at the moment - but dont hold your breath, traditionally (thankfully not anymore) it was always the brides parents job to pay for the wedding as a kind of western 'dowry', but this was usually only for a young woman who was still living at home, and moving straight from her parents home into her married home, thesedays - its quite rare - unless the families very wealthy and want a big wedding, but the upside of paying your self - is that you can have what you want and you can have it your way.

Answer 4

I was raised in a household where the children were not allowed to
ask for anything so I feel for you.
This is my suggestion.....Start out by asking him if he has any ideas or suggestions for your wedding. Then explain to him we to have a range of ideas because your budget is so limited.
Leave it kind of open ended and see if he takes your hint.
Let's face it, most men have no clue what a wedding costs.
Maybe it has not occured to him that most Daddy's do help pay for there daughter's wedding. Again, some men are clueless.

Answer 5

Say " Daddy, I'm finally found that special person that i looking forward on spending the rest of my life with. And If you could help by contributing in any kind of way with money and expenses. I would help us out a lot."

But don't just jump out and say dad can you help us with money or a loan because they'll be expecting it back.

Another thing ask in the mist of a kind of conversation then you ask not while their upset or doing something around the house.

Also tell him how much it would mean to you and how much you love him.

Answer 6

if u r old enough 2 get married then u r old enough 2 get dad off 2 the side & ask him if there is anything financially he can do 2 help u with the cost of the wedding. honey it saddens me with every...my mother & i have no relationship. what a terrible shame 4 both of u. however 2 cut costs u can do the following...most people do not even know of this untapped resource...call your colleges, local vocational schools. from them u can get...flowers,botony dept...food & servers culinary dept., decorations from drama dept. just call tell them what u need. wedding invitations printing dept. wedding video from video/audio dept. talk about savings 4 budgets. u b the adult & try 2 reach out 2 your mom. life is too short.

Answer 7

if you and your father have a decent relationship set up a place for lunch without your mom and just be honest with him and ask if he is willing to help with the wedding in anyway. saying no wont stop the wedding but it will let you know his place in the wedding planning. honesty is the best way to go with it .

Answer 8

Well we just sat my parents down and we started talking about the wedding and we decided together that they were going to pay for the reception and we were going to pay for the ceremony. Just sit down with him and say hey dad just wanted to show you some ideas we had for the wedding and see what he says if he doesn't say anything then you need to ask. You do have to know what is going on.

Answer 9

Just come out and ask but do it in a polite way. Ask him if he wouldnt mind helping you out with the wedding, and if he says he doesnt want to help, then leave him alone about it, and if he gets upset that you asked, then leave him out of the wedding and dont invite him.

Answer 10

This is something that should be discussed at a meeting of the two families - both of your sets of parents. Hopefully, you are handling the costs of the wedding, but it gives both sets of parents an opportunity to discuss logistics of the wedding, guests lists and, maybe they may offer something. Do not ask.