should i have children with my husband who is not the same person when i married him.we fight most time....?

Answer 1

It wouldnt be good to bring up children in that kind of an atmosphere. Sort your problems out first then think about having children.

Answer 2

Speaking as a former child who had parents who fought constantly, I reccommend not. If you have pets (dogs), you have probably noticed that when you and your husband fight, they get scared, possibily use the bathroom in the house, hide, and do other unusual behavior for them. CHildren are the same way. The do not do well in these environments. They often are timid, shy, frightful children OR/AND they grow up to be violent adults themselves because they were not taught how to effectively handle problems or deal with anger issues. CHildren also have a instant reaction to their parents fighting that they somehow caused it by not making good grades, not being a better child, not being good enough, spilling the soda, etc. They blame themselves for their parents problems and as a result acquire low self esteem. You may or may not see the effects when they are still children. However, I have heard about children mutalating themselves by biting, cutting, burning, and actually try to kill themselves over issues such as these. As adults, they are likely to be put in jail or be charged with a type of abuse or assualt, and require some type of counseling. I think that your husband and you should seek counseling before putting yourselves and an innocent child in this situation. Handle your problems first. I have no experience with divorce or children of divorce so I couldn't tell you how this would effect your children, however, i imagine not well. And that seems to be the rode that you are likely to head down if you and your husband do not handle these issues that are causing you to fight all of the time. Good Luck.

Answer 3

You have seen a high volume of warnings not to have children if your marriage is in trouble. I agree. Even with a good marriage having a child can lead to a lot of disagreements between new parents who used to get along with each other.

Having a new baby, young child, older child, teenager, young adult in the home can cause a lot of additional work and time to be a good parent. It takes two committed parents to barely do the minimum. One really needs to be the full time caretaker while the other earns the money. If both parents are not pulling their fair share of these responsibilities it is a disaster for the child and then for the parents.

Maybe you and your husband just need to mature a little bit before you learn to get along and then you can revisit the idea of becoming parents together.

Answer 4

Naturally there is no relationship which hasn't got its lows and it is from the way you react to them that steadfast and amicable relationships blossom or wither.
Meditate upon the reasons which trigger these fights and try and honestly see what makes him blow his top.Is it because he has a temper which blinds him to see reason or egotism has taken hold of him? Weigh upon how the arguments which lead to his uncouth, quarrelsome behaviour generate.Do you also react in a humiliating manner such that he finds his manhood being threatened?However,every individual cherishes for a happy,argument-free environment and when children are involved then the environment has to be so serene.
Lastly, I would advise you to seek a marriage counsellor since I believe you have reached the end of your tether.If that doesn't work, then I advise you to opt out because this fighting may be disastrous to your well-being.Remember never argue with a fool for onlookers might not know the difference.
I hope your husband will change to be a tolerant individual who will know that fighting pollutes a loving relationship.You will be in my prayers,God bless!

Answer 5

The mistake people make is thinking that children will make a bad situation better and this is not true, in fact it will make things worse.
In a stable happy home it can be a blessing but children mean added pressure and everything changes.
Your husband will have to share your time and love with the kids and you will depend on him for help so do not rush into such a big commitment, not until you two have sorted out your differences.

Answer 6

Kids are a big step. I have a child and we are not married. Kids can do one of two things. One it can bring you closer which I think that's one of the things that brought me and my sons father closer. When you have a child with someone that is something that only the two of you can share that no one else can. Its a bond. When you are excited about something your child did no one is going to be excited like the mother and father will. Or on the bad side of it...it can cause even more fights because you guys may not agree on things as far as how to raise the child ect. This is something that the two of you will have to think long and hard for because you would hate to bring a child in the world and then you guys split up and he doesn't play an active role like he should.

Good Luck ;-)

Answer 7

Please don't even think about having a baby with a man you cannot have a civilised relationship with.

Babies need to be brought up in a stable loving atmosphere and you don't have that. Think very hard about where your marriage is going and whether you both want the same things in life and from each other. If you can make your marriage work and love each other unconditionally - then start a family. And you will be a family in every sense of the word. Good luck.

Answer 8

HELL NO! Why in the world would you want to bring children into an atmosphere where you and your husband fight all the time, plus you might be falling out of love with this man? Kids need a stable and loving environment with two parents that are committed and in love.

Answer 9

The way you have worded your question it seems that you also have doubts about your relationship. definately do not have children until you have fixed your relationship - children, as fantastic as they are ,do put a big strain on even the best relationships at times. I suggest you both sit down and physically write down individually your likes/dislikes, goals and reasons for being together. you must be totally honest with yourselves when you do it and if you decide your marriage is worth saving and you really do love each other and want to be together and have a family then go seek professional help and get back on track to being happy and content with each other and then you can both look forward to raising a family together. Good Luck - i hope it works out the way you want it to

Answer 10

No. If your marriage is not stable & you fight most of the time, why would you bring an innocent child into it? A child won't fix your marriage but it will add stress. Work on your marriage first...get counseling, then think about a child. Do you want your baby to be around fighting all the time? That is not healthy for a child.

Answer 11

NO Please don't! There are way too many people having children when they really shouldn't and its the kids who have to deal with it. I can't believe you have to ask this question. I am constantly annoyed at the amount of stupid people bringing kids into bad situations. Why would you think it is a good idea? Is it because of selfishness? You want someone to love you unconditionally when your husband isn't? I don't get it.. stop being so bloody selfish and forget about kids until you can bring them into a better environment.