is it my fault?

Question

my ex g/f is in a nut house because she was coming off of herion, when we got together i had no idea she was doing drugs, i have nothing against some drugs but i dont like herion and i never will. when i found out she was taking it i asked her if she would give it up for me, she agreed and i stuck by her, but after a while it got to muchi wanted to support her because i loved her but her mental state got out of control. i went out one day just to the shops and when i come home she'd gone. an hour later i got a phone call from the police saying she'd attacked someone and she was going to be put into mental hospital. is this my fault as i asked her to give up the drugs or would it of happened anyway?

i haven't or heard of her since do you think i should forget about her or should i be here waiting for when she's better?

she never took it around me and never injected it, i might sound stupid but i dont really know the effects of herion, she told me she was on it because she loved me as much as i loved her

Answer 1

no coming off drugs is hard...the fact that you supported her is fantastic and you shoul be proud of yourself and her for trying not meany people would of done such a thing... the fact she attacted somone is because of the withdrawal and probly the chemicals in her brain is unbalanced due to the fact she aint doing drugs anyo more please if you can stick by her shell get the help she needs in hospital thell give her help to overcome the drugs and give her drugs to help her cope with the withdraal you are a very special person for supporting her and she is a very lucky ladie

Answer 2

I don't think this is your fault at all

What I do think is that you need some help and support. If your girlfriend has been sectioned then she can be detained in hospital for up to a month. This usually only happens for a couple of reasons. First being said person is a danger to themselves, second that they are a danger to other people.

The reason people have to be sectioned for such an apparently long time is because with mental conditions diagnosis can take a long time, and also treatment can be tricky. if the herion problem was the cause of all her mental trouble then she can expect help with that, but it isn't something that many people successfully do alone.

I'm sorry to have to say this to you but you are going to be facing an uphill struggle here, but you can get help.

I think you must insist on as much support as you can get in a practical sense. You could be entitled to a mental health support worker, or even financial benefits.

try the MIND info line on 0845 766 0163

You should also call your local benefits agency if your girlfriend returns home and requires care you could be entitled to a carers allowance. They may also put you in touch with social services if you do not already have a social worker dealing with the case.

good luck

S
x

Answer 3

Ultimately she made the choice to do the drug and I am pretty sure she was not under educated about the effects. Ever seen "Trainspotting"... So I believe she had sufficient knowledge to know the effects this evil drug would have on her and her well being. She made the choice also to pursue a relationship with you and you also however not knowing the full circumstances. Therefore she has not been straight with you ever! So that means that this is an experience you need to walk away from. If she stays clean for a year its worth trying then. But if you haven't watched Trainspotting you should as you will begin to understand the uncaring character a heroin user is ...

Answer 4

No, it's not your fault. You have a perfect right to ask someone to change thier behaviour if it disturbs you. It's diffucut to have a proper relationship with someone on heroin becuase thier principal relationship is often with thier habit and not with another person. It's even more difficult while they are trying to give up because they need all thier strength and determination to deal with it and rarley have anything left for anyone else. If you still love her you may find you have to wait on the sidelines until she's completely clear and well. But perhaps you could ask yourself if the person you fell in love with is really her at all. If you were unaware that she was usuing you didn't seem to know her very well - so is that really love? Very often we fall for peple who represent what we (think we) want, rather who we actually need. Can she really give you what you need from where she is right now? Support her by all means but guard your heart well until she's fully recovered i.e. 2 yrs clean with no mental health or legal interventions.

Answer 5

It might have helped if she was on a methadone script from her gp..... but at the end of the day she was unwell and must have had a predisposistion to it all... so i doubt there would have been anything you could have done.... if you still love her as a person, then maybe go see her, she would appreciate the support, or speak to her family first finf out how she is and if she wants to se you.. remember she might be embarresed!!..... its a very difficult situation, just go with your heart, and take one thing at a time....

Answer 6

Not your fault at all. You were completely right to try and get her off drugs and in no way are responsible for the effects of the come-down. She'll be taken care of where she is now, and hopefully will emerge healthy and recovered from her addiction. Don't hold yourself responsible for someone else's actions, especially when you had their best interests at heart.

Answer 7

What if she would have died from a heroin overdose and then you felt bad for not for not convincing her to quit? Permitting the lesser of two bad situations might seem like a good idea, however, you cannot second guess doing what is right.

She got into trouble because she did drugs in the first place.. not because she stopped.

Answer 8

no it isnt your falut

i live next door to a guy who has start taking heroin it has totally changed him. he hardly washes and he would rather go without food. his friends have changed too.

he wanted to stop taking it and he lasted about 4 months then he bumped into a lad who came round when he first started it. and now he is back on it again.

basically the drug makes people weak and its her will power that did it. even if she had all the support in the world if she has low will power then she would snap sooner or later.

just remember it isnt ur falut so dont beat ur self up about it.
there are support groups out there for people like you maybe you could look for one of them in your local area?

Answer 9

when she decided to get off the drugs herself she would have went nuts anyways cuz you need to be in a hospital to begin with when you are trying to get off herion

Answer 10

No its not your fault. When people take smack they are saying goodbye to themselves, there is nothing you could do for her, the smack just takes over. I've known people get on that stuff and they completely change, they become very selfish because all they care for is where their next bag is coming from, i feel really sorry fr you, but it is not your fault, she made the decision to take the stuff in the first place.