Why ABUSIVE-PARENTS have excuses?

Question

I know a little girl who's mom beats her up a lot, not even for good reasons, like if the mom is in a bad day she just get's off with her daughter and beats her really, really hard.
The mom says she was also abused as a kid and i say isn't that a GREAT EXCUSE? I was treated iven worse by my father and now i have a daughter BUT i would die before i treat my daughter like my father treated me, humans are free and have the power of will so there is no excuse for no one. You are either a good or a bad parent your own childhood can NEVER be an excuse.
Any one dosen't agree?

Answer 1

I agree that you should not blame your own crappy childhood on how you raise your own children. Surely you know how bad it was and with all the education out there these days you know its wrong.
When you are an adult, and know right from wrong, you have no excuses if you do such things.
We can learn what do by our parents, but we can also learn what NOT to do by their mistakes.

There is no excuse for violence.

Answer 2

I was also an abused child in every sense of the word. My parents and other relatives were responsible. I am sick and tired of hearing that is the reason most children grow up to be abusive. Bull. I think that abusive people have borderline personality disorder. They may even suffer from some psychotic illness. They need help and they need to be held accountable. You are not only either a good parent or a bad one...you are either a good human or a bad one. The only excuse for bad behavior is the one you give yourself, it doesn't work on normal well balanced people, only on those with the problem.

Answer 3

I totally agree with you. Every parent has a natural tendency of hitting his/her child if the parent had been physically abused as a child. So it takes deliberate effort not to fall into the footsteps of one's parent.

I have an abusive mum too and I know how it'll feel like if I were to treat my children the way she did in future. It puts me in a terribly tight spot because I'm supposed to despise my mum's acts but at the same time, I need to recognise that she went through a horrible childhood herself.

My boyfriend suggests that I see a counsellor before I can move on with the next phase of my life - marriage and parenthood. Sadly, I only have myself to pick up the whole mess that my maternal grandfather started even though he's long dead.

You don't realise this, but you've been an inspirational figure for me in a certain sense. Keep up the good work as a parent!

Answer 4

It's really horrifies me to find out that such a mother would beat her child up just because she was beaten up as a child! That b**** is selfish and isn't fit to be a mother. It would even be an insult to all REAL mothers to call her a mother. If I were you I'd annonymously report the case to the nearest child support service. That poor girl has the right to have real parents who would take better care of her than her biological progenitor.
I prize your attitude towards your daughter, and your good sense in seeing that she is not the one to blame for your abuse. I honestly wish that poor abused girl could have a MOTHER like you.

Answer 5

Hello!! :o) People often confuse the words 'reason' with 'excuse'. The abusive mom in your 'question' has a 'reason' for doing what she does to her own daughter - but she doesn't have an 'excuse'. Her 'reason' is that SHE was also abused. People who are abused [in one way or another] tend to respond to the abuse in one of two different ways. [which is clearly shown within your 'question'] They either do unto others what was done to them [like that abusive mother] OR they REJECT what was done to them - and do everything in their power NOT to do to others what was done to them. [which - thankfully - is the path YOU took] That all said... it's quite possible that YOU are going to have to step up to the plate [so to speak] and come to the defense of that little girl. This the burden one bears whenever they become AWARE of abuse. I'm sure that when you were growing up - you would have wanted someone to stop the abuse in your family. Please seriously consider phoning the police and reporting that abusive mom. Craig!! :o)

Answer 6

I do agree with you but somebody is not to be made a scapegoat. Why should someone suffer for what he didnt know or contributed to. That your own mother dealt with you in your childhood is never an excuse that your own child[children] should suffer the same way you did. Other parents are praying that God should not allow their children to suffer the way they did and that woman is giving that as an excuse to deal with the child IT IS TOTALLY CHILD ABUSE and should be dealt with.

Answer 7

You have a legal responsiblity to protect this child if your know this child is being abused. Call CPS or DCFS and have an open investigation done. Alert this childs school if you know where she attends and alert them to the abusive home situation. They will investigate for you and call the authorities.

You may be saving this childs life from the hands of an abusive parent.

I was abused as a child and became an abuser too. After many years of counseling and learning new methods to control myself I have learned never to act in anger for diciplining my children!

You're making an excuse right now...by now doing anything...CALL SOMEONE today and HELP save this innocent child from the hands of it's mother!!! BAD DAY or not....Accept the NO EXCUSES for ABUSE!!!

Answer 8

I was abused when I was little but I would never touch my children If you know this is going on you better step in and help that child call a family member let one of them know what the crap is going on if you don't want to do that call the police for God sakes

Answer 9

once you advance up in such an ecosystem, you don't be responsive to to any extent further clever or have something sturdy/greater clever to evaluate it to. might you like they did not have mum and dad in any respect? definite it may desire to have been poor and abusive for them, yet each and every each and every now and then some thing is greater clever than not something. additionally, notwithstanding if your mum and dad suck, for many folk there continues to be an instinctual "those are my mum and dad and we are appropriate via blood and that they introduced me into this worldwide" mindset that may not be in a position to be broken no remember how tousled their childhoods have been. i'm going to assert although that not each and every abused toddler/person is like that. i've got met many people who have in no way spoken to their households lower back as quickly as they grew up using fact they honestly resent their mum and dad.

Answer 10

agree with you, you are responsible for what you do, not what your parents did. sure your parents help to shape who you are but they aren't the ones breaking the law and abusing YOUR child. it's very sad actually.