Tell me a joke and make me laugh .....?

Answer 1

Once upon a time in Singapore, there lived a happy
couple, Mr & Mrs Ng with their 3 lovely triplet
daughters; Elaine, Ena & Ella.

The 3 daughters were brought up in a prim-and-proper
fashion and when they reached 20, their parents
thought it was time to get them married.

So, the parents found them the most suitable " leng
chais" ( handsome guys ).

They got married and were preparing to set-off on
their honeymoon.

As "concerned" (more like "kay-poh") parents, Mr & Mrs
Ng were curious about their daughters' first-night
experience. So, before the daughters went on their
respective honeymoons, Mrs Ng told them......" Your
father and I want to know about your 1st night
encounters and whether you were satisfied.

Write a letter to us, but so as not to raise your
husbands' curiosity...you all must use a code-name to
describe your experiences".

So, the excited daughters were off.

A week passed. Mr & Mrs Ng got the first letter. It
was from Elaine.

They opened the letter and found the word "STANDARD
CHARTERED". They immediately took the newspaper and
looked for the Standard Chartered advertisement. "Ah!
here it is!", exclaimed Mr. Ng. The motto for Standard
Chartered was.... "BIG, STRONG & FRIENDLY" Mr & Mrs.
Ng were happy.

A week later, they got another letter. This time it
was from Ena. The content was simple. "NESCAFE". So,
again they took the neswpaper and looked for the
Nescafe ad. "Ah! here it is. "NESCAFE: PLEASURE TILL
THE LAST DROP". Again, Mr & Mrs Ng beamed with joy.

Another week passed. A month passed. And another.
There was still no letter from Ella. The Ngs became
worried. Finally, the letter came. It was scribbled
and could hardly be read, but Mrs. Ng managed to
figure it out. The code-name was "SINGAPORE AIRLINES".

Why Singapore Airlines? Mr.Ng rushed to the nearest
store and got a newspaper. He flipped the pages
frantically. "Ah! Here it is!" Mrs.Ng grabbed the page
and read aloud.

Before she could finish .THUMP!!!...she fell off her
chair. The motto was... "7 TIMES A WEEK. 4 TO 6 TIMES
A DAY. NON-STOP."

Answer 2

A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went.
She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went
dancing and drinking on Saturday nights. Whenever the woman went onto
the dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof
is
on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn!" The crowd on the dance floor would always
cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would

make the parrot yell even more and of course make the crowd go wild.
This
would go on all night long, everytime the parrot went out.

One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the
choir stand with her.

And when the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, "The roof, the
roof,

the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!

Burn, muthafukkah, burn! She embarrassingly corrected the parrot,

"No, you don't say that here!!"


The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same
muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!!!..

Answer 3

a blonde was standing by the lake, she looks around and sees another blonde on the other side. The first blonde asks the second ' Hey, how did you get to the other side?' The second blonde looks around a little confused and after a moment replies ' What do you mean? You ARE on the other side! '

Answer 4

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue.


One day three midgets decided they wanted to be in the record books the fist one says "I have pretty short arms", so he goes and succeeds. The second one says "I have pretty short legs," so he goes and succeeds. The third one says "I have a very small penis," and when he comes back he says "Who the hell is Leonardo DiCaprio?"

Answer 5

Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.
Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out
Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach shes the only one who gets a tan

Answer 6

An asian guy asks a lady at the bank after receiving less dollasr for his Yen, 'Why yeterday I get two hunud dulla fo ma yen. Today i get wun hunud an eighty dulla?"

The teller replies, "FLUCTUATIONS"

The asian dude goes, "**** yoo ameicans too!"

Answer 7

Man comes home , finds his wife with his friend in bed . He shoots his friend to death.

Wife says "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends" .

Answer 8

a man walks into a phychiatrists office wearing nothing but underwear made of seran wrap.

the physciatist says " well I can clearly see your nuts"

Answer 9

what do you do to keep a blonde busy?
write on both sides of a paper, "Please turn Over"

Answer 10

I have a great life..........