ladies please tell me if this is best way to ask?

Question

Ive been in love (i know its a strong word) with this girl for last 7 months

she had a bf when i first met her so i didnt do anything, i assume they are still together, she never talks bout him

ive come to a stage where i cant just wait anymore

im planning on saying this to her.

"Hey, can i ask you something, If you wern't with your boyfriend, do you think there could of ever been anything between us?"

and just go from there.

Ive been getting mixed signals for a long time, some really good some really bad, so rather than try work it out in my head, i think it is best to get an answer

What do you all think?, or is there better wording or not to do at all?

Answer 1

I think that is perfect question? It gives you a chance to see where her mind is and where she stands with. you. She may only see u as being a good friend and i believe the question if asked at the right time will give you the answers you want to know.

Answer 2

Hun I know it's hard but you got to know that there must be a reason she is with the guy she's with. I wouldn't suggest saying anything for now because if she is truly happy where she is, she may become uncomforatable with you and then you would lose a friend. Just hold off and be her friend, the best relationships start as friends anyways and a good friend wouldn't try to confuse you or create stress in your life.

Sorry this isn't an easy position to have to be in for you but it could be worse to do something. If you must say anything I guess you could ask her how long her and this guy have been seeing each other and just make small talk from there, you should be able to see quite quickly if she's totally into this guy or not. If she says she's thinking about leaving him don't ask if there could be anything between you two, just say I'm sorry you feel that way or sorry it isn't working out for you two but I'm here if you need a friend. I would say it's weird that she doesn't talk about him but if she's happy I guess your going to have to wait and if your feelings are still strong for her say 6months down the road then I suppose you will have to ask her your question then.

Hope I was helpful, Good Luck sweetie :)

Answer 3

There is noting wrong in trying as long as you take it up in a decent and earnest fashion. You must make the girl comfortable while you tell her - this means that you should make it clear to her - absolutely clear - that it would be ok even if her answer is no and that you will bear no grudge against her.

Before you do that, you need to prepare yourself mentally. Tell yourself this:

- What I see is what I like - not love (love does not happen without knowing the deepest side of the person and accepting their weaknesses and strengths)

- There is someone in this world made for me. If this is not the one, its ok, I'll just have to wait for the right girl to come along.

- If her answer is no, I will accept it (accepting it means you will not be totally dejected and depressed, but will feel good that you tried to find out atleast. Yes it will hurt - but only a bit for a few days)

- By doing what I am planning to do, will I be breaking up a relationship which is otherwise sound and happy?

- If she is already in a 'good' relationship, and she breaks it up for me, it is possible that she is fickle minded and could do the same to me if a similar situation arose in future with her. Will I be ready to face and bear with it then?

Be positive, but also dont be in dreamland. As I said above, love just does not happen like that... If you like a person so much that you want to have her as your partner, and if all goes well and you get her, you will slowly but surely begin to find out about her weaknesses and strengths. You must know that the actual test of love will be when you learn to cope with each other and respect one another. And that takes a long long time. Sometimes too long. Good luck to you and I hope you get what you are looking for.

Answer 4

Hey I dont think you should ask her at all she is keeping you on the side until she makes up her mind its not right if you are clever you will move on and if she really wants you she will make the first move and tell you she wants you. dont let her mess with your head. She will keep putting you on hold if you do ask her because then she knows how much you want her. let her come to you not you run after her. personally i think is dumb if a guy runs especially if the chick is giving mixed signals. good luck with the decision you make

Answer 5

That would be low. Come on man be a player! If she is seeing someone else wait untill she's free. You're messing up the dude's plans. I don't think if you were seeing a girl you'd like someone interfering like that. It's a men international rule...
If she really wants to be with you she'll break up with him first.

Answer 6

ok don't dare u and ask that question cause she's going 2 kill u!!!!!!!! if she's really in love with her bf then try 2 forget her and if not go out with her as a friend of course but maybe she'll come 2 see that u have ''features'' that her bf doesn't have!!!!!!!! well i hope i've helped

Answer 7

are u sure they r not together? if they r, then better not to cuz it's like u r making them apart and are u sure she will feel the same way too? or she still cant get over her boyfriend. think twice before what u do. good luck :)

Answer 8

YUK! Get a clue man, and just start being real, and not planning what you're going to say. And this one is taken - go onto the next one.

Answer 9

i think u've taken alot into concideration but i think u shoul just come out wit it i no it must b though 4 ya but thats my answer. sorry if there r spelling mistakes

Answer 10

I'd say, "Woman, you need a man. I'm that man. Now make me dinner." This always works.