howd i get my 2yr old to sleep in his own room after me and his dad split?

Answer 1

be a parent and make him , its common for mothers to over indulge their kids after a break up . if you stop now no permanent damage will be done but if you wait until he's 3 nothing will teach him that he can't have everything his own way . a child needs authority and with the father gone you must be the one to give it . you are now the only influence in his life , he will be what you make him , be firm but fair and he'll respect you for it .

please note that silence is often understood by kids as the final word , if he comes into your room in the night just pick him up and put him back in his own bed , he'll soon find it boring .

Answer 2

hi
i've been reading some of the other answers and there's some really good advice there. i think Shane's is the best one there. getting up and putting the child back. I don't know if you've seen the House of Tiny Tearaways on BBC 3, but I've found it really useful for teaching me about parenting issues with my child and I'd really recommend it. they usually have someone on dealing with a sleep problem. I think I'd add that as you put the child back to bed, you're not supposed to talk to them - that they don't get the reward of intimacy with you by getting out of bed. You MAY need to do this thirty times in a night - but it should only take a couple of nights.

But all this aside, there's a more difficult and more painful question about how you feel about him? After a break up you need emotional support, I would imagine especially in the long dark hours of the night. When he goes to his own room, he's not the only person who will be sleeping alone. While you know it's best for him, it may feel painful and difficult for you. In the long run though, it is best for both of you, as it is not healthy for you to need your child. If another man comes along, you don't want a ten year child in your bed!! (as my sister-in-law has after my brother died nine years ago).

Taking the plunge may be hard now, but it'll only get harder.

hope this helps.

Chris.

Answer 3

Most important thing to do is show your child he can have imput and is a big boy/girl now.

Firstly, take them shopping and ask them to choose which bedding they want, even if you hate it, if they choose it, it is a reason for them to want to sleep there.

Then ask them what color to paint their room, give them a choice of lets say 5 colors (5 you like), this way they feel the room is theirs.

Once you do all this, I know it will work. There has been research done on this and no matter what you try to tell them at this age they just don't have the negotiation skills to understand, they need tactile things. What ever you do, do not stay with them till they fall asleep, you are creating a problem that will just get bigger. You will put them to sleep and then they will want you to read another book, then another story and on and on. Anything to keep you from leaving, before you know it, it will take 3 hours to get to sleep at night You will need to make them feel like this is their room and you are a visitor, ask them if you can come in and play with their toys with them, tell them the room is beautiful etc.

Good luck, I am sure you will do great.

Answer 4

I'll tell you my daughters system for bedtime. Everything leading up to and going to bed is a routine. Teatime is 6pm, followed by a short quiet playtime. Then comes a nice warm bath to relax her. Then as she is being dressed she is reminded that it is two stories then sleep time. After the first story she is reminded again that one more story then sleep. After finishing the second story she is kissed goodnight and told that she must stay in bed until the sun comes up to say hello. If she cries, her mother tells her that it is okay if she has a little cry, but then she must go to sleep. This seems to have worked for my daughter and there are no real bedtime dramas. Hope this helps

Answer 5

I went through a similar thing with my son when I got divorced. I would wake up throughout the night and he would be in bed with me. It took some time, but I finally found a solution. I would start the night by putting him into bed and staying with him until he was asleep. When he would get up and crawl into bed with me, I would get up, gently put him back in his own bed, and stay with him for a while until he was asleep. We would go through this 5-6 times a night, but after a couple of weeks, he began staying the whole night in his own bed. It's tough to do and it requires a lot of patients, but it can be done. In the long run it will be better for the both of you. Stick with it, and good luck!

Answer 6

For everyone's sake, with a lot of cuddles and understanding! Our 3yr old doesn't like sleeping alone, so we've bought a lightbulb that you can switch to a dull, glowing setting, that really helps him. They're easy to get hold of (ours was from Asda), and fit into standard lamp fittings, so much cheaper than buying a night light. Also, he fills his bed with loads of 'friends' (his soft toys), who keep an eye on him through the night.
Whatever you decide, don't rush it, don't get stressed, it will happen eventually!

Answer 7

Sometimes it helps to lay down with him for a short period, rub his back, play some soft lullaby. Right now, it sounds like a security thing to me, he wants to make sure that you're not going anywhere since daddy already did. Comfort and reassurance will eventually win the night, but it's also important to be consistent with your routine. To a young child, consistency is a form of comfort and will help tremendously. GOOD LUCK.

Answer 8

The problem is more complecated than you think.Your son has slept in your room for such a long time and it's not surprising he has decided it's like his own room.The boy probably feels great when he has all the attention and assurance of the parents' presence.When you leave him in his own bed he is probably scared and feels lonely.His feelings are justifiable but it's definitely not a reason to stay in your room anymore.This way you deprive him of acquiring one important thing - the ability to comfort himself without parents' assistance.It's all about what are you ready to do to change your son's habit.If you have decided that it's time for your son to sleep in his own room,carry him to his own bed tenderly but categorically.If your decision is categorical,you will feel every time when he tries to go back in your bed to sleep,you'll wake up.Tell him you are sure he would manage to fall asleep in his own bed.Hug him and go back to bed.Repeat these actions as often as they have to be repeated.This plan need a lot of patience.I recommend you to play with your son or tell him stories in his own roomduring day(without reminding him he will have to sleep there at night).If he perceives his own room as cosy and pleasant place he would be more willing to sleep there.
Get ready to sleep restlessly for a few nights until he gets used to the new rules.Your son will get used to sleep in his room although he will check your confidence and your feeling that "It is right!".
If you learn your son to sleep in his own room you won't do any mental traumas.Parents usually take this all harder than their kids do!The key to success is your own attitude to all this.If you are sure of the rightness of your decision you will manage to transfer this confidence to your son.On the other hand,if you feel anger,guilt or hesitation,your son will feel all it and will try to manipulate you,will demonstrate helplessness or something.The act of kindness and firmness is the key to effective upbringing.Don't think if you indulge children's multiple whims,you demonstrate your love.Children feel insecure if parents don't put strict rules.If you learn the boy how to sleep alone you will give him the chanse to cultivate one worth skill.

Answer 9

What rules say he has does not need to sleep in same bed as mother? Why is west so concerned putting them asleep in separate rooms?

From birth onwards we isolating our children, he has had a strong 9 months period with you, this is sacred. Enjoy this time together, you never get it again.

When he is with you, he will feel safe and not scared. He become confident, respect women, and will not do what your husband did to you.

We not know as culture how to eat, behave, raise children, etc. Think about this!

Answer 10

i understand your question, i am in same situation with my 3 yr old girl.
the awnser is to put them into their own bed, evry night, do all the kisses and the cuddles, and be strong though out the inevitable screaming.
After a few days it stops.
Honest, its just hard, especialy if you are alone. But be strong you can do it, eventualy you may want some one else in your bed,
some one who is not a child!