My ex girlfriend and I split up 3 and half years ago and there was serious suspicion that she had been with someone behind my back. She fell pregnant and had a daughter and convinced me that she was mine. Iwas over the moon and probably not thinking straight , I was there for the birth and treated her as my own. Her and I never got back together and she is now getting married. From the day my daughter was born I have looked after them both financially however when she met her new chap she decided to go to the CSA and obtain even more money from me, which in turn has stopped me seeing my daughter as it costs a fortune to go and see her. My daughter was supposed to be taking on my name but at the registration my ex changed her mind and said this could not be so, but alas i signed the papers anyway. If she is mine there are no worries , but i'm now in a steady relationship and moving forwards and it's unfair to her to look after a daughter financially that isn't mine aswell.
2006-08-30 20:06:23 · 7 answers · asked by Cyber Bob 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
you can get a dna done and if the child proves to be not yours then you will recieve only the money you paid through the csa,if the other payments were paid to your ex without a receipt im sorry you might not get that back as you have no proof.
2006-08-30 20:18:08 · answer #1 · answered by Don N 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to hear about your situation. You may be able to go to court to get a court order for a paternity test, but unless you can get legal aid it is likely to be expensive. If the child turns out not to be yours then, again, you may be able to apply to the court for an order to make your ex pay back the maintenance you paid directly to her. However, if she does not pay up the court is very unlikely to take any action as they will put the interests of the child first and this usually means that the mother should have the money, whether or not she was entitled to it is a secondary point. If the paternity test is negative you would be entitled to a refund of any money you may have paid directly to the CSA, as this would have been obtained under false pretences. It's sad and unfair, but as an unmarried father you have no automatic legal rights of access, in fact no automatic rights at all. You have to fight and pay for everything. Courts rarely force women to permit access to unmarried das, and it can cost up to £7,000 to take a case to court. And even if an access order is made in your favour it's not really enforceable if the mother refuses to comply, because any action taken against the mother would be seen as being detrimental to the interests of the child. So, you may get your money back if you paid it to the CSA but not if you paid it directly to her. Women are under no obligation to honour the father-child relationship and can ditch a bloke from the moment of conception onwards and just take the money, fully supported by the law. Remember, equal rights do not apply in practice in family law. It is based on the premise that women need to be protected from irresponsible and exploitative men; that women are all sugar and spice and Mother Knows Best. Write to your MP about legal rights for unmarried dads, it won't do any good but it'll give you an outlet for your angst. Getting angry with your ex will only give her ammunition to keep you away from your daughter, if she is yours. Stay cool, have a chat with a family lawyer, most will do a free half hour. Good luck.
2006-08-31 04:25:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have always filled the role of father emotionally. Often, legally speaking, you are considered to be her father even if you aren't biologically.
That said, if you have no relationship with the child due to distance, and you aren't the biological father, you can have a court stop payments, but not recover them unless you try to sue the biological father for the money (it has been tested, but I am not sure if it has been successful).
What worries me is that you have not once mentioned the well-being of the child in this. Imagine hearing "Daddy isn't your daddy anymore?"
Good luck with this, but I hope you can do what is right for everyone, not just your wallet.
2006-08-31 03:19:26 · answer #3 · answered by baggyk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is taking you through all these changes about you child and you felt that she may have been cheating on you.Right now you have a right to feel the way you do.But you may have to petition the court for this and the may ask why you took so long to do it.You need to do this as soon as you can before they garnish your wages.And if your name is on her birth certificate you may have a slight problem because the state may hassle you on it. If you ask for the DNA test and she is not your child you can sue the mother for the monies back for deceptions and lies.
2006-08-31 10:02:45 · answer #4 · answered by keishahayes2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pay your money and stop trying to get out of it.
if you think she not yours do what every other chav does in this country and go on Trisha or Jeremy kyle. if you pay you will be able to see her but one thing you must remember is all this is the child what the hell is going through her head
2006-08-31 06:05:12 · answer #5 · answered by moodycow 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, I think that you can. I hope that you haven't been suckered into paying child support for all of this time. It would be very sad though if she wasn't your child. Good luck.
2006-08-31 03:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by guineasomelove 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to go to a lawyer !
2006-08-31 03:14:27 · answer #7 · answered by Jo Jo Gunn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋