Is it ok for the parent of my son's classmate to scold him if my son and his son had a fight?

Question

My son is in the 1st grade and they had a fight with his classmate. The parent of his classmate went to their classroom and scold him. I had a conference with the teacher and I told her that it should not supposed to happen because the parent has no RIGHT to scold my son even if my son has done something bad(given the benefit of the doubt that my son started the fight). I believe that only us ( I and his Dad) and the teacher has the RIGHT to scold him if he has committed something that is bad; the teacher being the second parent if the child is in school. I also felt bad about this because I pity my son who haven't and can't do anything when the parent scold him.

Answer 1

I agree with you Nerissa 100%! If the parent has issues with your child, she should have talked to the teacher or to you directly. Best to have a meeting with that parent together with the school teacher.

Answer 2

When I was growing up and I did something wrong, believe me, neighbors would come out and scold my butt! My mom never got mad, she just asked me what I did wrong!!!

I say this - it isn't going to hurt your son to get scolded - it'll teach him to respect others and there are consequences to his actions. You shouldn't be all up in arms. I understand why you're mad. Things have changed and it's not socially acceptable to scold other people's children anymore, but my gosh, if no actual harm was done (meaning the other parent didn't curse or hit your child or cause mental anguish) get over it. If your son was wrong - your son was wrong. Take a breath, relax, get a different viewpoint of this situation and then take it up with the school, as they shouldn't have let the other parent scold your child.
Maybe your son learned something positive from this situation???

Answer 3

The important point is that the classmates parent did this in school. Teachers and other school officials are given certain rights to enforce discipline in school. They are also given the responsibility to aide and protect the children under their charge. This parent should have been stopped by an agent of the school.
I don't know where you are from, but in my school district, that parent could have been charged with trespass if not accompanied by a teacher.

If this occured outside the school however, I think we need to look at the big picture. If an adult sees children fighting and fails to say something about it, who are they helping. Sure it might ruffle some feathers, but I if my kids are in a fight that I don't know about, I hope someone tunes them up .

Answer 4

No. It is not okay for the other child's parent to scold your child. If this fight occured at school, than the other parent should have brought it to the administration's attention not taking it upon themselves to "discipline" someone else's child. What is a grown woman (i assume) doing "confronting" a 6 year old? That is in essence what happened because your child was defenseless. If I were you, I would file a complaint with the school that allowed this parent to come on school ground, into the classroom, to give your child a piece of her mind. I think there was a lapse of judgement on the school's behalf too.

Answer 5

Oh dear, Here we go again. The trouble with this country today is there are too many people being over protective to their children. Up until about the 1950s, if a child misbehaved, it could expect to be chastised by any adult who happended to be around at the time. This engendered respect for "one's elders and betters" which in turn led to better behaviour all round. Today, the blindness of some parents to the bad behaviour of their offspring will benefit nobody and in particular will lead to the child becoming unmanageable.

Answer 6

how often does your kid fight with this other kid??
He and the other child may have ongoing problems dealing with each other. Ask the teacher if this has happened before??
A sense of natural protectiveness I feel, caused the parent to yell at your child. Also if your child and the other child are having ongoing problems, it may of been frustration. If the role was reversed, you may have done the same.
As a mother myself, I have the ability to get almost insane with a (natural) protective reaction when someone hurts my child.
There are times when every mother (or father) feels like throttling another kid for insulting or hurting their child...
The right thing to do however is to bite their tongue and control themselves.
What the other parent did was wrong, because they did not control this reaction.

Answer 7

There is the old saying "It takes a Village to raise a child" which is very true. As long as he didn't hit your child, was abusive, or disrespectful why not scold your kid? He did something wrong, was caught, and someone called him on it. I think you're suffering more from the "embarrassment factor" because someone was doing your job. Maybe your son will think twice about getting into a fight next time.

Answer 8

I would have started WW3 had another parent come to the school and yelled at my child. I do believe that if it had happened while my child was visiting at a friends house and was misbehaving or fighting then the parent has full authority to discipline my child - as long as it doesn't become physicall. I would approach this childs parent and tell them where to get off the bus

Answer 9

That parent was in the WRONG.

The teacher SHOULD have stepped in and IMMEDIATELY STOPPED that parent NO MATTER WHAT!

I would demand a Teacher, Principal, BOTH SETS OF PARENTS conference!

If a parent SEES something happening then YES they can step in and stop it. BUT to go AFTER and yell at another CHILD other than their own. That is WRONG and should be brought up to the Principal and if necessary the School Board!

Answer 10

If another parent scolds my kid, that parent's gonna get it from me. You're right, only parents may scold their children. Teachers may by virtue of their being in school. But other parents? If he's a father, I'd challenge him for a roll on anywhere. If she's a mother... see you at the nearest police precinct.

Answer 11

Was this a physical fight or just an argument.I think that parents should stay out of their children's arguments I feel that they will have a hard time learning social skills and excepting others short comings if they are not allowed to settle differences on their own.If it was physical then each parent should talk to their own child.