I'm not mad at him, and his little girl with the other woman is an adorable seven-year old. I even like her mother. My question is, should I try to be a mother figure to my husband's daughter, or should I stay away from that and just be a friend to her? Help me please. Thank you.
2006-08-30 20:00:37 · 35 answers · asked by Special nobody 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
from what I see and hear being a step is no easy task..... each situation is different.... and depends on you and the child.... take it slow...... get to know her first..... do special things with her, get to know her likes and dislikes....... what makes her smile...... etc........ she is young and new...... bring into your circle of family step by step.... let her feel her way...... she has a lot of things to come to terms with..... help her by talking to her, reassure her that her place in the family is secure and she is welcome in your home......... the rest will take care of itself....... God bless
2006-08-30 20:06:22 · answer #1 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
um, didn't you already say she had a mother?
you cannot replace her mother. the only way you should be "a mother" is if your husband has some sort of joint custody or visitation where shes going to be seeing you two a lot. in that case, she should call you by your FIRST name (not mom or mama) and treat her like you would your own kids.
if you didnt know about her, chances are your husband doesnt have a relationship with her and he wont be having her around too long. so you dont need to worry.
2006-08-30 20:08:40 · answer #2 · answered by V for Vendetta 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My exhusband's wife is a great step-mother. I am grateful that she is there for my son while he is there for the summer. It is not easy for a kid to be away from their mother, and the more support a child gets the better. I have found that old saying true "It takes a village to raise a child". You should do what you feel is best for the three of you. Do what you are comfortable and she is comfortable with. You may just be friends at first, but it may grow later. sometimes these things take time. good luck with your decision.
2006-08-30 20:06:59 · answer #3 · answered by singitoutloudandclear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The daughter has a mother already. Be a friend of course. But there will be time when she is over for a visit that you will have to lay down the law of your household. That will require some parenting skills. Its still your house and you should be respected.
2006-08-30 20:16:53 · answer #4 · answered by Madness_75 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The little girl already has a mother the best thing you can do is support the relationship between your husband and his daughter and yes be a friend to her but don't be to pushy remember its about whats best for the little girl!
2006-08-30 20:10:29 · answer #5 · answered by Sandra 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How sweet you are wanting to be a mother ... however she has a mother. If you try to be a "mother figure" to her the mother may get upset. So just be sweet and kind and a good friend to the little girl. She will grow to love you and the mother will respect you. :)
Good Luck
2006-08-30 20:07:04 · answer #6 · answered by Milisa G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow you are really ok with it, well i guess i have to be too, since he revealed it himself the secret instead of you finding out one day.
Just be the wife of your husband, not a friend not a mother of the child. yeah its confusing, but hey the girls mother is alive right, and you seem to be at peace the mother. so just be a wife to your husband. i mean its his child also right, no harm to grow close to the child but not too motherly or too best friend.
you will find the balanced.
2006-08-30 20:06:31 · answer #7 · answered by budaklolo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes,stay away from trying to be a mother, because she already has one. Just be a very good friend to her and tell her that you love her.
2006-08-30 20:03:42 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't be too motherly to her since she has a mother, but care for her and be like a STEP in mother, meaning treat her with respect and always look out for her best interests. I am a step mother. assist your hubby. that is good you like the mother, it makes things easy
2006-08-30 20:37:17 · answer #9 · answered by i love my sexy hubby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start out trying to be her friend and then work from there. Should you ever start feeling resentful of this situation, don't let her know. That should be reserved for your husband becasue if he has known about this child this whole time, then he should have told you sooner.
Don't worry about it; you'll do fine.
Good luck!
2006-08-30 20:12:48 · answer #10 · answered by Angie P. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start off at being friends. Never try and replace the other girl's mother.
2006-08-30 20:03:51 · answer #11 · answered by boneslane1962 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋