My nephew lives with me and drives me up the wall, what do I do?

Question

My nephew is 16 years of age and lives with me. His mother refuses to let him move back in his own house. Everytime he goes home to stay the night, he and my brother-in law get into a big fight and my nephew ends up back over here. What do I do to stop this?

Answer 1

Tell your sister that you simply aren't going to take him in anymore, then tell him the same thing. Change the locks

Answer 2

Have you considered that perhaps the mother is at fault for allowing this to happen? Wait a minute! Is that the boy's father or his mother's husband or boyfriend or lover?... the adult has failed to recognize that he is competing with a minor, a child! His ego and his manhood are thhreated by a young boy going through adolescent hormonal changes that are difficult enoughn for any boy in a loving home!

Listen, this kid is suffering. "Kick his a s s" ain't the answer. How about counseling to determine what the root of the problem is for the boy? Isn't it better to resolve the problem than let him grow up with it where he can only get into trouble as a result of his emotional problems and have a troubled life?

That boy is probably crying out for attention, affection and love. What is the matter with everyone? Are you all stupid and blind?

It's so easy to say, "Kick his a s s or get him a job..." but, what about doing the right thing? I was in the same predicament and I left home at 15 (today I'm 59) and never went home. My mother soon realized that I was not the problem but it was her husband who also started finding problems with my older brother... too late for her to make peace with me; I've never gone back and I refuse to communicate with them!

A mother's first priority is her child, not her husband or boyfriend or lover... those come and go easily and quickly enough. She's betrayed her own flesh and blood!

Answer 3

First let's assume that when your nephew is at his parent's house he's the one who starts the fight. You could tell him that if he wants to continue living with you he needs to follow certain rules and quit the bouncing back and forth because that's not doing any good for anyone. If your brother-in-law starts the fights then you should keep your nephew as far away from his parents as you can because he doesn't need that right now. It's hard to give better advice without know more about the situation. Good luck to all of you!

Answer 4

First of all does your nephew work if not that should give you a clue as why his mother won't let him stay with her. If you don't put your foot down now you'll be asking this same question in 5 years. Put him in an all boys school like Glenwood Home for Boys. I had to do this with my oldest son and it helped plenty. The best thing they go by your income so you might not have pay much at all. Good Luck Been There!!!!!!!

Answer 5

"Stop being a hotel room!" Step up to the plate and
give him a "Ultimatum" Either he abides by your
rules "or" he,s out!"
"It is your house is,nt it?" Allright stop the nonsense
And tell him that if him and your "Brother In Law \
can,t get along that "It,s time look into trying to
resolve this problem "by" simply start taking some
responsibility for hi,s behavior problems!
"I,m not a counselor "And" i personally don,t know your
brother-in-law;" But on the contrary the reasons why they seem to not get along could simply mean because this "Nephew" of yours is going through some "Rebellious"
stages of being a teenager. "Try sitting down and asking
why this seems to be a problem for him; "If he refuses
The only thing i can tell you is try to get this boy some
counseling."

Answer 6

Well decide if you want to be there for him or not. If you do, then you have to take this young man under your wing; unfortunately, the parents are not. You need to contact a counselor for YOU since he's not your kid but you are being his parental figure. You need to know how to deal with a teenager - the right way so he doesn't end up all messed up in the head b/c his parents are idiots and aren't doing their job!

I'm not trying to be soft on this kid, you need rules and all that, but it sounds like you're not sure if you want to be in the role you're playing. Answering that question is your first step.

Answer 7

Let your nephew admire you. Just bear with it. I was cruel to my lil' brother and it hurt him very much once we were adults and actually talked about it. Let him hang out once in awhile, when appropriate but teach him that there are age appropriate things that that everyone needs to be alone or with peers. Treat him like a son, or lil' brother or as if wish you were treated and he'll turn out alright.
PS - treat him this way whether he is straight or gay and he'll be ok

Answer 8

well your brother in law is supposed to be the grown up, just look back and remember how it was when you were 16, be his friend see what he is angry about and relay to your sister and tell your brother in law to be a man and accept his responsibility but dont shut out your nephew he probably needs you more then you know....

Answer 9

you do not say what the prob is... is he a troubled teen..... getting into messes or in trouble with the law ?? what is the prob ?? first, you need to tell mom and dad to straight up get help..... start acting like parents and not teens themselves.... fighting with a teen does nothing..... laying down the rules and sticking to them is the key for raising teens...... by him going home, it sounds to me as if, he wants or needs to be there...... so stick your nose in farther and talk to these ppl....... they made it your business when the nephew came to live with you..... so go the extra mile and get to the bottom of the issue....... God bless

Answer 10

Force them ALL to go to family counseling. Every person in the situation has a reason for behaving in the way that they do. Counseling will bring out the truth, therefore, open the door to healing.