2006-08-30 19:27:02 · 21 answers · asked by boxergirl 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Life is full of emotions like laughing, smiling, crying, weeping, fear, hatred, jealousy and many more. Out of all these, laughing is loved and liked by all. That is why someone has rightly said, “ You laugh and the world will laugh with u, you weep and u shall weep alone.” Sometimes, life becomes monotonous and one starts getting bored. To remove such monotonousness and boredom, I feel that surfing on the following websites can be helpful in making one cheerful, refreshen up and gain some emotional or psychological energy too. Surf on them and see how helpful these are to u to bring a smile on ur face.
http://www.comedycentral.com/jokes/index.jhtml
http://www.ahajokes.com/
http://www.the-jokes.com/
http://www.lotsofjokes.com/
http://www.jokesgallery.com/
http://www.workjoke.com/projoke.htm
http://www.jokes2000.com/
http://yahooligans.yahoo.com/content/jokes/
http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/
http://www.kidsjokes.co.uk/
http://www.ahajokes.com/yo_mama_jokes.html
http://www.allfunnypages.com/funny-jokes/yo-mama-jokes/funny-yo-mama-jokes.htm
http://www.africanjokes.com/africanjokes/?id_category=98
http://www.blonde-jokes.info/
http://www.zelo.com/blonde/index.asp
http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/Entertainment_and_Arts/Bollywood/
Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..
2006-09-02 03:37:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
A man believes is wife is cheating on him so he goes to the pet store to buy a talking parrot. The man sees 2 parrots on a perch that are $300 and one sitting on a seperate perch for $75. The man asks the sales person "why are these 2 parrots $300 and the other $75?" The sales person explains that the $75 parrot doesn't have any feet. The man asks how he is able to sit up on the perch. The sales person explains that the parrot has a long penis and wraps it around the poll. To the man decides okay I will buy him.
He takes the parrot home and tells him he must watch the house and tell him what his wife does while he is at work. The parrot agrees.
When the man gets home he asks the parrot what happend. The parrot begins..."Shortly after you left a man came here. He and your wife sat on the couch and talked...then they began to kiss"...The husband began to flustered and asked the parrot" THEN WHAT HAPPEND". and the parrot began..."well then they began to undress ....and then they began to rub on each other." the parrot paused.....The husband was furious and said "Don't stop ...what happend next..tell me tell me..!" and the parrot said " I don't know what happend next...I got a hard on and fell off my perch".
Hope that was a funny one.
2006-09-05 08:06:12 · answer #2 · answered by { Me } 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went.
She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went
dancing and drinking on Saturday nights. Whenever the woman went onto
the dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof
is
on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn!" The crowd on the dance floor would always
cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would
make the parrot yell even more and of course make the crowd go wild.
This
would go on all night long, everytime the parrot went out.
One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the
choir stand with her.
And when the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, "The roof, the
roof,
the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn!
Burn, muthafukkah, burn! She embarrassingly corrected the parrot,
"No, you don't say that here!!"
The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same
muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!!!..
2006-09-03 08:06:10 · answer #3 · answered by Utd4Life 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.
During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.
"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."
2006-08-31 08:13:13 · answer #4 · answered by Paradox3883 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A man escapes from a prison where he had been kept for 15 years.
As he runs away, he finds a house and breaks into it, looking for money and guns, but only finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him up in a chair. While tying the girl up to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her
on the neck, then gets up, and goes to the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail, and hasn't seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, just do what he tells you, just give him satisfaction.
This guy must be dangerous, if he gets angry, he'll kill us.
Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds, "He was not kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear.
He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we kept any Vaseline in the bathroom.
Be strong, honey, I love you, too."
2006-09-06 17:13:39 · answer #5 · answered by ravi_khanna234 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A man walks into a talent agency with his dog and tells the guy at the desk that I have an act that you must see.
The talent scout says sounds interesting what does your dog do?
The man says I have a talking dog allow me to do our act
O.K. Rover how does sandpaper feel?
The dog barks ruff ruff
Then the man asks his dog what's on top of a house?
The dog barks "roof"
The talent scout is giving the man a strange look
The man then asks his dog who was the greatest baseball player that ever lived?
The dog barks "Ruth"
The talent scout has had enough and throws them out of his office.Then the dog says"perhaps i should have said Dimaggio"
2006-09-07 10:18:30 · answer #6 · answered by dishwasher67 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Microsoft Works
2006-09-05 12:55:30 · answer #7 · answered by sasukexsakura4ever 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A young lady is at the course taking golf lessons,after an hour or so of instruction she goes out to play a round.Almost immediately she gets stung by a bee,she races back to the clubhouse and announces that she was stung,the pro asks;where did you get stung mam? She answers,between the 1st and 2nd hole! He then says hon,I think your stance is too wide!
2006-09-07 16:24:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
JUST GOT THIS ON ANOTHER QUESTION tHOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE IT.
would you go to this doctorfor help?
a doctor had the reputation of helping couples increase the joy in their sex life, but always promised not to take the case if he felt he could not help them. Mr. and Mrs. adams went to see the doctor, and he gave them thorough physicals exams, psychological exams, and various tests and then concluded, 'yes, I am happy to say that I believe I can help you. on your way home from my offices stop at the supermarket and by some grapes and some donuts. go home, take off your clothes, and, you, sir, roll the grapes across the floor until you make a bull’s-eye in your wife’s love canal.
then on hands and knees you must crawl to her like a leopard and retrieve the grape using only your tongue. then next, ma'am, you must take the donuts and from across the room, toss them at your husband until you make a ringer around his love pole. then like a lioness, you must crawl to him and eat a donut.'
the couple went home and their sex life improved out of sight. they told their friends, Mr. and Mrs. rainard, that they should see the good doctor. The doctor greeted the rainards and warned he would not take the case unless he felt that he could help them; so he conducted the physical exams and the same battery of tests.
Then he told the rainards the bad news. ‘I cant help you, so I will not take your money. I believe your sex lie is as good as it will ever be. I’m sorry.’
The rainards pleaded with him, and said, ‘you helped our friends, now please, please help us.’
‘well, okay,’ the doctor said. ‘on your way home from the office, stop at the supermarket and buy some apples and a box of fruit loops…’
2006-09-07 16:11:33 · answer #9 · answered by shodan 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, an honest lawyer and a tramp was walking down the street when they spy $10 on the ground.
Who picks it up and why?
A: The tramp. The others are imaginary characters!
2006-08-30 19:54:16 · answer #10 · answered by Judy H 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋