For military families of deployed personnel...?

Question

No one knows how tough it is to run a household and survive like a military spouse...
Single parents KNOW they have no option...but a military spouse of a deployed service person has a better half...that is away indefinately...
How do you keep going, what do you tell yourself that helps you hold out and survive the tough times?

Answer 1

I am a Military wife of a SFC Soldier in Iraq. With 3 little girls to raise it is not easy on either of us for him to be away for a year at a time. I am lucky this time, my hubby works with a computer now instead of front lines like his last 3 deployments were. This way we email all day and then we IM each other at night. He knows where I am,what I am doing more than anyone,at all times! If I have a problem he is right there at my laptop. My parents are close by too,and so If I need a sitter they are happy to help. I have our pictures all over the home,and bought a charm bracelet with memory charms of places we go together or things we have done. Scrapbooking is great,and the kids like helping with that. It does get tough,and if you don't have friends or family close by sometimes then it can really bring you down. The FRG {Family Readiness Group} is a wonderful place to meet Military moms.wives and have activities tp keep you busy. I love my hubby and we all just count down the days until he is home!! Nov. 15th his Freedom flight pulls into the airport!! Hooah!

Answer 2

This is an excellent question. My soldier isn't deployed right now, but has been 3 times. He's currently a Drill Sergeant. Trust me, he works so many hours, it's like he's not here.

To keep going, I stay busy. I'm always involved with our daughter, but I do moreso when he's deployed. That way, neither of us feels him being gone as much. We stick by a routine. There's one thing I've learned with deployments, if it can go wrong - it WILL go wrong!! His last deployment, we had a car break down, our freezer went out with over $500 worth of food in it and our daughter was attacked by a friends dog. I don't know how to describe it. It's just something that comes from deep down in you. I think it's a certain strength that all good military wives have. You just have to pull yourself back up. For me, it's ALL about him knowing that everything is fine here at home. That way, he's not worried and he can focus on his mission. If we're upset, then so is he. We don't hide "bad" from him, we just tell him that we've handled it and all's well because it usually is. I'm NOT holier than thou, but I believe in God. At the hardest times, I know he's there with me to help guide me. Praying gives one such strength and a connection to the loved one deployed. You also rely on friends and family. They're the ones that you look forward to seeing or hearing from when you're alone.

I love being an Army wife. It's been a tough life, but it's been a good life. I love my soldier more now than I did when I married him. I cherish each day we have together. The love, trush, honesty and all that is what keeps you going.

Thanks for the question!!

Answer 3

You just do.....If you fall apart there is no one there to pick up the pieces. You take it one second, one minute, one hour...one day at a time. You have to learn to have no expectations. For example do not expect your service member to call on holidays, birthdays, or anniversaries. That way if they cannot you aren't let down or disappointed. Then again if they do get the opportunity to call it is a WONDERFUL surprise. My husband although currently deployed has still managed to send me flowers on our anniversary...and several other occasions just to let me know he was thinking of me. I never expect them, and they usually came when I REALLY needed them.

You get into a routine...and stick with it. Get involved with the Family Readiness Group. Talk to other spouses....nobody really knows how you feel except another Military spouse. If you have children you are even busier than usual as you are playing the role of both Mother and Father. You go visit family if you live may hundreds of miles away from them as I do from mine.

As for what do I tell myself....I tell myself...."This isn't forever"...."I can do anything for a year"....."you can do it!" I say a lot of prayers daily. I have found a strength within myself I had no idea I possesed until I became a Military spouse.

I stay away from the news. Try not to jump out of my skin when the doorbell rings unexpectedly. Get out of the house everyday...which is hard with a 4 year old and 7 month old. But we definately do 5 days a week. Take some "me" time. (hence my answering your question at 1:45 in the morning...)

There are so many other things I do...I could go on forever but this should give you an idea of how I get through the many separations my husband and I have endured. Thank goodness the current deployment is just about over for my husband. I am so PROUD of him, all our troops and their families!

Answer 4

I do not have family deployed, but I am very good friends with a couple who is encountering this right now. He is over in Iraq, and she is here at home. He is due home any day now after a year of service over there, but she has told me the best way that she has been able to hold on has been to just pray to God, and have faith that her husband is will be safe because he is in the Lord's hands, and protected from all evil. They are a strong Christian couple, he is on top of being a solider, a Pastor. He is also a fervent prayer warrior, and they talk as often as possible; and email as often as possible.

I honestly believe that prayer and faith in God during times like these help anyone, and any couple because of the awesome example they have both set. She has gotten sad, I can tell...but she is always speaking positive and keeping good spirits because she chooses to. It is all a matter of choice.

Answer 5

i am sure it is equally hard on the other person, the person who is deployed in the arm pit of the world, missing his family, not getting to see his children grow, missing birthdays, anniversarys. Know their are people all around you who want you dead. No support from the crappy country you are in, and not really knowing why you are there in the first place. So with all due respect, suck it up. You knew what you were getting into in the beginning. And you have to stay strong because your spouse has enough to worry about.

Answer 6

I've been in ten years and my wife understands why I'm gone. She is very strong and independent too! The spouse has to be able to take care of his or her self. Have to teach evrything from cutting the grass to the finances. Cause God forbid anything happen you have to know they'll be ok.

If it gets ruff missing them and all...there are support groups, and the one my wife and I feel works the best is church. E-mail morale calls home, all of that can help. It's hard on both but you have to be strong for each other and understand why were there and not listen to the media. I dont know if this is you or just a question but talking with someone who has been there in your shoes helps. Keep the faith and god bless.

Answer 7

I am personally going through that right now. I am with the most wonderful man that is serving overseas and will be for the next year, he has only been gone 3 weeks. You just have to tell yourself that no matter what your oppinion is on what is going on that you will be strong for that person. We have a 3 year old so I talk to her all the time about daddy and we look at pictures. I tell myself that this won't last forever and he will be home! You just have to take one day at a time, then one week, and so on. To me my love is much stronger, and I know there would be noone that would ever be able to take his place!

Answer 8

Your spouse maintains, secure in the knowledge that their soldier/sailor/airman/marine is the most well trained, well equipped,well motivated of any country's military. They (the spouses at home) tell themselves that even though their husband or wife is going into harm's way, they are doing it for a greater reason. A reason that is not apparent to all but a reason that has sent our military to deployments to cover all sorts of aggression and insurgency.


https://www.infantry.army.mil/videos/video22/index.htm


Check out this link.......maybe this is the answer for you

Answer 9

it somewhat is stated as area A and is part of the Air stress's Air Mobility Command. After the airplane has taken on real shipment and passengers, if there are any open seats on the airplane, they'll enable human beings on board so as of priority. advert workers on Emergency leave getting first dibs, advert on usual leave next, then kinfolk and retirees. That being suggested... in spite of if or no longer he will have the skill to GET on a flight will very much count on a extensive variety of facters.. like what base is he finding to fly out of, the place is he finding to circulate, how many times flights leave and this type of flight it particularly is(MEDEVAC Flight vice shipment vice transport run) you could no longer verify in for area A until you're on leave. you are going to be able to wind up spending days or longer waiting to get on a flight. So except he has a lot of leeway and can cope with to pay for to incur all the charges jointly as waiting(in one day keeps to be in hotels, nutrition, etc) and you regularly continuously continuously might desire to have a backup plan to come again until now your leave expires. Going UA isn't a sturdy ingredient, and his Boss won't care that it became using fact he could no longer get a return slot on area A.

Answer 10

It is just simply something that you just get through .. you get support from your family and friends.. You reach out to your soldier when they are deployed so they know how loved they are .. you send communication back and fourth and you never forget how much that person means to you.

When they return home safe and sound - its such a huge blessing.

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brillant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel