They had their baby and can't take care of it.?

Question

My brother-in-law and his wife just delivered baby number 2. They haven't figured out how to take care of baby #1 yet. Social services is chasing them in three states, they live in a world of complete filth. The only times my nephews get a bath is when they come to my house. We even buy their diapers. I went there yesterday and there was garbage everywhere, the baby was in a dirty diaper and the older one had trashed the house (so they claim). It's been this way since baby #1 except my hubby and I took care of him until they ran from Social Services. I want to call, but I know if I do, I won't see my nephews because they will run again. I've tried to teach proper parenting skills to both of them, even showed them how to bath and feed the children, but once I"m gone, nobody does it and the kids are neglected. I need some serious help in deciding what to do. I already have 5 of my own and can't afford 2 more, but my heart says I'll find a way and they'd be better off with us.

I should add that I work with Social Services, I know how the system works. With so many open cases against them, they will take the children. However, prior to doing that, once the initial investigator shows up, a family is usally allowed 24 hrs to make necessary changes. When they are given that time, that's when they pack up and leave. Unfortunately, they know the system too!

My immediate supervisor at work already knows of the situation. Only she isn't aware that the situation is worse than it was. I continue to go there on a daily basis, and I've suggested taking the children until they can get their act together, but they won't hear of it. I've done follow up on their other cases in AL, IL, and SC and it's not abuse, just neglect cases so they aren't deemed high risk.

Answer 1

If it were me, I would try to get legal custody even if I couldn't afford more children. I realize you having 5 children of your own is quite an enormous task but really, when you think about it, could you really afford them? Technichally, logistically, no... but you manage. I agree with you, you will find a way and they would be better off with you. Being low income doesn't mean loveless and neglected children any more than being rich means the children are loved and cared for. Your nephews would be better off with you.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry about you and your nephews' situation. Since you work for social services, you probably know better than I do, but I'll give you my thought on this anyway and maybe it can help somehow. Is there a way to get a court order or something to have the 24 hour period skipped since they have a history of running every time? Maybe if you go to the police instead of social services, something can be done.
I think you have to do whatever is in your power to have those boys taken away from them before something bad happens. I'm sure you will be able to find a way to do it. They really shouldn't be that much more of a financial burden, especially since you are already the one buying their diapers. You should even be able to receive some assistance since you will be a foster mother.
I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 3

I can sense that you genuinely want to help your nephews. They do need your help, and you know that. So think for and do the right thing for the kids - they're innocent. They deserve to have a decent life; but by the sounds of it, your nephews are definitely not having one with their own parents.

Every time I hear stories about adults neglecting their own children, or hurting them, or abusing them in any way or form; it really upsets me immensely! Why the heck do these people have children, and continue to keep having children, if they're not going to be responsible parents??

Children are innocent - they never asked to be born. Those so-called "adults" made a decision to bring a new life to the world, and they have a duty and responsibility to make sure that this life would be taken care of - PROPERLY. I honestly think there ought to be tougher punishments for these adults, or I should say "bullies", in our system. Our system is not protecting the kids. If third-parties don't step in to intervene - who else can help these kids? They don't know who to turn to, or even how to get help. Heavens, they may not even know they need help!

In my eyes, it's criminal what these adults put their kids through. They know kids don't know any better, that the kids are weaker than they are, that the kids need them no matter what. And the part that makes this all so sickening is that fact that all of these are true.

If you don't help your nephews, who will?

Answer 4

As I a social worker with Social Services you know what I am going to say. You need to call because you need to think of the children first. In California CPS (Child Protective Services) will take the children into protective custody on the same day they investigate. If you know that they are going to run can you call and report and let them know that they are on the run so they can take preventive measures? I know alot of people will not agree with what I am telling you but this is about the kids and their need to be protected and be given the opportunity to live in a safe atmosphere. Could you live with yourself if something happened to them? CPS usually tries to place with family first, you already know this. Good Luck and do that which your heart tells you to. It's a tough decision but the childrens needs and safety need to come first. You are a mandated reporter do you know what could happen to you if your employer found out??

Answer 5

Well, you have a big problem and dilemna. I think you should put the welfare of the kids first and foremost and with a record like they have, why would SS even give them that 24 hours to change their ways? It is sad that this is happening, but if anything bad happened to your nephews, would you ever forgive yourself? Act now and hope that the boys are put into the care of someone who can love them and give them a healthy home to live in. Personally, I would take them in myself, even if I had 10 kids already, but understand if you just can't do that.

Answer 6

well is there a way that you can ask to have the kids for a couple days.. show the kids as they are to social services.. take pictures or something.. and see if you can take the kids out of town without the parents knowing so they can go to the house and they should not take off without the kids so there can be charges against them. i can't afford to take my niece and nephew but i got temp custody of them because of my brother and sister in law. believe me them poor kids do not deserve them parents.. sometimes money is tight but it is well worth it in the long run.

Answer 7

even though it is not the kids fault about their living condition they should not have to suffer if you can give them a better home, as their aunt you should. if you truly work for the system then you know our chrildren don't have a chance.. Society is not providing our foster kids with the tools they need for survival.. but as their aunt you can show them a better way of life.. if you have 5 chrildren of your own, i hope you are not a single parent but if you do live in a 2 family home help those children because they need you, and they love their aunt..their is no better gift other than family. you are there best chance at success.good luck

Answer 8

Call Social Services IMMEDIATELY
Call Protective Services IMMEDIATELY
Explain the situation in DETAIL to them!!!
File for Guardianship of your nephews!

Answer 9

I would anonymously call and without releasing information tell them the story- minus names. Basically, say 'what should someone do.....if you know the kids are just going to be moved to worse conditions'. I would think that they'd get a police to guard the place for a night. I know my dad is an officer and has had to do that before.

Answer 10

I would say you can either put some up for adoption, so they can be in a better and loving home or you can ask your relatives if they'd be willing to take care of their children for awhile. It's so that they have time to settle down and get everything under control.