Another one about people butting into what you tell your kids...?

Question

WHY do people think it is OK for them to do this? At a SubWay today my son asked for a cookie and I said no but the guy behind the counter is like "Aww, c'mon Mom, let him have one". Dude, shut your damn mouth and mind your business.

By the way, I know it sounds cheap but I just moved from FL to NC and I am trying to save money so I figured I would buy a whole pack of cookies for $2 (the store is in a Wal-Mart) instead of two cookies for $1 or whatever it is.

Yeah I wouldn't get that mad if people didn't do this all the time. It's rude.

Yeah I was using my food stamps so I could use the rest of my $ to pay my car pmnt for my '06 Cadillac CTS. That's what you get when you know how to budget your $ loser.

OMG you are an idiot! I am NOT on food stamps, I was being sarcasitic but I do have a new Cadillac :)

Answer 1

You should've smacked that guy. Seriously. This reminded me of a Scrubs episode, though:

Dr. Cox, Jordan, and baby Jack are having a little family time on a blanket.
A woman pushes a stroller containing her own child over to them.

Mother: Hi, cutie! Since you have so many balls, and too many toys can be over-stimulating for an infant, Brantley here was wondering if he could borrow one to play with!

Dr. Cox: Oh, that's funny, because Jack here was just wondering why the crazy lady who just spent the last hour chain smoking and talking on her cell phone while her kid ate sand would come over to two complete strangers and give them parenting advice!

Jordan: Oh, oh! He also thanked me for not naming him "Brantley"!

Answer 2

No not really. People do that all the time.
I'm going to guess you are a younger mom??
For some reason people feel the need to butt in when you are younger. Next time politely say to the guy, with a slight sarcastic laugh, "mom said no", and walk away.
Don't let it bug you, no matter where you go you'll always run into idiots. Like the guy making a comment about food stamps, nice response by the way.
:)

Answer 3

In this case, the guy behind the counter may have been trying to promote a sale, rather than offering parenting advice. In my opinion, both are annoying, and the best response is a very chilly "Thank you for taking an interest, but I make my own decisions."

Answer 4

I actually think you are completely right! A few weeks ago my son was crying for a donut and I kept telling him no and some lady went and bought one and brought it to him! It wasn't that I didn't want to pay the stupid fifty cents! Donuts are just pure fat and sugar and I choose not to let my child have that. I couldn't believe someone would do that though. People need to realize that parents have reasons for telling their children no, ESPECIALLY when it comes to food or sweets. I totally agree with you. And also, you are right about the $$$ thing. I think it is a valuable lesson to teach your child that hey for the same price, you can get 20 cookies...

Answer 5

I agree. This is highly annoying, and very rude. Anyone who undermines a parent's authority like that when a parent is actually teaching their child how to behave or teach them a value likely has a brood of brats at home who can't control themselves in public. We see enough of them each time we go to the grocery store!

Answer 6

I always just laugh and say, "Fine...then a half hour from now when he's on a sugar high, I'll bring him back for YOU to take care of."
Regardless of the reason for saying no, it reminds people who is in charge.
People will always try to butt in. If you get upset everytime it happens, you'll constantly be miserable.

Answer 7

I agree, when parents are showing their children discipline and restraint, others need to respect this. Next time a clerk says that to you, ask if they are offering it free of charge. If not, tell them very directly not to tell you how to spend YOUR money.

It is when people's children are running all over the place and disturbing my peace when I speak up. But I would never interfere with a parent declining to buy something.

Answer 8

Amy,

While it seems rude to you, there is no rule book that says which exact phrases are rude and which are not, and people don't feel the same about some things. Rude is in the eye of the beholder. And people from different cultures have WAY different ideas about what's rude!

If *I* had said that to you, I would have meant it as a tiny little teasing way to attempt to connect with another person. That, and nothing more! Sort of like showing that we all know what it's like to have kids wanting things we're not going to give them.

So your attitude, "Dude, shut your damn mouth and mind your business." (I'm sure you only thought that.) is what turned a little friendly nod into someone trying to tell you how to parent. It was rude to you, but not to him. (I mean, maybe. I don't know what he was thinking, but I know what *I* would have been thinking, had I said it.)

So the way to help it stop making you angry is to try to remember that people view the world through very different glasses, and to try to cut everybody a little slack, and assume miscommunication instead of bad intent, at least until bad intent is proven.

SOME people certainly want to ruin everybody's day, but MOST people just want to share a smile and a moment with the strangers they meet.

Being a person who says little things to strangers, I know for sure that I've occasionally offened someone with absolutely no intention of doing so! (More often, I've gotten to know just a little about their grandma or something.) Since chasing down those who gave me dirty looks and trying to explain would only make it worse, I've explained it to you.

Answer 9

I like the way you handled it and it pisses me off, too. We may be disciplining our kids by not letting them have a treat. Listen, if we needed parenting advice we would not be going to Subway to get it. Shut up, wipe your nose, pull your d*** britches up and sell me the sandwich. End of story.

Answer 10

If you have a new cadillac then you could afford the cookies