2006-08-30 17:36:14 · 23 answers · asked by poogie2373 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You married him, you deal with him.
2006-08-30 17:38:52 · answer #1 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Explain the problem with your gyn and ask for suggestions for more comfortable positions. Have your doctor speak to your husband and explain what might be better for you.
Then get yourself some medical treatment so you don't have your life and your marriage ruined by this back pain.
THEN insist that you and your husband go into marital counseling to find out why you can't stand up for yourself and say no, and why he feels its ok to have sex with you without your consent.
2006-08-30 18:28:55 · answer #2 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You and your husband should discuss this together with your doctor. Perhaps the doctor will have some suggestions as to alternate positions, etc. Or perhaps at least the doctor can explain to your husband that it's going to be necessary for him to do without sex until your back stabalizes.
If your husband won't go to the doctor with you, then you should disucss it with the doctor without him being present and maybe he/she will have suggestions.
IMO, your husband should understand that you are in pain during sex, and should be considerate enough to wait until your back can handle it. But if not, at least maybe the doc could help him understand.
2006-08-30 17:50:07 · answer #3 · answered by Rose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like someone who is very self-centered. Men are that way at times. I'm sure he knows that you are in pain, he just doesn't care when he wants what he wants. This is a pivotal moment for you. Let him know AGAIN that it is too painful for you and EXPLAIN the kind of pain you are in and if he still doesn't get it, at least you know what type of man you really married and you have to start making some serious decisions about what you need in your life. We all get old if we keep living, you want someone that will understand that you wont be able to do all the things that you use to when you were younger. I'm sure when he gets sick or doesn't want to do something your expected to understand, why shouldn't that rule apply to you? I think it should.
2006-08-30 17:45:09 · answer #4 · answered by Queen J 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Guys NEED sex (or masturbation) . Its like... eating/sleeping to them. Lack of sex can lead to depression, tension, stress and hormonally induced "poor judgment". (Like when you're on a diet for a long time, and that delicious piece of cake keeps calling to you.)
I think sex is a function that guys just have a very strong need to do. Its in their DNA. The poor brutes ^_-
You should seriously ask your doctor what they recommend as possible options (surgery, meds etc). You shouldn't settle for just "living" with pain and no lovelife. That's not good for you either!
I'm sure your husband knows you're in pain, he's most likely not being insensitive... His urges are probably doing most of the talking, and he likely misses being intimate with you. Perhaps he doesn't realize the severity of the pain, or hopes that its tolerable enough to try and have a normal love life.
2006-08-30 17:42:45 · answer #5 · answered by blandnamenotworthremembering 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You have to make an anti inflammatory treatment with diclofenac; it takes 4-5 days. Explain this to your husband, he can wait 5 days without having sex. I don't understand this; he is seeing you suffering, and still wants to make sex. What kind of pleasure is this?
2006-08-30 17:47:17 · answer #6 · answered by m_kiss2010 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to go see Rosie Palm and her five sisters (which is slang for male masturbation). Seriously, you are INJURED. Would he still have sex if it was HIS back that had been injured??? NO. I really don't think so.
He is being completely insensitive and it speaks of underlying problems. If he truly loves and respects you, he will gladly abstain from sex while you are still hurting.
2006-08-30 17:45:55 · answer #7 · answered by stormy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What if you lay on your side or on top where you can control your own movements? If that doesn't work kick your husband and herniate his discs so he knows how you feel!
2006-08-30 17:42:41 · answer #8 · answered by karen W 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If there is no position in which you can have sex without pain your husband has no right to insist on it. I find it extraordinary that he doesn't mind if you suffer as long as his needs are met.
2006-08-30 17:42:02 · answer #9 · answered by Bethany 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
try to find a position that's comfortable for you but don't allow him to hurt you do what you must to get it taken care of I suggest checking out spineonline.com Dr. Ditsworth
2006-08-31 13:14:20 · answer #10 · answered by Sandra 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried other positions which don't seem to aggrivate your condition? Like maybe doggie style might actually take the pressure off your back a bit. Maybe find other ways to satisfy eachother.
2006-08-30 17:39:19 · answer #11 · answered by jmlmmlmll 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋