i just realized that the man who means the most to me in my life is my "whipping post" what do i do?? it seems like every time that i talk to him i take out all of frusterations on him and i am a complete biitch.
2006-08-30 17:29:56 · 10 answers · asked by pinkii 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
does he stay with you and listen, and not get angry with you? if so, you resent him for not being an angry person. in a way you hate that he doesnt get angry with you. so you try to make him mad by pushing how far you can yell and scream at him. make sense?
2006-08-30 17:35:41 · answer #1 · answered by marcvialli 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are two big ways to relieve your frustration and your taking the hard route.
(A) this is the hard route, you make him the subject of all the pent up negativity you've developed since the last time you flipped on him.
(B) You let him help you come to terms with all that negativity. Good mediators will turn that painful energy into air.
If you are taking route A , then there is alot going wrong, you are bieng hurt (when you build up the frustration), you hold onto that hurt like a knife, you use the knife on the person you care the most about. When you hurt him, you hurt yourself and the pain just keeps going around and around.
You must realize that holding onto frustration and not letting it go is like carrying boms in a basket and not putting them down, holding onto them untill they blow up, hurting you and those who are close you.
If you decide to try B, you have to talk to him. He will either help you forget about why your angry (which is okay - why do you want to remember pain!?) or you can take it head on and just tell him about the most frusturating part(s) of your day. (the later is less efficient, but just talking to him will make you feel better.)
Venting your frustrations physically or in an emotionally damaging way towards another, is the worst you can do...throw away your whipping post. Why do you have to transfer negative feelings when you can simply put them down?
You are not a bad person to be mislead but you are a bad person if you continue to harbor evil ships
2006-08-31 01:13:57 · answer #2 · answered by Zanzibar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop and think about what you say before you say it. Is it hurtful? Then don't say it. Think about how you would feel is what you are about to say was said to you. And if something bad slips out, apoligize immediately.
If you're feeling so frustrated, maybe get a journal to write down everything that's been bothering you before you see him. That way, you'll have let off some steam on paper, rather than all over him.
2006-08-31 00:36:57 · answer #3 · answered by Duende71 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
instead of using him as your whipping post use him as a sounding board...tell him what's really bothering you and ask him for his advice. I was in the same type of relationship until I realized that I was slowly driving him away. We did go to couples counseling and all is well...Good Luck.
2006-08-31 00:32:10 · answer #4 · answered by Jessica T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he puts up with this, you truley have a good man.... but you wont for long if you do not learn to modify your behavior..... stop the ugly and start the beautiful....... when you find urself being a *******, stop, take a deep breath and say the word *sorry* and calm down and talk to him NOT at him..... you better take head of what I say, or you may just find urself talking to urself...... God bless
2006-08-31 00:36:27 · answer #5 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try whipping him literally
2006-08-31 00:36:38 · answer #6 · answered by stud_muffin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy. Stop doing it.
If you can't, go see a therapist.
Rod
2006-08-31 00:38:33 · answer #7 · answered by thedatepro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You love him.
Tell him and then give him a full body massage.
2006-08-31 00:36:04 · answer #8 · answered by luvtarot 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you are sorry for stuff you do and tell him he's you most important person.
2006-08-31 00:36:41 · answer #9 · answered by Meow~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be honest
2006-08-31 00:32:13 · answer #10 · answered by gafuller62 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋