I need some serious help. People always tell me to tell the truth, and it keeps biting me in the @ss.Help?

Question

My Girlfriend went away for summer camp, French woods. So I ended up hanging with my friends and so on, no big deal. One of the days I end up hanging with my friend Rob, and when I get to his house. Just as I get there, he's leaving, and says wait inside (known him since I was 2, like brothers). So I go in, sit on the couch, and watch some TV, next thing I know his gf, Laetiti, comes downstairs naked. She sat next to me, and I froze (awkward), and after regaining control of my mind, I left. Turned out he'd asked her to warm me up, see if I was interestd ina thresome. So I told my gf we need to talk as SOON as she got back, and avoided Robs house the rest of the Summer. When I todl my gf, she freaked, now she's pissed at me. What should I do? I wthought walking out, and telling her as soon as possible was the right thing to do. Was I wrong? Please, seriouss answers, cuz I really love my gf, and I dunno what to do!

Answer 1

You're a sweetheart!! Hunny what you did was exactly the right thing to do by her. I cannot for the life of me understand why she would be pissed at YOU for this?? She must be nuts - most girls would love to have an honest man like you. I don't know what advice I can give you about your girlfriend as in my opinion she's the one with the problem - not you. I can't think of anything you can do because you already did the right thing. Maybe you could start by asking her if telling her about this was the wrong thing to do and would she have preferred it if you'd said nothing. If she says no then ask her what the hell you should have done then because you thought that what you did was the right and honest thing to do. Babe if she doesn't trust you (which she obviously doesn't because she's shitty with you for doing absolutely nothing wrong) then you probably are better off without her unfortunately. She sounds toxic. But do ask her what she would prefer you to have done. Let her know that by telling her this you thought you were proving your trust, loyalty and love for her and she's just thrown it back in your face. That's about the only thing I can think of to do!! Sorry I'm not much help but I just wanted to let you know that I reckon the way you handled the whole situation was wonderful!! Wish I had a man like you!! Lol!! Best of luck babe :)

Answer 2

Well first off, your gf shouldn't have gotten pissed. Ask her how she would have felt if you had kept it a secret from her, or if you had actually done it! Not only were you faithful, but honest as well.
As far as always telling the truth, not saying anything is not dishonest. Sometimes you just have to excersise a little tact. People who are immersed in a lie do not want to hear the truth.

A morbidly obese person who thinks their a skinny model does not want to hear the truth. If you told them how fat and ugly they are, they could kill themselves. Also, telling them they are fat and ugly is not the ultimate truth, but merely an indication of current styles and resemblances. Youd basically just be saying that they dont resemble current fashions and styles.

Buddhism speaks of the truth (not the ultimate truth) as a sharp knife, cutting through nets of disillusion. You must realize that although the net is made of falsehoods and lies, it often holds good things as well that disappear when the truth is introduced.

Remember, 100% accuracy is not the ultimate truth because it does not always produce results that are good for everyone, it only cures dissillusion. The ultimate truth is saying or doing that which produces the most happiness of anything you could say or do. Its very difficult at first, and it takes a keen ability to judge the situation but you'll get the hang of it.

in your situation, you didn't need try to be 100% accurate,you could have just hugged your gf and told her you love her very much. Its the truth and it represents how you felt when you decided not to cheat on her, and it would above all things- make your gf very happy.

Answer 3

I think you will learn that there is such a thing as "too much information". There are some things that other people don't need to know. You can still be honest without revealing unnecessary things. Consider things that you might write in your journal; it wouldn't be wrong to feel them or write them down, but probably at least some of it would be disturbing to your significant other to hear.

Then again - what if you haven't told her, and she, by chance, found out through your friend or his girlfriend? You'd be in trouble then, too! This is the "damned if you do, damned if you don't" scenario.

I'd say, this is a "lose-lose" situation; you're gambling when you tell her, you're gambling when you don't. Hopefully, your g/f will eventually grow up, and won't hold something like that against you. Or perhaps one day you will find yourself in a trusting relationship with a woman who is rational and mature, and you won't have this problem again. Meanwhile, just let her stew; you can't do anything about it; try not to act guilty, because you're not.

Answer 4

You have done the right thing IMO and if I were you I try to explain to your g/f how much you love her and want nothing more than for her to trust you even if it takes time. That you just do not want to hide anything from her. I would also explain that your friend betrayed you by putting you in that situation knowing that you were with someone and that you intend to not hang out with him. She probably needs a day or two to step back and think about everything. Good luck and I hope she will give you another chance to prove your love.

Answer 5

Let your gf know you have no secrets from her and please don't be mad for your honesty, The only way to have a good and true relationship is to be honest if it had came out later from else where you'd broke her trust. It's a no win-win but try to explain whole heartedly and Don't go around your friend and his gf or you will really be in the dog house and go against every ounce of trust your building in this relationship. Two main ingredients in a lasting relation is HONESTY & TRUST cant have one without the other. Good Luck.

Answer 6

First, you didn't do anything wrong. Your girlfriend freaked out because that's pretty extreme and hard to take in all at once. Think of how you would feel if she told you something like that happened to her.

Give her time. Bring her flowers. Just understand that while it's a little traumatic for you it's also hard on her because she's thinking you might have been tempted to say yes.

Answer 7

that's by no ability incorrect to tell the reality! even nonetheless, who ever is doing the asking extra helpful be waiting for the reality. have you ever heard of the expression "sometimes the reality hurts". It would not recommend the act of telling the reality hurts, however the information that's being reported. You, even nonetheless, might desire to continuously be basic, as ultimate you could. it sort of feels to be a piece of your solid nature. And, who desires to disillusioned our organic course in existence, on telling lies. it fairly is my stand with people who understand me. in case you do no longer decide to hearken to or terrified of the reality, do no longer ask!! If somebody ask some thing i do no longer decide to communicate approximately, I say in basic terms that, "that's no longer up for communicate". solid rule....do no longer do something you will possibly desire to lie approximately interior the 1st place!!

Answer 8

you did the right thing i think your girlfriend is wrong for not trusting you because you obviously had no intentions of cheating on her if she gets mad about that then her trust in you must not be strong and that's not good in a relationship you need to have a serious talk with her and tell her what's up

Answer 9

You did the right thing by telling her the truth; she's a bit shocked and freaked out, that's definitely not the sort of thing you expect to have happen to your significant other. Put yourself in her shoes, how would you react if she told you some naked guy came down and sat next to her to see if she'd be willing to be part of a threesome? The important thing is to stress that you respect and trust her enough to trust her to be able to deal rationally with the truth, and that you don't want to hide anything from her; it might take a day or two for her to calm down, but when she does, she'll realize that it's much better for her to have a boyfriend she can trust to tell her the truth than to always be wondering and guessing at what might be going on.

Now, with that said, you have to be careful in how you deliver a message; if you tell her, while she's away for the summer "We need to talk as SOON as you get back", but don't tell her the reason, she's going to have *lots* of time to concoct horrible scenarios about getting dumped, or worse, and is going to build up a whole bunch of stress wondering what this BIG talk is going to be about. Half of why she's feeling pissed could be that she's been preparing for getting dumped, or worried about you telling her some horrible news, so her reaction may not be entirely about what actually happened as much as over how much stress you caused by prolonging her uncertainty.

Your instinct to tell her as soon as possible was a good one--the problem is, you didn't--you told her *something* had happened, but didn't tell her the details until she got back. Once you get past this blow-up, you'll need to be more careful next time; either tell them directly, all at once, even if it's over the phone so they don't have time to imagine the worst, or don't say anything until they're back in person, and then sit down with them and start by explaining your decision to wait until you were back together in person to talk to them--they have to understand why you waited, or it's going to seem like you were being less than honest with them for some reason.

So, you had the right instinct and the right idea, but you carried it out somewhat poorly in this case. ^_^;;

You'll need to let her vent her frustration for a while--after all, you were the one that gave her all that time to build it up. When she's let it out, and can listen, apologize for letting her get worried about what the big talk was going to be about; let her know you still love her, and trust and respect her and that you won't make that mistake again, that next time you'll communicate directly, and not leave her in suspense like that. And then get back to the event, and explain again that nothing happened, but that you felt she deserved to know directly from you, so there would be no misunderstandings or rumours coming at her from the side.
With any luck, if she's a reasonable person, she'll recognize the truth in what you're saying, and will calm down and forgive you for not telling her directly this time, but she'll still have a right to scold you for keeping her in suspense like that. Above all, reinforce that you're not leaving her, that none of her worst imaginings are going to happen, and that you won't leave her in suspense like that again. :)
Good luck with it!

Answer 10

did you mention the naked part? if so that's the problem dude. she probably didn't like the fact saw another girl naked when ur goin out with her.just give her time to cool down and work it when she can talk without snapping at ya.