I was 19 when i had my son still lived at home an then moved out when my son was 6months old but left him with grandmother till i got moved in an stuff an then she wouldnt let me take him with me when I felt so hes been there ever sence an hes not use to me how can i help him with that
2006-08-30 16:44:40 · 10 answers · asked by angie_miller31 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I was 19 when i had my son still lived at home an then moved out when my son was 6months old but left him with grandmother till i got moved in an stuff an then she wouldnt let me take him with me when I felt so hes been there ever sence an hes not use to me how can i help him with that , right now me and the grandmother are not getting along she has took me to court to get full custody of my son I get him on the weekends but he crys an is not use to me what can I do Help please
2006-08-30 17:46:08 · update #1
First of all, don't force and try to convince him to go with you. He is still a one year old boy. Still young enough to learn who you are. So, the first thing to do is visit him everyday as much as possible. Get him used to the idea that you're his mother. Say that your name is mommy and he'll try to say that. Once he's used to it, tell him the truth slowly. Once he understands the future won't be that far away from you guys. Also, tell the grandmother to help think that you are his REAL mother. If she doesn't help, then I can't really see a future with you two. The key here to get your sone back is team work. From the grandmother, you and him. He is old enough to know the truth than later. Finally, once you've been around him for a long time and he's slowly accepting your presence, keep interacting with him for a very strong relationship and let him think about the mother thing. His grandmother is the only one who can mostly and personally convince him that your his mother. Hope that you get your son back!!!! Hope that I've helped you. Remember, the goal here is teamwork and strong bond between you, grandmother and son.
That's how you'll get him back. For certain.
P.S.- By the way what some people said to you is mostly true. If you're a committed mother, then you'll do everything in your power to get him back. Not forcefully but concince him slowly and the grandmother too.
2006-08-30 17:23:18 · answer #1 · answered by buntigger2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just spend time with him. And remember don't cut grandma out if his life. Whatever kind of relationship the two of you have, she raised his so far and she has been his "mother" she has been the only constant in his life. Don't take that stability away from him. Make sure they still spend time together. Don't make him pay for any bad choices either one of you may have made.
2006-08-30 23:58:19 · answer #2 · answered by I love sushi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
His grandmother should leave him with you gradually. Start off with one hour then increase. We had the same problem with my neice. She didn't want to stay with her daddy and his new wife. She was 3 when we started just slowly leaving her with him longer and longer and now she is ok with spending the night with him and staying over there.
2006-09-03 09:27:39 · answer #3 · answered by tnicb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well honey i think maybe you should try weekends first for about a month then go to 3 days and so on until he get use to you being his provider its going to take probley 6 mts to a year for him to be come all the way confortable. hope this help ;)
2006-08-31 00:11:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make friends with him. Be loving, careful, take responsibility for him. It will be difficult, and you will need lots of patience. If you have committed yourself to raising your son, then you will spend as much time as you can with him, and make him feel happy. One thing is to make him laugh, and be happy. Laugh with him, love him, allow yourself to feel the love for him, and he will be able to feel it too. If you are happy with him, he will be happy with you.
2006-08-31 00:04:32 · answer #5 · answered by Delora Gloria 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
why didn't you take him.??? you are his mom...she is the grandmother....i think 19 is old enough to make decisions for yourself...i could understand her keeping him for a few days....but that is way too long...
2006-08-30 23:53:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
just let him know that your his mother and make feel like home. He' ll get use to you and just tell him that you love him and use mommy alot and he'll catch on.
2006-09-03 17:09:25 · answer #7 · answered by nana_dt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BE GENTLE AND UNDERSTAND WHERE HE IS COMING FROM. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO JUST SPEND TIME WITH HIM AND THEN TAKE HIM BACK TO GRANMAS FOR THE NIGHT . REMEMBER THIS IS A HARD TIME FOR A CHILD THAT DOESN'T REMEMBER YOU.
2006-08-30 23:55:05 · answer #8 · answered by srcall1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's going to cry, YOU need to get used to that.
2006-09-03 04:02:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
umm buy him stuff..let him know ur sorry
2006-08-31 07:39:06 · answer #10 · answered by miss!@ the disco 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋