If you didn't have a Father or a terrible one, I know that feeling, I know that missing piece in your life. Mine was an abusive drunk beyond belief. If thats you I'd like to share what I have learned. Give your children exactly what we craved..love them like crazy, love them lavishly, love them extravegantly..without hesitation and I promise you it will be returned. I know the fear of having children and repeating the cycle..FEAR NOT...you know what they need it was the very thing we wanted...that's the key! I've rasied 3 beauitful children and they walked in love everyday of their life with me..they never knew a day I didn't tell them I love you..and made them feel like the gift they are..I would tell them how I felt when they were born...I just loved them like crazy EVERYDAY..I never raised my voice to them..I was never like my father..the thing I feared..it's all about LOVE...it never fails!!!!!
Sorry for so long..I just felt someone might need this.
Do you agree?
2006-08-30 16:33:48 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
THanks. I honestly needed that. My father was the same way. I am 20 years old and i still wonder if my dad even loves me. I know one thing for sure my husband and i will definitely give our children all the love we can.
2006-08-30 16:38:54 · answer #1 · answered by Kim Carter 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with everything you've said. I have an abusive father as well. I have a love so deep for my child I can't even fathom why people would treat their kids that way. Every child has potential to be something great. We as parents need to nuture our kids and give them unconditional love-make sure they know they are loved no matter what! I hope there are some abusive parents out there reading these comments. Maybe it will soften their hearts.
2006-08-30 23:48:27 · answer #2 · answered by wendygirl1000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had(had because I have not so much as gotten a phone call from him in 5 years) a terrible father!! He was very physically and mentaly abusive, and an all around bad person. It is good to know that you love your kids so much, I have a 7 month old that I cannot explain the love for and my husband is the best father she could ask for.
2006-08-30 23:41:53 · answer #3 · answered by Kay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Terrific for you for finding the key to finally having a happy childhood - giving your kids one! My precious precious father had a monster for a father. He decided to love his kids right, the way you did, lavishing us with love and devotion. His brother basically imitated their father. My father created a family of devoted children and grandchildren who love him and love each other other. My uncle has suffered a great deal of pain as his children are not only often estranged from him, but several followed in his footsteps and continued the life of pain.
Kids can never get too much love and caring - as long as they have responsibilities! - and I'm so saddened by those who grew up abused and then actually resent their kids getting a nice life.
Congrats!
2006-08-30 23:44:39 · answer #4 · answered by cassandra 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's good that you think this way. Some men just figure, they made it out of the situation ok, therefore their children will too. It's great that you're breaking the cycle of abuse. It wouldn't be fair to your children if you were to hold on to your past, then take it out on them, like some fathers do. I always had the love of my father, and I'm grateful for that. Your children will be thankful to you too someday! Take Care
2006-08-30 23:42:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I grew up with a step dad, he loved me just the same as if I was his. I have no relationship nor do I want one with my real father. I do not feel as though I have missed out on life due to this, but instead had a good creative upbringing which allowed me to be who I am today.
Finally some words that could be inspring from you instead of the usual self-absorbed drivel!
2006-08-30 23:44:16 · answer #6 · answered by A_Geologist 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people who have become Christians and they have had a bad father or a father that left have a hard time relating to God as their heavenly Father! God is love and his love is perfect!
I agree with you to a point! Children need love but they also need discipline! Even our heavenly Father disciplines those he Loves! Without love and discipline children suffer! The Bible says that a father who does not discipline his children does not love them!
When I talk about discipline I am not talking about abuse!
2006-08-30 23:46:58 · answer #7 · answered by zoril 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember that your Dad barely loves himself - he's running on an empty tank. He can't give you love because he can't love himself. Don't take it personally - the rejection can be devastating but BREAK the cycle with your kids by loving yourself - really taking the time to enjoy yourself and who you are. Your kids will love all the hugs and kisses - remember; physical love is JUST as important as the words you say....
Response to: 'That's why I always am flabbergasted when people put their God before "all else." '
God is love so you gotta start at the beginning...it's the source and it all flows from there....
2006-08-30 23:42:35 · answer #8 · answered by bcbound 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with your statements about loving your children like crazy. I have a father who has said things to me that I wouldn't tell my worst enemy, much less my children. I don't understand how any parent can hurt their child (emotionally or physically) and not want to kill themself in anguish over it.
But just remember: Christianity doesn't have a copyright on love. :)
2006-08-30 23:47:55 · answer #9 · answered by ChiChi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children are our pride and joy. It dosen't go away for a parent who loves. In socieology we studied about animals, If the mother was not close to her young, the pups, kittens, etc reflected the difference from those those mothers loved and licked and stayed close.We all need love. That's why I abanded the church.. No Hell in my books. That's NOT love.
2006-08-30 23:45:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋