In what ways do you think it will affect you? For how long? Will you hate them?
2006-08-30 15:43:04 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
If that person wrote a suicide note telling you it wasn't your fault, to be happy etc., do you think that would help? Or make things worse?
2006-08-30 15:50:42 · update #1
The grieving process usually goes as :
denial- "No, it is NOT true, I know he is still alive, this is a mistake,"
anger-" Why did you do this 'Bob'? Why did you leave me alone, I hate you."
bargaining- "Ok, God, if you just bring Bob back to me I swear I will go to church every Sunday from now on."
depression- "Oh, Bob, I miss you so much, I just can't go on, I do not care about anything anymore."
acceptance- "Bob, you were a good friend, I don't believe you trusted me enough as a friend to tell me how bad you were hurting to kill yourself." "I will always remember our good times together, and I hope you are happy wherever you are."
Different people take different times to go onto the next step in the grieving process. Some stay in denial for the longest, some in depression the longest. I don't think I would hate the person, I may be shamed that I was their friend and did not have a clue how bad they were hurting, and I think I would want them to forgive me for not knowing...
2006-08-30 15:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by debi_0712 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
People who have suicidal thoughts are seriously ill mentally. In such a serious condition they can't think rationally, they are in a lot of pain and all they can think of is how to end this pain and unfortunately a lot of people see only one way out.
If someone I cared about committed suicide I wouldn't be angry at them or hate them, I'd just feel very sorry that they had to go through so much pain that they couldn't handle it and I'd feel bad that noone realized they were so ill and helped them. I'm sure I'd think back looking for signs I should have noticed of them being so ill, although I know a lot of people manage to hide it well. I'd just wish I would have realized and been able to help them.
How long it would affect me probably depends on how close to me they were.
2006-09-01 02:21:47 · answer #2 · answered by undir 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from personal experience as in trying to have committed suicide, but being stopped before I was finished, I'd have to say that I'd be angry with myself. I'd wonder how I could have missed the signs/symptoms that something wasn't right with my friend/family member. No matter what anyone says, suicides do give warnings that something is seriously wrong with them. They stop their meds, talk excessively about death, give prized possessions away, for example. Too many times we get wrapped up in ourselves that we don't want to see anyone else's unhappiness, or we don't know how to handle it. I've had friends tell me they were "afraid" to tell someone about me because they thought I'd me mad at them. Well, guess what? The friend who did step in saved my life.
You're going to go through all the stages of grieving no matter how someone dies. It's inevitable. You never get over the death of anyone, whether it's by natural causes or by suicide. The pain may lessen or be recessed to the back of your mind, but something will always bring it to the forefront.
Why hate them? They probably hated themselves more than you do. In making the decision to commit suicide there is a certain amount of peace. You feel that for once you're taking control of your life. No, it's not the answer. Something like the appropriate meds or talking to someone who has experience such as a psychiatrist who can help you work through the burdens you're carrying can make life easier. They just need to know they're not alone. Their mental decline doesn't happen overnite.
This probably won't be a popular answer with the holier-than-thou types, but I would bet just about anything, they've never been faced with this situation--it's theoretical to them. The lady whose husband committed suicide may be the only one who can understand.
2006-08-31 01:58:10 · answer #3 · answered by goldie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend who committed suicide when I was in middle school. I thought she was fun and I enjoyed spending time with her. When I found out that she'd committed suicide, I wasn't angry with her -- I just wished I would have known what she was going through so I could have told her how special she was and how valuable her life was. I found out later that she did it because she was upset that some kids made fun of her. It's so sad because that was over 10 years ago, and she could have had such a great future.
2006-08-30 23:46:55 · answer #4 · answered by Scotty 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It would hurt but I think I would blame myself more for not realizing that they were desperate for the help and I didnt do everything that I could do to let them know they are loved. I would have wished I got them the help that they needed. I wouldnt be angry towards them only sorry that they are gone. I couldnt hate someone that felt so desperate and in so much pain and despair that they couldnt take living their life anymore.
I have been in this situation before. I tried to commit suicide and so I know how people who want this feel. Luckily I had friends who helped me through and got me the help I needed. Im very thankful because now my life has completely turned around...
2006-08-30 23:05:10 · answer #5 · answered by hearts_bleed_dark 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Committing suicide cannot be forgiven because the person is no longer here to be forgiven ( it takes 2 )
Anger is a natural part of the grief process so yes people would be angry, generally people blame themselves, so guilt would be a biggee.
How long??? FOREVER, because that person isn't here to work through the issue.
2006-08-31 04:19:39 · answer #6 · answered by chriscnaz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Miss Verlaine, is that person you? If so, please call a suicide hotline RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!! If it is not, keep reading. Anger is a step in grief. Of course I would be angry. I would work toward forgiveness and it would not matter one iota that the person I loved told me it wasn't my fault (guilt is also a step). Every person and every situation is different, so the healing time is different. I would never (and have never) gotten over it. Please get help now if you are still reading this. I believe you are either questioning this for your planning stage or you have lost someone very dear to you. God bless you. Please let me know how you are.
2006-08-30 23:24:35 · answer #7 · answered by swarr2001 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Suicide is selfish in my opinion. It pisses me off when I hear about people I knew that committed suicide. Do they think about what they are doing to their family? Everyone gets to choose their own path so why take your own life just because things aren't going your way. Seek help, talk to someone. How can people help you if they don't know what is wrong. Give people a chance.
2006-08-30 22:48:40 · answer #8 · answered by mom of 2 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would be upset with them. I couldn't help but be. I think suicide is actually quite selfish. I would forgive them of course. But it would probably bother me for a very long time. Possibley my whole life.
2006-08-30 22:58:43 · answer #9 · answered by Maggie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My brother committed suicide. I am not angry. I know he was an alcoholic and was depressed. Anyone who does this is mentally ill. It is really sad.
2006-08-31 00:14:04 · answer #10 · answered by dancinintherain 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋