I think she has a split personality because she acts one way at school and one way at home. Most days I don't want to talk to her because she tries to demand things from me and takes things from me. If I try to confront her and say what I have to say to her, i'm the one that ends up getting into trouble with my parents... She hangs around these idiots in my marching band (she's in the 9th grade) but I don't want to sound like a loser or a motherly figure trying to get her away from those people. She takes my money and never pays it back. (I know what your thinking, we're family and we have to help each other out) but my job at the pool barely pays anything and my hours are shortened because i'm in school. I don't know how I should even go about handling my situation or what I should do to even talk to her. Can you help me out?
2006-08-30 14:37:30 · 15 answers · asked by T.S. Quint 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Hey, why not have lunch with her.
Maybe pb&jelly sandwiches, or something.
Ask her what she thinks about.......try to make it about her...and listen to what she has to say.
Tell her how you feel about taking money from you. Then, tell her no when she asks. Tell her your hopes and fears about your money.
Then, tell her how you feel about her.....and please try to be nice.
Again, no means no!
Sounds like she looks up to you.
Maybe she just wants your attention, but doesn't know how to ask.
I think you're becoming a better person by realizing that you two are different, but you still care.
Have a good time showing her how others can treat her with dignity and respect, and still say NO!
2006-09-05 08:54:26 · answer #1 · answered by May I help You? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are her friends in the marching band doing drugs or other illegal activities, or is it just because you don't like them? What she sees in a friend probably isn't what you see, and never will be.
From the youngest of 8 kids,,, if you want to give advice about a particular subject,, use your own life examples in a story to get her to talk about her own issues.. Don't inflict your opinion on her,, its just that, an opinion.
Want a good piece of advice from someone with experience... don't lend or borrow money from family. If you want to give it, make it a gift. If you don't have it to spare just say no! Say you would love to help, but just can't at the moment. If you borrow it, make sure you pay it back or it will forever be between you.
I still hate getting unwarranted advice!
2006-09-05 02:03:03 · answer #2 · answered by wikkedlee 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your sister does not have a job, don't give her any money because she will not be able to pay you back. She should go to mom and dad for the cash. If she is stealing the money from you and you can not approach your parents, try writting them a letter and ask them to read it in their private time explaining that your sister is taking the money you have earned at work. Explain to mom and dad that you can not understand way ANYONE would steal money if something "fishy" is not going on. If that does not get your parents attention then truely you have an issue more with your parents. If you can't get an account at the bank on your own, buy a lock box for your cash. I used to do that when I was living at home. I kept the key with me unless I was at home. Then I had a special hiding place in my room for it.
(inside the shoe of one of my dolls) Good luck and I hope your sister finds her own job very soon!
PS My own kids have given me notes about their siblings behavior when they did not know how to approach me with a sensitive problem. I always thanked them in private for bringing that to my attention.
2006-09-06 23:50:20 · answer #3 · answered by together420yrs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok what I am going to say is the honest truth. I use to be like your sister. You need to quickly talk to your parents and have her tested for drugs. Most of what you said was me at the 9th grade level. I became a pot head and a acholic in High School. If they don't want to listen to you, make them. Do not loan any money to her at all. When she brings over the lossers let them know that you don't like them being with your sis. You may look like the " nerd " but your sis will soon grow up and thank you. I did. I have a older sis that bearly talked to me in High School and a younger bro that I love dearly for his standing up to me then. Please don't take this lightly. This is a serious thing!
2006-09-07 06:20:38 · answer #4 · answered by womanofthefire80 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't leave your money where she can get it and don't loan it to her. Sounds like she's taking advantage of your kindness in that department. She's showing off at school because no-one has Licked the stripe off her candy yet...something will happen in due time to put her in her place. Maybe she's just trying to find herself...who knows. If your friends don't want her around, they need to tell her or simply ignore her. She should be around people her own age and have her own friends to hang out with. Tell your folks what you need to, but don't be a snitch...she's your blood and bone and that should come before anything else...
2006-09-06 05:57:01 · answer #5 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if your both at school it may be better just to let her get on with it,,at this age you shouldnt be worrying over her,that is your parents job,,lead your own life and let her lead hers,,you can bond at a later age when these problems wont be problems anymore,most siblings dont get on at some point so dont take too much responsibility,if she needs things she cant pay for she cant have them unless your parents give her money,,your sister needs to learn what you role in the family is,it isnt to take all her crap and give all she wants,be a brother,nothing more.when you both are adults she will even tell you more or less the same.
2006-09-06 01:06:08 · answer #6 · answered by lex 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your mom! Talk to your dad! Tell them that she takes your money and that you would like a bank account so she cant touch it. Ask for a lock on your door to your bedroom like a slide lock or one on the door handle. Keep talking to your parents and dont let up or they wont take you seriously. Tell her that you dont want to be around her because she irritates you. Dont yell! Dont get angry! Stay calm no matter how much she yells at you....thats more likely for her to get in trouble. Tattle on her every time you think she is doing something she shouldnt be doing. Tell your parents about the kids she hangs out with and that you feel they are a bad influence.
2006-08-30 14:43:23 · answer #7 · answered by ziggunerin 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stop giving her money if she isn't responsible then she doesn't need your money till she learns how to be mature. Other than that she is just going through puberty and will get over once she grows up a little, I went through something similiar. She will be better in a few years.
2006-09-06 06:28:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel and stop giving her $$$. If you give an inch they will take a mile. If she ask just say that she still owes you $ and you don't feel comfortable giving her more when she hasn't paid you back for the last loan.
2006-09-06 15:39:07 · answer #9 · answered by Queen J 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
take her out to a movie or smthg and explain how u feel get away from ur parents so u dont get into trouble and take her to a comfotable enviroment and just explain things to her in a calm and big brotherly way
2006-08-30 14:41:08 · answer #10 · answered by sw!ss 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋