I'm a 22 yr old college girl and have never been on a date. I try to start conversations with guys, such as asking a question about classwork. They just answer it and move on. It's very frustrating and confusing. I've heard from many of my girlfriends that their friends (who are guys) find me attractive or "hot", and I'll randomly find that guys who I don't know exist ask about me. This was how high school was like also. I knew of guys who thought I was good looking, but only because other people told me. The only time a guy will talk to me is if I talk to him first. I am a very friendly person,sometimes quiet, but not shy. WHY DON'T THESE GUYS APPROACH ME! (I'd like guys opinions!)
2006-08-30 14:27:22 · 20 answers · asked by trenchwatch 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Go out in a large-ish group with your girlfriends and some of their guy friends so you can interact with them in a relaxed environment but without the commitment of having to have one conversation with one person. Maybe have a couple drinks too.
It just sounds like you need to loosen up a bit. And if you think the guys are intimidated, then try some self-deprecating humor, like how imperfect this or that feature or trait is. Self-deprecation works like a charm.
And if you really want to talk to somebody, TALK TO THEM. Most decent guys are terrified of talking to really attractive women because they're so used to being shot down. Maybe with you they figure they might as well not even bother to avoid the humiliation of being shot down by *you*. So maybe you'll have to break through their shell or shyness or intimidation, but apparently if you don't do it, no one will. What do you have to lose?
2006-08-30 14:35:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...That sounds very weird. I can't believe every guy is too shy to ask you out or even carry on a conversation with you. Is there something you're not mentioning? You're not obese are you or some other thing that stands out? Without ever having met you, it's hard to say what's up with this. Do you have pretty friends and do they get approached by the guys? If you do and they do then something else is awry here. Step back and see how your girlfriends react to the guys and maybe you'll find an answer there. Also ask a close friend if you got a bad rap somehow and if you did try to clear it up. It is the nature of society to gossip and that can put anybody on the "outs" for some reason. Find a friend and ask her point blank....but be prepared for honesty and be willing to change. (Change is really the yardstick of maturity). Good Luck!!
2006-08-30 21:45:48 · answer #2 · answered by strong and soft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry I am not a guy, but maybe I can help.
well, this could be for any number of reasons. Maybe you are annoying, maybe you are not very attractive :S (no offense, I hope!!), maybe you are going after the wrong guy. Or maybe there is nothing wrong with you and it is just not your time yet. I was a late bloomer in the dating area. My problem was mostly that I was just too darned innocent/naive to be attractive to a guy. (I am also not that pretty and shy, which also contributed. I also asked a very close friend once because I knew she would be honest, and she said I didn't meet eyes very often. So I tried to meet people's eyes more often, and it worked!). I would recommend "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You" by Leil Lowndes (sp). It is on Amazon. The title sounds worse than it is! :)
When I was in high school, I watched the movie "Little Women" and a quote stuck out to me: "You only need one, if he's the right one." This is so true, and I married the first man I dated. (Not becuase I was desperate and I didn't just marry "the first guy that came along." The first guy just HAPPENED to be the right guy.) So there is still definitely hope for you!! Good luck! I remember being in your shoes and wondering if it would EVER happen to me. I remember MANY tear filled nights, just wondering.
2006-08-30 21:36:47 · answer #3 · answered by mountain_laurel1183 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Zoey. You will probably get smarter answers, but here is one from the heart. I believe there are some girls who have such a strong spirit that it almost acts like a force field that keeps boys away. This deeply feminine spirit is a beautiful, powerful, but sometimes an intimidating reality for men. It represents everything that both attracts them, but scares them at the same time. Are you lovely and desirable? Absolutely. In fact, that's part of the problem because it is exactly that part of you that generates the feminine spirit. But don't worry, just like hormones, the levels will adjust soon and all will be well. So keep on believing in yourself, Zoey. You are a rare and magical woman. The man who is not afraid of that is just around the next corner.
2006-08-30 21:37:11 · answer #4 · answered by Isis 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL. My bf told me that (because I had the same problem as you) that he was intimidated by me. He said that I appeared snotty (even though I wasn't) because I was so shy/quiet. That is what guys think. Or they might get the energy because you are quiet that you just aren't friendly or interested. So put off a different energy, smile alot, laugh alot, and talk to them (guys) more. Look interesting. My bf said that he thought at first that I just would answer with yes or no answers and not make much conversation back (even though I thought that I was). Just try to develop a more outgoing personality is all that I can say.
2006-08-30 21:36:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot of times guys are intimidated by how good looking you are. They probably figure you are already taken, or that maybe you are a snob because you're "hot". Even though this is not the case, I suggest you continue to be friendly and even ask a guy that you would like to date to join you for a Starbuck's or something. I think it's time for you to make the move since the guys aren't!!! Good Luck!
2006-08-30 21:35:25 · answer #6 · answered by Geneva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First impression and appearance are areas that attracts any person before a conversation. Attractive, hot, good looking are just some areas that guys looks at. Guys are frightful of prominent family background, prestige, reputation, high class companions, heavy makeups etc.
You may want to change your physical outlook (eg. dress, hairdo etc) and places you frequent (eg. restaurant, posh outlets) to something more down to earth that matches the guy's interests. Probably wearing jeans, miniskirts, T-shirts, simple hairdo etc. like the rest of the gurls. Go for fastfoods, pubs etc. Blend in into their activities like going to outings, mountain climbing, hiking etc. Wish you the best soon.
2006-08-30 21:47:39 · answer #7 · answered by Nice Guy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure there is nothing wrong with you. Don't rush it. It will just happen when the right guy comes along. Next time a girl friend tells you about a guy who is interested, ask her to arrange a date for you - start with a double date.
2006-08-30 21:34:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys get intimidated by pretty women. Stand back and think about how you show yourself. Ask yourself if you make yourself approachable? Be flirtious, guys like to be flirted with. I can't speak for all guys, but I like when a woman approaches me. Be confident as well.
2006-08-30 21:39:50 · answer #9 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Excuse me girl.....take it easy.We are at the same boat.I always eager,looking forward for my Mr Right.All my friends hv their own partner.
I dont funky around.Faith come at the age of 29.
Now I hv 4 beatiful children.Age 8 to 16.
I'm 44 years old now.
My advice, let things come naturally.
Have a good day
2006-08-30 21:45:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋