How can you make a relationship work when both people are as stubborn as the other? They are the same yet not?

Question

I am dating this guy and he is older than me, of a different culture, and lives in a different city than I do. We don't have the same things in common but we like eachother, and we try really hard to understand the other, but when we butt heads I always try to end things. How do I make it work with him when it seems that everything is working against us? I am scared to lose him cause I really like him and I really care about him! I am scared to lose the fun relationship that we used to have all I want is for things to get back to how they used to be. How can I change to be a better woman to this man that means so much to me? Why do I always want to get my way??? I am super stressed please advice!!!!!!!! He is white and I am Mexican, He is 30 and I am 22. He is a musician and I am a student who has nothing to do with his HIP HOP world...I am open to his things and he is to mine! We get along and underneath it all he is a great friend to me

Answer 1

When two people love each other.....it doesnt matter if they are of different culture....as long as love is there....you two will work out. And why will you change yourself? Does this man love you or not? If yes, it means he accepts who you are. Love will conquer all okay? This problem that you're having is just a stepping stone for happiness.

Answer 2

Why do you have to change? Is the attraction physical? Because if that's all there is, just end it now- unless you want a strictly physical relationship. You say that you don't have the same things in common, you're scared to lose him and you really care about him. So...let's review: You are afraid to lose someone with whom you have nothing in common and you want to change to become a better woman. Sorry, but you have to ask yourself "What am I getting out of this relationship?" Frankly, it sounds like being with him is harder than it needs to be, and there's more stress than smiles. You want things the way they used to be, but people and relationships change over time. It's ok if it doesn't work; it just means that a better situation, one that is worth waiting for, is on the way. I hear how afraid you are, and it seems like you're blaming yourself for things not working out. What's up with him? What is he doing to make it work? I'd back off and give myself some space. Figure out what is so great about this guy, given all the things working against you, that make him worth the stress you're under.

Answer 3

Well it would help if you had somethings in common and the age difference has a lot to do with it. BUT first & formost A Mature person learns to compromise in situations, And the longer you know a person this can make things a bit better especially when you do not live together. I & Spouse we both are very Stuborn, But we have known each other for 8 years best friends first lovers second and now marriage mates. IT TAKES TIME but if you LOVE HIM TRUST HIM then one person somebody has to be the BIGGER PERSON, Willing to COMPROMISE. Take care, If all else fells and you feel you can Breath with out this person it may mean you need a BREAK.

Answer 4

Having two people in a relationship who are both stubborn can be difficult. You should agree ahead of time that when it seems like it's going to start getting heated, one of you should ask, "Can we talk about this later when we are more calm?". That might help to diffuse the situation. Love is blind. It doesn't see colors, ages. . . If you can make it work, try to find comprimises or ways for each of you to be happy.

Answer 5

culture clash is often a relationship killer.

Either you give up being a control freak ( not easy to do, incidentally) and change to his cultural ideals, or split.

Your relationship is physical; you enjoyed the things you used to do. But I don't think he fell in love, nor you, but you came close.

You clash because you want your way. He is older, more fixed in his ways, and probably quite comfortable with who he is. You won't change that. Relationships with musicians have their own set of super-stressors. Unless they are super talented ( most aren't, but think they are) they will be marginal, financially, at best.

Maybe you just like the idea of hooking up with a musician?

Answer 6

If you already butt heads you will do the same when you get married. you dont have the same things in common but you like him still? to me that sounds like you want some No-strings-attached-sex with the guy. rebound kinda thing.
i would suggest just having sex with him and then dumping him for someone who you can have a less stressful relationship with.