Self doubt or something more deep?

Question

I feel that I am always being judged by people everywhere I go. I'm in my mid 20's, so to some extent I AM being judged by men. I always get the feeling that people don't like me, but I try to make it a point to be nice so they hopefully will. These types of feelings have held me back from seeking a real career. I feel like I wouldn't be good enough or I would be rejected. I go around pretending that these feelings dont exist so that no one will notice but I am tired of it. Thinking positive doesn't help me. I just want to live a life without these thoughts or worries. Do normal people think these things?? I feel like everyone is living a normal life and I am just sitting here thinking about it.

Answer 1

You sound like me. I'm the same way...always expecting people to dislike me, make fun of me, and put me down. I'm paranoid, self-cautious, and insecure....and sounds like you are too. Thinking positive does help me, sometimes, but these things just don't go away. We have to work on them. Not everyone means us harm, there are actually some trust worthy people out there. As far as "living a normal life" goes, everyone has something strange going on in their lives, so don't think it's just you. Keep your head up! :)

Answer 2

I think you give other people way too much credit - how much time to you spend judging Joe Schmoe or Jane Doe, your coworker or your neighbor, your friend or your cousin's kid's teacher.... No time whatsoever, right? You know why? You're too busy worrying about other people judging you, which is exactly what they're worried about too, so just let go of the merry-go-round, sit down with pen & paper, and write down 5-10 kick-*** affirmations. Good stuff about yourself. What you are or want to be. Go ahead. Now take that list and reread it or rewrite it every time that self-doubt creeps in. Do something good for yourself instead of putting boogiemen out there. Have a nice life.

Answer 3

Don't worry, you are not alone... To an extent, I am still somewhat similar to you, except that somehow through the years, my way of thinking how loosen up so much, that I no longer care about such puny and meaningless things.

But yeh, sometimes when I'm just walking around the mall, I would think that people are looking at me funny, and I would give them dirty looks. Then I catch myself, and remind myself that many people have staring problems that they can't help, and they talk about people because they don't have anything better to do, and then it all seems easier to comprehend.

But I guess one of the most important things in life, is to never assume.

Answer 4

Well, i'm not one of those people who live a normal life... i used to go through the exact same thing in junior high and high school... i felt like all eyes were on me, studying me, trying to find ways to critisize me... i would see two people whispering and i would think, "They're talking about me. They're talking about what I did and how I wear my clothes. They're talking about how flat my hair looks." etcetera... i tried the whole "positive outlook" thing and that didnt work and made me only more frustrated... so i did the next best thing: i withdrew from everything. i emerged myself in the world of books and music and i've become pretty apathetic, always numb, hardly feeling. you don't want to be where I am because i'm only 15... just try to ignore everybody... i'm not telling you to put a false smile on your face or look for the positive things in life... just forget it all.

Answer 5

Sounds like you need some self confidence. Everyone has the same worries but sometimes you need to quit worrying and live the life you want to live.

Answer 6

Everyone had doubts.. even the most confident appearing of people. Notice I use the word APPEARING; life is all about perceptions.

Remember... all that really matters is how you think about you. Did you try your hardest? do your best?

Many of us as children receive affirmations from our parents/caregivers and they do not teach us how to recognize these rewards in ourself and be proud of our self; not needing someone else to be proud of us first before we can be proud.

It has taken me years of self help to realize this. Good luck to you!

A really helpful read: Feeling Good, Dr. David Burns (yellow paper back for $9.99 Canadian).

Answer 7

i feel ya sister, most people have that prob,no matter how great they are... but basically you just need to learn to be happy with yourself, make goals you wanna accomplish in life (short term and long term goals) and do what you want....and stop worry'n about what other people think! more times than not....they are'nt judging you...it's in your mind

Answer 8

we all have negative feelings. yours have gone on to long seek out some help. for your self and for those you think don't like you. not liking someone is not the same as disliking them.

Answer 9

WHAT YOU HAVE IS SO COMMON AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT.
SOCIAL ANXIETY.
HOW TO GET OVER IT? REALIZE THAT YOU ARE TOO SELF-ABSORBED. NOT TO BE HARSH, BUT NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU. YOU WORRY WHAT OTHERS THINK OF YOU....CHANCES ARE, THEY DON'T. NOT UNTIL YOU GIVE THEM A REASON TO. YOU CAN HIDE BEHIND ANXIETY AND COME OFF AS ALOOF OR STUCK UP, OR.... YOU CAN FORCE YOUSELF TO BE EXTROVERTED AND TRY TO NOTICE GOOD THINGS ABOUT OTHERS AND PUT THEM AT EASE. SOUND CRAZY? KEEP READING....
THE HARDEST PART OF DEALING WITH SOCIAL ANXIETY IS FORCING THE FOCUS OUTWARD ON OTHER PEOPLE, NOT YOUR OWN FEELINGS OF DOUBT, INSECURITY, OR FEAR. FOCUS ON MAKING OTHER PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THEMSELVES. COMPLIMENT THEM ON THINGS YOU NOTICE. ASK THEM WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT TOPICS AND ISSUES. REPLY WITH POSITIVE OBSERVATIONS ABOUT THEIR PERSPECTIVE. I PROMISE WHEN YOU CAN START GOING OUT SMILING AT EVERYONE AND MAKING EYE CONTACT, YOU WILL SOON BE COMFORTABLE WITH TALKING TO STRANGERS ABOUT STUFF (SMALL TALK) AND ENGAGING IN CONVERSATIONS. IF YOU JUDGE YOURSELF TOO HARSHLY, IT WILL LEAK OUT OF YOU IN YOUR POSTURE AND DEMEANOR, AND OTHER PEOPLE WILL NOTICE. YOU WILL THEN ASSUME THAT THEIR INDIFFERENCE OR AVOIDANCE MEANS THAT THEY ARE JUDGING YOU AND FEEL HURT.
DO YOU REALIZE THAT 99% OF THE ROADBLOCKS YOU FACE ARE THE ONES YOU PUT IN YOUR OWN PATH? AND EACH OBSTACLE IS AN OPPORTUNITY IN DISGUISE, TO LEARN SOMETHING, OVERCOME SOMETHING, OR IMPROVE SOMETHING. SOCIAL ANXIETY CHALLENGES YOU TO DO ALL THREE.
IT MIGHT HELP TO KNOW THAT ACCOMPLISHMENTS BUILD YOU UP FROM THE INSIDE OUT. MASTERING A SKILL, CRAFT, OR TALENT ALL BUILD ESTEEM, AND WHEN YOU DO THAT, IT WILL LEAK OUT OF YOU IN A GOOD WAY THAT PEOPLE WILL NOTICE.
DON'T BOTHER WITH TAKING MEDICATIONS FOR IT. THOSE CAUSE SIDE EFFECTS YOU DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH. AND YOU COULD TALK TO A PSYCHOLOGIST IF YOU WANTED TO, BUT YOU CAN DO THIS ON YOUR OWN. YOU ARE, AND YOU HAVE ALL THE POWER YOU NEED. ALL THAT YOU NEED TO DO IS BELIEVE THAT AND TRY TO LOOK AT THINGS FROM A NEW PERSPECTIVE. TRY CHANGING "I CAN'T" TO "I AM NOT WILLING TO". MAKE EVERYTHING ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE, NOT ABOUT YOU (WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU NEED, WHAT YOU'RE COMFORTABLE WITH). YOUR INNER REDEEMING QUALITIES WILL START TO BREATHE AGAIN AND COME OUT OF YOU AND YOU WILL GET YOUR LIFE BACK.
YOU MAY POSSIBLY ALWAYS HAVE SOCIAL ANXIETY, AS MOST PEOPLE DO. BUT THERE'S A LOT OF US THAT THRIVE ON THE RUSH WE GET FROM BEING EXTROVERTS, AND SPREADING THE LOVE.
GIVE TO OTHERS THE ATTENTION, RECOGNITION, ACCEPTANCE, TOLERANCE, AND VALIDATION THAT YOU WANT FROM OTHER PEOPLE. I PROMISE THAT IT WILL ALL COME BACK TO YOU
TAKE CARE!

Answer 10

There are many people who would laugh at the prospect of changing their destinies. This is because it thinks that nobody gets more that exactly what is written in his fate.