2006-08-30 14:04:58 · 18 answers · asked by Boricua Born 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Thank you all, Fonzie,Ali ,Connie32269,Misty b, nicegirl,
Connie32269,Misty b,Kathy, I know I forgot someone but I am sorry. My best girlfriend got into a serious car accident, and there is nothing I can do at this time until tom.
2006-08-30 14:54:31 · update #1
I only know one joke and it's not that funny but i'll do it anyways...
Why did the blonde have square boobs???
-She forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
I know.. it's lame.. but I hope you feel better!!
2006-08-30 14:11:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
A LETTER FROM A REDNECK MOM
Dear Child,
I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast.
We don't live where we did when you left home.
Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved.
I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though.
Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.
The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home.
They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out.
Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.
Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down.
There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.
PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.
2006-08-30 21:08:34 · answer #2 · answered by Min 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there were 2 men in a prison in the desert @ they got released. they got outside @ there is nothing but desert all around. now these 2guys aren't 2 smart, they know town is 1 way, but they go the other way. they run into a trading post and ask the guy if he has a horse. He tells them he has 1, but when you get him to water 1 of you will have to put his head down to the water @ the other one will have to pump his tail. They get on the horse @ head off into the desert. After about 10 miles they come apon a watering hole. One of them puts his head down 2 the water @ tells the other 1 to start pumping, about 5 minutes go by and he lifts his tail to see if he's full. the horse s---s's all over him. He looks around @ tells the other guy to lift his head, he's sucking mud.
That will be 45 dollars Like the man says I don't care who you are that's funny. Hope it helped.
2006-08-30 21:37:00 · answer #3 · answered by black jack 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hello, i may be in the same boat as you, i have someone that always depresses me. What i usually do is hang out with my girls(daughters, friends, grandson's) ...or i go for a walk or a drive and just go cry somewhere . Crying is a emotion we all have when we are down and sometimes even when we are happy. Tears of joy!!
Crying helps, lets go of your emotions you are bottling up inside.
I hope this helps. :)
2006-08-30 21:17:46 · answer #4 · answered by ~muffun~ 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
there will be lots of time when ppl will upset you, make you happy, etc., but try not to take all these thing too seriously. i guess life is like that.
i know sometimes we get really depressed but try to do your best and dont go towards the wrong way.
smile... enjoy have fun.. life is too short to be depressed or angry or etc....
2006-08-31 00:05:28 · answer #5 · answered by Emma 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God came to Adam after He created him, and saw that he was lonely. "I'll make him a partner" God decided. So He spoke to Adam.
God: "I'm going to make a partner for you. A female by the name of Eve."
Adam: "Thank you! What'll this partner be like?"
God: "For a leg, both arms, your spine, and jaw, I'll make you a female human who is smarter than you, more beautiful, stronger and faster, and overall perfect."
Adam: "Hmm. What can I get for a rib?"
2006-08-30 21:11:24 · answer #6 · answered by Benanen 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
IU suggest you take an old sock stuff the other old sock inside tie a string around the end.
Then draw a face on it of the person who depressed you , get some pins and start poking it.
2006-08-30 21:08:20 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 4⤋
My two favorite pirate jokes:
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel stuffed down the front of his pants.
Bartender: Hey did you know you have a steering wheel in your pants?
Pirate: AAAaarrggghhh it's drivin me nuts!
Why are pirates always mad?
They just aaaarrrrggggh!
Cheer up girliefriend! :)
2006-08-30 21:09:49 · answer #8 · answered by Misty B 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
O.k. here's a great one, How do you get a Monkey out of a tree?
Give up?.......Shoot him! LOL lol O.k here's another...Where do midgets stay for free?........Stay Free Mini Pads!
Cheer Up. It Will get better! Oh One more....
Guy walks into a bar...asks the bartender for shots of Yagermeister.
Bartender says WOW you must be celebrating something?
The guy says as a matter of fact I am....My FIRST ********!
Bartender says, well in that case let me give you the 5th on the house...
Guy says...No Thanks! if 4 won't KILL the taste...NOTHING WILL! LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL
2006-08-30 21:09:41 · answer #9 · answered by conniechung 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I could but i am a blonde in real life and if I told you a joke I wouldnt get it!
hope ur night gets better!
2006-08-30 21:16:44 · answer #10 · answered by woohooo 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋