Men, their emotions, and commitment?

Question

Y does it take a man forever to express himself?

Y do men hate to express their feelings or admit to them?

Y are men afraid of commitments?

Do anyone have any techniques or strategies that helped them to get their significant other to take that next SERIOUS step????

Answer 1

You've raised some very good points....men arent wired to be emotional or express their emotions....simple as that. Not to say we can't....but its difficult.

Commitment issue....I have no problems making a commitment but marriages scare me. Why....because the divorce laws are set up to hose men...and I don't want to lose everything that I have worked so hard to get. I can control my emotions and feelings but not my partner's. Once she gets the notion she wants out....I get hosed and there's nothing I can do about it.

If they changed the law....I think I would be less reluctant.

That's as honest as I can get.

Answer 2

Women grow up trained to share their feelings and use that as a way to encourage certain behaviors in others. Men end up trained to do the opposite -- to be tough, to not show vulnerability. As a result, it can be tough to unlearn those behaviors enough to have a healthy relationship.

Every person is afraid of commitments, I think, at least on a certain level. I wouldn't say men are especially afraid of it. Some are at a different stage in what they want from relationships, though -- preferring to keep it casual. Maybe later in life they'll want something different, but that doesn't mean you should wait around with him hoping he'll change his mind!

The best strategy is, as always, honesty. While calm and non-accusative, tell him you feel ready, but you're increasingly worried by his reluctance. You're starting to feel strung along, and you need to know where his priorities really lay.

Tell him that at this point, he seems to want a different kind of relationship than you do. See how he reacts... does he say he wants the same kind of relationship you do? In that case, ask him to start thinking about what he plans to do about it, and ask him to share that plan with you when he's ready.

If a lot more time passes and all you get is reassurances without progress, he's probably just trying to keep you happy by saying the right things.

The thing is, love is a behavior, not just a feeling. Love is a series of choices that affect another person -- the choices he makes, or fails to make, can end up hurting you even though he doesn't want to. And people's choices reveal their priorities.

So, if his priorities don't lay in the same area as yours, he might not be a good match for you. Counseling might help to a point, but nobody will change in any way they aren't already choosing and prioritizing for themselves.

Good luck! Take care of yourself.

Answer 3

Because we don't know how to.

Because we don't want to seem weak to our guy buddies.

Because we don't like the idea of familiarity and the same ol thing over and over.

Maybe instead of playing mind games with guys, maybe you should be a little more straight forward with your own feelings about guys.