Ignore them. If they start screaming or whining then just walk away and don't say anything. Kids throw tantrums for attention and if you give them any amount of attention while they are throwing them then you are giving into them. Just walk away and eventually they'll learn that screaming and tantrums will get them nothing.
Spanking is not beating. If ignoring her makes it worse--that means it's working. She's doing it for attention and the longer you give her attention the longer these things are going to last.
2006-08-30 12:14:05
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answer #1
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answered by BeeFree 5
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O.k. So you are not a spanker. I think that is a great thing. I totally agree. I have an 8 year old son, so I know first hand what you are going through. I have found that getting down to my son's eye level and talking slowly, calmly, but firmly while explaining correct behavior has been working for about the past 3 months. I have to remind him that he is not a baby, and he is in 3rd grade and has to learn to control his feelings and anger. If not, I start to take things away that he loves. ( Right now, he has no X-box and can not play basketball with this friends at the gym for this erratic behavior at school. I have taken these much loved privileges away from him for only 1 week. This is more than enough time for him to start getting his act together.) As for your 5 year old. I would try some of the same things with her, but try to compare her behavior to a babies. She should be in pre-K or kindergarten so that is a BIG no no for them. They don't want to be babies anymore, so you should tell her to stop acting like one. Take time to CALMLY talk to them. No yelling and screaming will work. (Tried that. All that was doing was getting us both upset and nowhere.) Good luck. I hope i have helped in some way. Be strong and know you are not alone.
2006-08-30 14:10:07
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answer #2
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answered by BQ1982 1
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You are not totally ignoring the child if the temper tantrum continues. Say loudly anyone who is not having a tantrum can go outside with me and have fun. Don't go far away...........just far enough so you can hear and so that the child can hear you having fun....or go ini another room and do this. Eventually, the child will stop and will join you in the fun. Curiousity is an amazing thing.
It is becoming a habit with the both of them and you need to look at what you are doing to perpetuate it. It may be something very little and simple that you are overlooking.,
2006-08-30 14:19:47
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answer #3
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answered by heartwhisperer2000 5
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They've been doing it so long, it's going to be hard to stop but I recently had good luck with a 14-year-old who was a whiner (not mine!). When they want something, make them ask nicely. If they start whining if the answer is "no" make them go or take them to their room, out of your hearing. Tell them, "I'll talk to you when you've got control of your temper/stopped whining." If they do it in public, leave. Don't take them until they have shown some improvement and realize that you won't accept that behavior. Spanking will only make them whine louder. Taking their stuff away is not a punishment that fits the crime. This is a communication problem and they are old enough to find a better way to communicate. Also, when telling them "no", give a reason. Good luck.
2006-08-30 12:26:40
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answer #4
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answered by R. F 3
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I found that when my son starts throwing temper tantrums and all that I just send him to his room. It doesn't sound like that bad of a punishment because he has all him toys in there but when he no longer has an audience he actually gets over whatever him problem was and then when he comes back out he has to apologize to who ever is there for the way he acted. So far it seems to be working and he's 5 also so you could try it
2006-08-30 12:17:34
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answer #5
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answered by Jen 2
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I would NOT hit them.
Find the one thing that they like the most like a video game or watching their favorite show and take it away. If they are invited to a birthday party don't let them go. Of course, you must give them a serious clear warning so that it is fair and stay calm when you are saying it.
If you are at a restaurant and are supposed to be enjoying the luxury of eating out and they act up then you immediately leave and they've lost that luxury. You ask the waitress to cancel the order and the kids have to eat pb&j at home.
You can also take things out of their room. You warn them then you go and take their TV or whatever out of their room for a full week or whatever duration is apporpriate according to how bad they were. Take away allowance if they get it. Even so far as you take one out to get ice cream or a movie while the bad one stays home with Daddy.
The key is that you are taking AWAY something that they love and to them that is the worse thing you can do. Hitting can work a few times but then you have to hit harder and more and that bad. Plus there are plenty of kids that would take a slap over a privelage taken away from them.
Be CONSISTENT and calm. Explain everything clearly and although it may be hard to leave places in the middle of dinner or the middle of movie, believe me it may only take a few times before they start catching on to how the real world works.
Good luck!
2006-08-30 13:28:32
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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Depending on why they are doing it i usually ignore the tantrums because once you give in he/she will realize all they have to do is yell or scream and they get what they want. When my 6 year old throws tantrums i just go on with what i'm doing i don't completely ignore him but if i'm cooking i just continue cooking and going about my business and he usually stops because he realizes he's putting on a show and he has no audience. Have some patience and be consistant. Good Luck.
2006-08-30 12:29:25
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answer #7
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answered by SanDee 2
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I have the same problem with my 2 year old and agree that smaking them and yelling at them dosn't work. My childs docter told me to put him in a seperate room and try to ignor the tantrums and when he calms down go in and have a talk. This dosn't always work either but after a while she will understand that she is not always going to get her way when she throughs a fit. If you give in everytime she will continue to through her fits and its never going to end. Good Luck and I hope you find something that works for you.
2006-09-02 19:02:16
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answer #8
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answered by babykins1025 2
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compliment and props to you for imposing outcomes. we've 3 women (a while 4, 7, and 10). i'm able to assist you to already know from journey in case you do no longer positioned a give up to this now, it is going to purely worsen. With tantrums from at a youthful age like a million-4 We use timeout, or in simple terms forget approximately them. Age 5 or older, earns them a spanking. We supply them a possibility to calm themselves down first by utilising telling them to take some deep breaths, yet while they insist on throwing the tantrum, we take them to holiday, close the door, and circulate away them there until eventually they have calmed. Now in the event that they have been 4 or below, that must be it, in view that we anticipate greater out or our childrens previous this age, they might now get carry of a spanking. If my 7 twelve months previous daughter have been throwing tantrums. Pants might come down, she'd circulate over my lap, and that i might spank her little backside crimson. Do what you like, that's what we'd do. I surely have purely given ONE spanking for this. It grow to be my oldest who broke the rule of thumb. After my center daughter found out what grow to be in save for her if she tried it, she never did. i did no longer anticipate such stable outcomes, i grow to be planing in this being something we've been going to must be very consistent with. If it ability countless crimson bottoms, so be it. They made the alternative no longer you. stable luck
2016-10-01 02:43:42
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answer #9
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answered by Anonymous
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Ignore them till they stop, don't give in. It may seem long in the beginning, but eventually the tantrums will become shorter then not at all. Just act like no one is screaming and go about your business. They will stop, they just want to get a rise out of you that is all.
2006-08-30 12:16:47
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answer #10
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answered by Needstoknow 2
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