I was molested almost a year ago. I lost my sister because it happened. The guy who did it is my sister's boyfriend & she's still with him. I haven't talked to my sister since last year. Nobody did anything cuz I was drinking(I was under age) He didn't get arrested or anything. Now my sister is telling my parents dat I had sex with my bestfriend. My parents no longer believe me. I've tried therapy so I wouldn't think about it as much, dat didn't work. The longest I sleep is 5 ahours a night, I still have nightmares about it. Now I don't feel comfortable with guys.
2006-08-30 11:23:08 · 10 answers · asked by boricua_baby718 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your parents no longer believe you for reasons you have not mentioned, so
1. quit drinking and no drugs or cigarettes
2. finish school with good grades
3. get back on the social scene in a few years after you are in control of your life
2006-08-30 11:29:25 · answer #1 · answered by waplambadoobatawhopbamboo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I'm so sorry this happened.
I know it seems like therapy didn't work, but at this point, that is about the best thing for you. You don't mention church, but that can help as well. Sexual abuse isn't something you get over in a year.Your sister is exhibiting typical denial behavior. Until she comes to terms with it, there's not much you can do, as far as that goes.
You can start by going to a trusted adult, whether it is a relative, or a teacher at school, and explain to them what happened.There are also some good websites out there that can help.
Your first priority right now is healing yourself. It takes a lot of time, and a lot of caring, but it can happen.
As far as being comfortable with guys, that's normal. Healing will help that.
2006-08-30 11:41:19 · answer #2 · answered by Bren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You problem is a bit complicated and your worn is too deep. I suggest you move out and staying on your own but keep in contact with your parents. This may help you to rebuild yourself. Join a group of friends or go the the church. You may find peace there. But try not to disclose anything to a third party. Cos if he is a guy, and if he is not on good mind, he may take advantage of you. No disclosure, the past is a past cos you can't change it anyway. Live a new life and a new identity. Try to occupy your day fully into varies activities or work so that at the end of the day, you are too tired to think about anything. This will help you to a good sleep. Tell yourself that it is just a path of life and it is just that you are a bit unfortunate then others. The earth still turns, things still on the move, so why choose to grief for so long. Choose to live on the happy side of life cos life just past without our knowledge. Before we realise, we are all to old to regret.
2006-08-30 11:56:27 · answer #3 · answered by dolphin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Molest is something that can take lots of time and if you feel you didn't have the right therapist try another one. You appear to still be having lots of post traumatic stress from the terrible ordeal. I'm sorry that your sister is still with him and that support you might of otherwise had with her isn't there as well. I would suggest using a journal as often as you have a nightmare. Your feelings are important regardless if you were drinking or not. Your sister is telling your parents things to take the focus off of her guy. Hope this helps!
2006-08-30 11:40:56 · answer #4 · answered by Peace&Joy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your body and mind were both molested. The one by the boyfriend, the other by your family. You're not able to put all this behind you because your family is doing nothing to support you.
Maybe you should be taking steps to become an emancipated minor. With your background, I don't think you'd have any trouble getting accepted.
Is there no one else you can talk to...an aunt or a school guidance counsellor? You shouldn't be trying to go though this alone.
Too bad you can't sue your family for lack of emotional support. They need good swift kicks up their butts!
2006-08-30 11:33:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me, your story looks like a problem which needs an analysis of the family situation and of your position, state and part in the family and her and your history.
Your drinking experience shows, that there was another, more basic problem already before you were molested and before you started drinking.
I doubt there is an easy way to get out of your difficult situation. But it is not hopeless.
Do not expect and wait for any help from outside. Do not insist to accuse anybody or to get assistance against anybody. That's all waste of energy and time and doesn't really change the situation in your favour. Do not try to convince, teach or correct other people, devellop yourself, invest your time and talents in yourself.
Concentrate in building up your selfconfidence and selfestimation. It's nobody else than you to go your own way in your life and it's your life for ever.
Work on a plan not to run away but how to get out of your situation and to become sustainingly independent from your family, not prematurely but as soon as ever possible.
And when Your plan is ready, carry it out, step by step and do not let you discourage by interferences from whatever side or by whatever circumstances and obstacles.
By this, You will not only overcome your unlucky situation but also get the strength to manage your life by your own decisions and become the master of your own, including your sexual identity and gifts. You would have to do so even if your actual situation were to be comfortable and lucky. You have to grow up and become independent.
2006-08-30 12:22:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to go to the school's guidance counselor and she will get you in with a therapist. I know you said it didn't work before, but maybe you just didn't have the right one.Some therapist even come to the school to talk to you, so that you are in your own environment and feel more comfortable.
You need to not drink, it is a depressant and will make things even worse for you.
Feeling uncomfortable with guys at this point is normal, and it will fade with time.
As for your parents, let them think what they want. You look to yourself for approval, not them. Do everything that you can to gain their trust and if they still act like they don't trust you, so be it.
Get yourself help, make yourself srong and empowered over this, and you will have become a much better person for it.
2006-08-30 11:39:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dear little soul
u think too much about it . it happens and think that it might have ahppened to ur mother or garnad mother also and they all over come with this problem . guys have edge in sex and as they are outspken they lure kind hearted younger girls in their mischief its a part of life find ways to make few more friends and teach him a lesson in ur own unique way. if u become happy and dont show what u care about him anymore and he cannot make u sad in any way he is lost and u won the battle, whatever had happened it has happened u cant undo it but u can undo it by keeping urself happy .
try to understand that sex is part of life and it can be beaten by same hathiyar.
hope it works
2006-08-30 11:33:17 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
oh you poor thing, I'm sorry that happened to you. Would you try a womens shelter or a kids help phone line? I'm sure they'll listen and help get some closure on that awful chapter in ur life. My heart goes out to you
2006-09-04 01:23:20 · answer #9 · answered by babysweetvee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is not a very good sister if she doesnt believe you, that kinda sux, but if your parents dont believe you , then you have a family who you cant trust and that dont trust you. you need to find someone who does believe you and talk to someone that can help. im sorry to hear that because i dont know what i would do in that situation. hope you can find a way to help you, you will never forget it, and you need to sit down and have a talk with your parents and tell them you cant believe they dont believe you, and tell your sister to go to hell.
2006-08-30 11:42:44 · answer #10 · answered by kelley_blues26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋