Does he want to break up?

Question

I called and asked the guy Ive been dating (for a month) why he was being distant and unaffectionate the past 2 dates. In fact, in our last date he just gave me a peck on both cheeks instead of the usual kiss on the lips. He said he thinks things are going too fast between us. I was shocked and just ended the conversation. Days after he called to ask me if we're still on for our previously planned weekend trip, I said no. Then he said "Well you know my number, give me call", I said "No, I wont". After a week, he called twice but I didnt return any of his calls. My question is, what was those calls for when he was pulling away already?

Answer 1

all he said was things are moving to fast. so he wanted u to slow things up. it doesnt mean he doesnt like u. he just wanted to change the pace. dont be mean

Answer 2

Honey, you are way overreacting. You guys didn't break up. You slowed down. Which was the logical thing to do. He has every right to call you, but since you've been extremely rude to him for no good reason he must really like you. Now look, you were all in this relationship and so was he. But he saw that you were going down a dangerous road moving quickly and because he loves you so much he wanted to preserve your relationship by slightly slowing down a bit. It's not the end of the world, it's a start of a brand new land. He wasn't pulling away. Stop obsessing. Call him and apologize for being so rude. If he doesn't except your apology well I can't tell ya that I feel sorry for you because YOU messed this relationship and it's now yours to fix.

p.s. It kinda sounds like you're trying to find a way out. I hope you're not. You've found a good guy thats not worth loosing. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Run honey... If he's not actively pursuing you all the time, then he's not worth your time. Don't drive yourself insane by trying to figure out why he called those two times... maybe he was just lonely and you were convenient (harsh, I know... but possibly true). I personally don't like the way he responded to your answer of not going on a trip with him. I mean, he kisses you on the cheek, tells you you're moving too fast, and then expects you to go away with him for a weekend?... I don't know about you, but I'd feel like a booty call. I'm glad you said no... but his response seriously irks me... just let him go.

Answer 4

Maybe he was actually being honest; maybe he decided he wanted to move slower than you two had been.

Of course, the best way to find out would be to ask him, but you did that already and didn't believe the answer, so... I'm not sure what else to tell you.

Decide whether YOU want to keep going out with him. Are you OK with the idea that he's more comfortable with a slower progression? If you are, then you might as well respect his request and continue going out with him. If you're not OK with it -- and it sounds like you aren't -- then be honest about why, and break up with him.

... although perhaps you already did break up with him, considering you told him you won't call.

Rather than trying to reinterpret what he said, when his actions seem quite consistent with his statements, why not just take it at face value and behave according to what you yourself want?

I wish you luck!

Answer 5

Well for a start why did you say no to aweekend?!!!
i think its maybe a little of you being a little over paranoid maybe? dont look into it just ask right out 'look, i dont want to be lead along tell where this is going?' the worst thing he can do is say goodbye! theres nothing wrong with that, pleanty more fish in the sea...
ps the amount of time you have been going out shouldnt count you are still in a relationship! i was married after 6 months of meeting my hubby! make him be honest with you from the start!
good luck!

Answer 6

Well you assumed he was pulling away all he said things were moving alittle too fast for him. Maybe he got scared. You were the one who was abrupt and ending things. He did try to contact you after that that was a good time for you to ask him where his head was in the relationship instead of "pulling away" the way you did.

Answer 7

Call him back. See what he has to say. Give that weekend trip another go. He wasn't nessiserily pulling away, just wanted to slow things down a bit.

Answer 8

Okay...he probably didn't mean too fast like you are taking it. Instead of ending the conversation you could of asked him why he felt that way. Taking it too fast doesn't mean that he wants to end the relationship. He is probably thinking about you and misses your company that is why he is calling you. I would give him a call and talk about what is bothering you and him. :-)

Answer 9

Sounds like he is re-thinking the "we're moving too fast" plan and was trying to reconnect.

Or he just wanted his CD's back. Either way, if you are fine without him, and it sounds like you are, don't sweat giving him a call back. If he's just going to play games, he's not worth your time.

And what kind of a jerk says, "I want some distance." then wants to go ahead with a weekend trip? IDIOT! I hope you went on your trip without him and had a wonderful time.

Answer 10

It can get very confusing when you get mixed messages. I think I would want to know more about why he thinks your are going too fast. Some people try to avoid the sexual connection due to religious reasons or parental pressures. Your boyfriend knows these answers and it is important for you to know why so you can respond correctly. Hope this helps!

Answer 11

Guys are selfish, he is pulling away but expects you to be with him but now that you are not returning his calls he realizes that you could possibly being going the other way. He doesn't really want you to go but he wants to have his cake and eat it too. I've been in the same situation. He could also be insecure that you are now seeing someone else and he does not want that.