He can't talk to me?

Question

Ever since me and my boyfriend were faced with our first problem, i tried to talk it out with him, but he refused to discuss the issue and wouldn't respond to anything i said. I know guys have problems opening up but he wouldn't even talk!Ever since this incident about 3 weeks ago, things haven't been the same, as he won't talk to me! All of a sudden he says he is too nervous to talk to me and has a 'mind block' when he tries, yet weve been together 5 months!! He told me that he is 'so in love with me' but he can't get past this. He keeps asking for 'another chance', but still can't talk to me at all, i mean we were so close and now all i get is a 'hi'.!It's bizarre. I just don't feel the same anymore, and it's really upset me. but i can't bring myself to dump him although i know i should.Please help!!

Answer 1

He obviously has trouble dealing with important issues. For whatever he feels like he's let you down or that he thinks there is no way to continue the relationship. Clearly you are ready to forgive and get past whatever happened, but he might just take a little longer to get all his ducks in a row. He could also be ready to call it quits but is just to much of a loser to get the guts and tell you the relationship isn't working out. In which case he's holding on until you get sick of all the confusion and indecision.

Here is my advice to you: Tell him you've tried to make the effort several times to work things out, but there's only so many times you can be the one to make the first step. If he wants to continue the relationship and have an adult conversation then he's going to have to be the one to make the first move. After that tell him you are going to give him space to think things over and when he's ready to talk, tell him to give you a call. It may be tough, but DON'T CALL HIM!!!! If he truly is sorry and loves you like he says then he'll either be ready to talk right away or will call you relatively quickly, within a day or maybe two. If he doesn't call you within 4 or 5 days, a week MAX, then call him to talk about it and if he's still not ready, then I suggest you move on. You're too young and have a lot of good things ahead than to be worried and stressed out for a little boy who doesn't know what he wants.

Answer 2

I don't think you should have to dump him, because that is what is expected. It actually sounds like he is dealing with something that he can not talk about it. As much as people hate to hear it, I am thinking a counselor or therapist would do him a world of good. There is always the chance that whatever is really bothering hm has absolutely nothing to do with the two of you anyway. I don't know what the problem is of course that you were having, so I may not be accurate in my assumptions... don't jump the gun here, and see if he would be willing to talk to someone else, if he isn't yet willing to talk to you. It may not be exactly what you want, but at least he will be getting help. That should make you happy all the same. Good Luck

Answer 3

Yeah, yet more beneficial frequently than not in basic terms to not sense awkward. i am going to assert the most random issues in basic terms so there is not an ungainly pause in a verbal replace. i have self assurance like i must annoy some human beings because of it. I in basic terms hate the sensation of being to blame for a persons'' boredom. I in simple terms extremely attempt this with acquaintances.

Answer 4

I seem to have a different opinion than the others. I say let it go, if he doesn't want to talk about it, he doesn't. He may have certain issues that would cut him deeply, and he just can't handle it.
That's just the way he is. You either accept that fact, and go on, or you just break up with him.
It is a simple fact of life, women love to talk things out, men don't. Yes we are from different planets, Venus and Mars.
I suspect that if you stop nagging him, and to me, that's what you are doing, he may open up on his own. But he never will, if you keep hounding him to do so.
So find some other way to handle the situation, the one you are using just now, isn't working. In fact, you are making him worse.

Answer 5

Painful as it is, you have to either confront him, or cut the strings loose completely. It's hard, but in the end, it'll be better for the both of you. And even if it's NOT for the both of you, at least you'll be fine and dandy knowing you had the strength to make your needs known.
And this 'incident' doesn't help us because it's not specific. Elaboration does wonders for your replies.

Answer 6

maybe you should let him open up himself don't pressure him as that can make men run a mile let him come to you in his own time and tell him that the problem is bothering you but if it continues if he hasnt talk to you soon tell him whats point in being in a relationship if you cant talk about the problems that you face in a relationship if he does whatever he is done again then definatly walk away i guess i did something to betray your trust good luck i hope you get it sorted out

Answer 7

Sounds like a lot of maturity is required, both of you.

Answer 8

i think that you should break up with him, b4 he breaks up with you...maybe unfortuantley, he got tired of you after 5 months..he may even be cheating on you..i'm so sorry..but this guy sounds way weird...

Answer 9

you need to be more understanding to him , men have wants and needs and remember you are just a woman and he is a man

Answer 10

then you start talking to him till he says some thing.