CRITICAL!...How do you increase self-esteem in a 5 year old girl?

Question

I have a 5 year old little girl who is showing signs of low self-esteem. She's beautiful, intelligent, very tall for her age and just a little overweight. I wish I could show you a picture of her. She is beautiful. She is way ahead of her kindergarten class because she's already had 2 years of schooling. Her father is 6'5, so she is very tall. She is the tallest in her class. We are working to control her weight. We eat healthy with lots of fruits and veggies. We cut the fried foods and sugar and we are walking 30 minutes everyday. In our house, we make sure not to talk about weight. Our excuse for walking is because it's healthy. No one that I know of has ever said the negative things about her that she says about herself. A few days ago she asked me, "Why am I so ugly?" This morning she said, "Everybody's clothes are better than mine." We just went shopping less than a week ago and found some great clothes. Do you know what I can say to her? Do you have any ideas what to do?

Answer 1

Oh the fun begins, school starts, your angel is being corrupted. Support her, if your up to different clothes, have her pick them out. Talk to others in front of her and tell them how wonderful she is with school, helping, make her feel so good about herself! Your support and positive comments will boost her esteem. Good luck!

Answer 2

Other children are soooo cruel - remember when you grew up etc!!??!! Give her lots of love and lots of attention - try to find out who is saying that she is ugly - go to the teacher if you have to, bus driver, street attendant whatever. This has to stop now - big kids are meaner than dirt - been there - I have a teen that has been wearing the same size since 5th grade - she is 15, short etc. She holds her own - she's a flaming B****!!! They leave her alone now - took a couple of years. The only reason she is saying about the clothes is because maybe she does not have the NAMED BRAND crap that they wear. Don't worry Mom, you are doing right - as for the weight thing - girl - she is only 5!!! If she is farther ahead of other kids - check with the school - my daughter went to what they called a "split class" 1st grade in the a.m., 2nd grade in the p.m. They also do it for kindergarteners too. Best of luck and give her lots of kisses and hugs AND encourage everything that she does. SEMPER FI

Answer 3

Little girls even as young as five can be bitchy and someone may have said something to her about her weight. We don't expect it from little kids, but unfortunately it's everywhere in the media and kids pick up on the subtle messages and not so subtle messages.

Are her clothes different from her classmates in some way? Kids even at the age can be label consc ious, they learn it from their older brothers and sisters.

As for her low self esteem, she needs to become accomplished at things that will make her proud of herself. Small risks that to a kid are huge. You'll know what that could be.

You might even monitor your conversations about beauty and good looks , even your weight because little kids hear parents making comments. Like oh is that woman beautiful or built . Or that woman is so ugly because she is ..... and you fill in the blank. We often say things without ever thinking. Even about our own weights, especially women, we inadvertently teach our daughters the self hatred because we hate and make demaning statements about ourselves.

When she gets a good grade or does something kind , praise her . Not with something physical but say how proud you are and what a beautiful, kind , wonderful thing to do...etc.

Catch in the small moments when she thinks you're not paying attention to the things she does and praise her.

Talk to her about people who may not be traditionally beautiful like Eleanor Roosevelt who have achieved wonderful things. Do it subltly.

As she gets older she'll learn to appreciate her height if she grows and if she doesn't she's wonderful just as she is.

Good luck.

Answer 4

aw that made me feel really bad when she asked those questions. you should tell people like family members and friends to remind her how pretty she is like behind her back just say something like can you just tell my daughter how beautiful she looks and complement her clothes and stuff. bc people think it just usually don't say it. im sure shes pretty and im sure she has nice clothes thats really sad though i feel so bad. when i read that it made my heart drop. you can say that she isn't ugly she is beautiful and about her being tall tell her that all the fashion models have to be tall. and about her clothes... show her picture of mary kate and ashlee.. their clothes are like rags . so maybe thatll show her that you don't have to wear super nice clothes to be popular and cool . tell her that she is a nice person nd in the end caring and kindness is much more important than silly clothes. or tell her that in a few years she won't even remember what clothes she wore. every day just make it a point to complement something like her shirt or shoes or her hair. and definitly say how beautiful she is like WOW you are so pretty today. she probably doesn't understand now what i would understand if someone told me so its hard bc shes still little. aw i hope she gets more self confidence. thats realyl a shame. and the food thing... if shes eating healthy and working out and shes still ya know... not fat but shes still got meat on her bones... dont sweat it beause if shes eating healtthy and stuff theres nothing more you can do. and she probably will grow out fo that baby fat anyway. just don't let it lead towards an eating disorder. aw good luck and i hope she gets through this.

Answer 5

sounds like the kids at school are saying mean things, making her feel bad. doesn't help that commercials and magazines show kids what is "in", or "not cool". =T what's sad is that this behavior usually happens in jr. high/high school, not kindergarten!! :( i feel for you.

first of all, i think ur outlook on life and ur children and family is AWESOME. if only other parents would be as supportive and healthy conscious and caring as you! perhaps u can encourage her to become part of some kiddie sports. 1) that will help her exercise more, and 2) probably make more friends in a closer setting. the more friends, Good Friends, she has, the better she will feel about herself.

also, try to make sure at least at home, that u tell her you love her, think she's beautiful, take lots of pictures, and just hug and care for her. spend lots of time w/ her...even if her peers at school neglect her, at least she can count on you to come home to and be positive with! encourage her to seek what is positive, healthy and happy in life. if anyone makes her feel bad or says anything mean, tell her to come and talk to you about it. that way, u can kinda judge which people in the class she needs to stay away from. the good kids, invite them over, and have play dates so the kids play, and u can talk with the parents. that way, the closer she gets to the "good", nice kids, the more she will learn to ignore and stay away from the "mean" kids.

good luck! the only thing u can do is encourage.i always feel that peers are a HUGE thing in a child's life; they can influence like no one else, not even a good family sometimes. therefore, u have to teach the child Independence, love, honesty, respect, to Choose well, make good decisions, figure out what is Happy and Positive, and what is Negative, and to distance herself from anyone or anything that makes her feel badly.

Answer 6

Continue 2 tell her she's beautiful.....congratulate her when she gets good grades or does something good. try lettin HER pick out what clothes she'd like to buy...if that doesnt help, maybe u should consider takin her 2 a counselor.

Answer 7

Continue to shower her with wonderful compliments, but a girl gets her self-esteem from her dad. So you have to have the dad get involved and spend more time with her and give her more specific compliments.