well i am going thru divorce and his child continued to live with me, which is fine ( I loved her as one of my own) well she has been going thru some rough times lately and started experimenting on things that EVERY teenager does so I dont blame her for that. I called her father to come and get her and tell him I can't be responsible anymore for her actions... 1)she isn't technically MY DAUGHTER and 2) I have another daughter that I have to be responsible for...Well she was very insistant that she didn't want to live with her dad before all this started but I felt as though she started taking advantage of me? When I told her it was my choice she said she never wanted me in her life again..THAT HURT cuz I thought i was doing what I could to keep her happy and she came back yesterday to get some more of her stuff and didn't say a word to me... did i do the right thing by making her go with her dad? I loved her as she was my own, but the decisions she started making effected all of us???
2006-08-30 10:30:25 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
yes you did the right thing, you made the adult descision.
she needs to understand you only did it because you care and have her best interests at heart.
the dad should be thanking you aswell for helping keep HIS daughter on the straight and narrow.
when my parents divorced i found it hard to cope and it seems that (even tho you are not her biological mum) you care for her alot, and she should realise this, it just seems her way of coping is lashing out.
i really hope everything works out for you :)
2006-08-30 10:41:17 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did not Say what age she is or what grade she is in. But, having raised 4 teenagers to adulthood, I guess it's that 14 to 23. I do not know how long you have been a significant person in her life either. but if she ever loved you and ever respected you, she will again. I hope her dad can give her the structure that she needs.
Being consistent with all aged kids is a key. I'd recommend you check out Dr.Phil's site.
Good Luck
2006-08-30 10:40:25 · answer #2 · answered by Makingwishes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel guilty. Teenagers can be selfish and say stupid things. They always think that they're entitled to everything and they are invincible and can get away with everything they do. Look, if she behaved in the first place, would you be taking her back to her dad? Of course not. It was her choice to destroy the relationship she had with you, and it would be unfair to your real child to try to fix your ex's childs problems and devote all your time to just her.
Time for her dad to step in. You did the right thing!
2006-08-30 14:22:55 · answer #3 · answered by the_memory_of_ashes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you're dealing with is a heart ruin. Having properly-known somebody for 8 / 9 years, falling in love and then having to shrink off all communique is rather perplexing to do. It feels very unhappy and lost now. And all your theory technique i see above isn't something yet commonly used and protecting directly to desire, whether assumed or flase it is helps us tide over the region. it could ensue to any individuals further. yet what you ought to comprehend is it must be over. enhance another hobbies, circulate away for a pair of days to sparkling your head, settle for the region because it is. do no longer carry directly to the desire you the two will reunite. If it occurs stable, if it would not ensue then very stable. perhaps you the two weren't destined to be mutually. perhaps the single you will finally be consistently with is there waiting for you! each and all the main suitable.
2016-10-01 02:38:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to pray. God is the only cure for the problems you are having. He will not let you down. I will pray for you, I promise. Find a Bible somewhere, and read. If you ask God to forgive you for everything you have ever down wrong, He will give you eternal life in heaven. He will never leave you and will help you through these hard times. I hope and pray that you find answers to your questions soon. God Bless You!
2006-08-30 10:41:45 · answer #5 · answered by Maedhros 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a daughter I can tell you that we are always going to do silly things like that but she will get over it. Just let her cool down becuase this is a hard time for her and the rest of the family
2006-08-30 10:37:36 · answer #6 · answered by Maribel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you did the right thing for you. If you are not her legal guardian, her father is responsible for her anyway. Having another child in your home (espcially if they are younger) will mimic everything she does. You are better off and ahead.
2006-08-30 10:37:25 · answer #7 · answered by brokenheartsyndrome 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I feel you did right. Technically (unless you legally adopted her) he is legally responsible for her. I know it hurts (I went through a similar thing). She knows that you love her and she will come around eventually.
2006-08-30 10:44:53 · answer #8 · answered by Slickchick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you did the right thing,you cant be responsible for her actions if she decides to bring "things"in the house that can cause you and your family harm or trouble.she will realize this one day i hope and hope she apologizes for her actions.
2006-08-30 10:39:42 · answer #9 · answered by strange_busaman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did you do that??? you took her and she honesly told you that she didn't want to live with dad.. She though that you loved her... so what actions areyou talking about her??? and yeah you made the choice of not have her there anymore and she told you that she never wanted you in her life again.. you have hurt her first and thinking about you and your own blooded daughter??? wow so nice....
I have care about someone who is not my real daughter. but I treat her as my own... no matter what.
Really what you did you made the choice and not want to take her own actions. and You never sit down and tell her what the plm???? wow, you do with your blooded daughter to sit down and tell about the plm but not her??? whoa. you have lost her for good, lost her trust in you, lost the love in you, even lost life with you. did you ever talked about this did you ever asked her if she want to go back to her dad??? No she already told you that she didn't want to live with her dad anymore.
How can you love her as she was my own???? wow, lady, why did you took her in first place??? so you can keep in touch with him?? all about you and her dad.. Nothing about you and her..
I have step sister and step brother... guess what after my mom divorce him and I want to see my sister and brother and I went there to drop off christmas and guess what oh my freaking god place was horrible and bad and their dad drinking plm.. house was not clean.. SO my mom and I left and hear them saying pls don't leave us.. My mom didn't want to hear it and I told my mom, they needed us. she said don't have money I have ssi right help them too. I was only 12 years old.. I care about them and she agree and later their dad came and asked if they want to live with him agian and yes they did and told me didn't know what to do with my mom.
I told them don't worry I take care. and My mom came home and wondering where are they I told her that they went back to their dad. Why in the world I waste my time and all that??? You didn't waste yoru time... I didn't either because we love them as my own brother and sister and you don't seem to care as your own. all it about money, time, etc.
If she made the choice to live iwth dad then diffent story but you made her go live with her dad that she didn't wnat to.. You really broken her heart. again she lost your trust, etc.. so many to list. but oh well, she will never forgive you anymore. and I do feel sorry for her not you. peroid plain and simple did you talk to your own blooded daughter about this. NOPE you didn't.
2006-08-30 11:21:42 · answer #10 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋