Hi I'm 31 and had sex with a few different women but never really had a lasting sexual relationship. I've started seeing a girl I like but worried about my lack of experience and knowing what to do, been with her a couple of times and haven't come. Even gone soft when she's on top. I'm worried my libido is low too due to this, don't get hard in the mornings for example. What advice do you have?
2006-08-30 10:02:59 · 49 answers · asked by rockinrobin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
blue pill
2006-08-30 10:08:01 · answer #1 · answered by gw123456 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Noticing that you are 31 the first thing I would do is to make an appointment with an Urologist. Remember all males are different.
At 31 I was in my prime so to speak. If you are on medication that will make a big difference in your libido, and in your soft erections. The chemistry may not be there for you with your date, and that in itself if a big difference in your erections. Too much wine, or any other type alcohol will deter your ejacualations.
You have really answered your own question! "worried about lack of experience". I would be honest with her about your situation and make sure you tell her that it has nothing to do with her. Try and forget that you feel inadaquite (sp). Another "biggie" is oral sex. That is if she is in to that. Remember if that happens 95% would like the same. You never mentioned her age.
Good luck, and please relax...Remember chemistry, communication, laughter, a good meal, but no immediate sex after a meal. Leave the candles burning, and take them to the bed room, in fact you may not make it that far. Rody_o is pulling for you. "Been there, done that".
2006-08-30 10:22:17 · answer #2 · answered by virginiamayoaunt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think there's something wrong. like a libido that's too low, you should see your doctor. But, sometimes just being nervous can have an effect on guys like that. The best thing is to have an open relationship. Weird things can happen during sex and it's completely normal, you need to treat it with a sense of humor. If you're going soft while she's on top, she could be moving so little that it's not enjoyable for you.
2006-08-30 10:09:17 · answer #3 · answered by elisebri 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Practice, of course, but maybe you should see a doctor to make sure that everything is ok down there. Who knows maybe your libedo is ok, and the stress of you thinking you cant' preform is making you not preform! I know that when my boyfreind and I first started having sex, he was very nervous and had trouble getting hard, but that was only because I was a virgin and he didn't want to hurt me. However, stress in sex, is stress in sex...if your nervous for some reason, you are going to have a hard time being horny!! However, sense you dont' get hard in the mornings, that might suggest a pyscial problem, unless of course you stress about not having good enough sex even at night!
*Just go see a Proffesional*
ps In my sexual relationship the thing that makes it all work wonderful is our great communication. Dont' be embarrased to communicate to each other what you want, or ask her how she might want you to move to for her to feel good. Encourage her to do the same!
2006-08-30 10:11:25 · answer #4 · answered by Green Tea Happy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you're stressing out too much. Understandably you are self-conscious which is natural if you haven't slept around alot. Don't be ashamed, your girl will probably be impressed that you haven't shagged an army of woman. Just tell her about your anxiety - if she's worth it, she'll understand and you can take things nice and slow. I agree with another answerer, have a little wine and watch some porn. Massage. Concentrate on all that and the foreplay and let sex be the final last reward.
2006-08-30 10:09:54 · answer #5 · answered by Nikita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 31, I honestly do feel that your situation is a bit unusual. Don't take this the wrong way, but are you sure that you're hetero? If you've been able to become aroused with other women, I guess we can rule that one out. So, my best advice to you would be to see a doctor, maybe a urologist. There might be a perfectly logical medical reason for your situation and you can be functioning normally in no time at all.
Good luck!
2006-08-30 10:08:25 · answer #6 · answered by SuzeY 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all you shouldn't worry and think about not performing cause when you do think about it and worry about it....you are not going to give it all your best. Just let it go with the moment and try forplay with her. Also there are books out there to read. But again, if you don't think or worry about this, you just might have a better time and last longer while having sex.
2006-08-30 10:08:11 · answer #7 · answered by socuteandsexy30 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Practice, use erotica, don't think too much but touch a lot. Massages, baths together, oral or hand stimulation instead of intercourse to begin with so you get comfortable. Also, do you drink a lot because that can affect your libido tremendously? Have a chat with your doctor for reassurance.
2006-08-30 10:10:23 · answer #8 · answered by puzzledfemale! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A friend of mine sells vibrating pumps that give the penis a little work out!
Useful for people with a lack of libido or semi impotence.
If you want any info on this... Email me!
2006-08-30 10:09:18 · answer #9 · answered by Back Row Kiss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought that you had to be in a certain sleeping position to get morning glory?
That aside there are a lot of great books out there check out the following authors:
Betty Dodson
Lou Paget
Tracy Cox
Have you sat down and discussed this with your girlfriend?
Maybe it is something psychological?
I wish you well.
2006-08-30 10:28:07 · answer #10 · answered by Amazing Magenta 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think lack of experience is the problem here. I think you are worrying about it too much.
Speak to your doctor & ask for some relaxation techniques & have your blood pressure checked.
I am sure it is a fairly minor problem which seeking reassurance from your docto will help immediately.
2006-08-30 10:09:16 · answer #11 · answered by monkeyface 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋