been together for 13 years and have 3 children
2006-08-30 09:41:56 · 13 answers · asked by amy h 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
you dont.
you cant help an addict until they are ready to get help & ready to deal w/ the problem.
if you are in a relationship where he is sleeping w/ other women, you are exposing yourself to STDs, and your children are not in a healthy environment when he's drinking or using.
I cant tell you to leave, but I can tell you to take care of yourself. You need to go to Al-Anon or Narc-Anon. They will educate you on how to deal w/ your partner & make wise decisions.
2006-08-30 09:48:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU may not be able to help this person. He is the user, and is a constant danger to you and the kids.
The way you state your question leads me to believe that you are more concerned that he goes to another woman than you are about his drug use. You even say it outright when you point out that the problem is that he "hurts your relationsip."
The drug use takes "relationship" right out of the picture. Even HE recognizes that much because he leaves when he uses.
He needs to seek out help. You can't make him go. He can promise all he wants. He can even walk in the door and sit with a counselor, but if HE doesn't want to get off the junk, it won't happen.
What's needed is for YOU to get the help needed to get you and the kids away from what relationship you think you have left. You have got to protect yourselves. Think about the diseases he may be bringing into the household via his drug use and those other women.
Find yourself a counselor.
2006-08-30 17:14:37 · answer #2 · answered by Vince M 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. An addict needs help from a professional specialized in that field. If the addict doesn't want help, then you have decisions to make pertaining to the relationship and your children.
2006-08-30 16:49:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Professional intervention is probably in order, perhaps Catholic Social Services, a 12 step program, or a similar dedicated organization if money is an issue. Just remember that you will not be able to help him until he decides that he needs and will allow help, so probably the focus should be guiding him toward that realization.
2006-08-30 16:54:34 · answer #4 · answered by Traveller 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have to help themselves and I think your involvement with him after this long is down to low self esteem. How can you offer your children a decent life with someone who won't help? It is seriously time to consider your own and your children's needs; not his. It seems everyone is concerned with him (including himself). Aren't there enough people centered on him?
Go get someone who wants to help you build and share a good life.
2006-08-30 16:50:03 · answer #5 · answered by hopflower 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. You dump him and get on with your life.
You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.
It's like banging your head against a brick wall and wondering why you have a headache.
You take your kids and get somewhere safe.
2006-08-30 16:48:41 · answer #6 · answered by Motherof2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i feel for you ..my cousin has been a addict for 31 yrs ..she is 48 yrs old..she was in rehab when , she was on cocaine and crack so bad ..she lived at her daughters for 2 yrs ..people would send her pills by mail ..she came to my house and went on methadone and she is into them xanax ..which , she did not need either.. they
2006-08-30 20:47:38 · answer #7 · answered by CuddlyHotGuy38ForYoungerSwf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only person you can help is yourself try going to a codependents anonymous meeting and get some support for yourself it worked for me
2006-08-30 21:12:14 · answer #8 · answered by mochi.girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. Take your kids and run, Honey! Before thise guy destroys all of you along with him!
2006-08-30 16:49:01 · answer #9 · answered by Tigger 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about the 3 kids, but if you stay with him you are a doormat, in fact, champion of all doormats.
2006-08-30 16:48:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋