Does getting a puppy cure "baby fever" for a little while?

Question

I'm halfway through a 4 year university pursuing a Nursing degree, living with my fiance, we're happy and doing well. The problem is this damn urge I get to be a mother... I know this is COMPLETELY irrational and a very bad time to have a baby and trust me WE'RE NOT TRYING. It's just so strange, when I see a toddler or a pregnant woman I almost get jealous and I need to somehow stop this drive inside me because it is not a good thing at this point in our lives. (It also doesn't help hearing how much each of our parents can't wait ti be grandparents - mine are already planning where to build the swing set !)
Please don't give me any speeches about how much work kids are etc etc.... I realize all of these things and that's why I want this issue to stop. If we had a baby now we wouldn't be able to give it the best life possible, and that doesn't seem right to me.
Anyone with this same problem : what did you do to hold of this feeling for a few years? Would getting a puppy help?

Answer 1

Well, I already have two kids (2 1/2 years old and 14 months old), but every month when I ovulate, I have one or two days where I want to claw my eyes out because the baby fever is so bad, LOL. When this happens, my husband just reminds me of how both of our sons were colicky as newborns, and also reminds me how I'm getting a full night's sleep now, and that usually does the trick. :D

Do you not have children yet period, or you have one and want another? If you don't have kids yet, PLEASE WAIT PLEASE WAIT PLEASE WAIT!!!!! I really don't think I can tell you anything about a newborn that would dissuade you to not try yet. Plus, if you're going for a 4 year degree, you must be striving to be an RN? Good for you! Nurses rock. My grandmother is an RN/Anesthetist (retired now, of course) and I have many aunts who are also RNs.

The thing is, you can't know how seriously awful it is to have to get up every two hours to feed a crying baby and then try to get him back to sleep until you actually experience it, so telling you about the not-so-fun parts of parenthood won't work. There were some nights where I got about 90 minutes sleep total. (And no, regular old insomnia isn't the same, so nobody can compare them. :))

My only advice to you is--it's going to be two more years roughly, right? Concentrate on your studies, doing well, passing your boards, THEN try for a baby. Is there any way you can take an accelerated program? Or go to school during the summer semester to make it pass even faster? Graduating with a nursing degree is your golden ticket, and you will be SO glad you did, and will be able to support your baby and not have to scrape by to make ends meet because you're working some lousy $10.00 per hour job because you couldn't finish college.

I know...IF YOU TRULY LOVE YOUR YET-TO-BE-CONCEIVED BABY, FINISH SCHOOL! (Eh, I thought maybe guilt might work. :))

Answer 2

Don't have a baby, please. And don't have a dog. A dog is 500 times easier than a baby for a start. I laugh every time I hear someone say "well, I've had a dog so I'm ready for a baby." there's no comparison. Generally all you have to do for a dog is make sure there is food, water and let it out every now and again. A baby is round the clock, 24 hour work. There's no rest. And let me tell you, babies don't stay that little cute baby forever - yeah you'll always think your childs cute but its different. That first year its all "awww" then they start walking.. and getting into everything.. and screaming. The fact you said you don't wanna be responsible for a dog, I'm not sure why you're asking the question. It goes without saying, obviously if you're not willing to be responsible and take care of it, don't get one.

Answer 3

Don't get a puppy. If you are going to do that you just as well have a baby. Animals are a lot of work and can be in your family as long as a child or longer. Why not volunteer some time in a newborn nursery or NICU.

Answer 4

A puppy is great, but also takes a great deal of time and attention to train, so I'm not sure the timing is good for a puppy either. I wanted a baby very much when I was first married. But we ended up waiting almost 10 years (I was 33 when my daughter was born). By then we were both finished with school (me a BA, my husband a Ph.D.) We also both had steady jobs, owned our own home, and had our student loans and credit cards all paid off. We did get 2 puppies about 2 years before our daughter came along. So, remember that life is a journey and enjoy your time with your soon to be husband and beginning your life together. This is probably a phase that will pass. But you should talk with your fiance too, because you need to share your feelings. Good luck!

Answer 5

You should get a puppy! That sounds like a win-win-win situation all around. Your maternal instincts are kept in check for a little while (dogs are so dependent), a shelter animal gets a good, permanent home, and your future baby/ies will have an opportunity to learn how to respect and love animals from the beginning.

Good luck!

Answer 6

For some it does. For some it doesn't. I would definately try the puppy first! It's much cheaper!! (My husband & I got the fever. The dog helped for the first two years, then we had a baby.)

Answer 7

I don't know if it will 'help', but the timing is good for getting a puppy when you can devote alot of time to them. Puppies and babies do not do well together because you won't be able to spend enough time with the puppy to love them, train them, etc and you could end up with a problem dog who is very jealous of your children.

Answer 8

My husband and I had trouble conceiving for the first two years of our marriage. Getting a cat helped, but only it did not completely take away the urge to have a baby. I was fine until all of my friends and co-workers started having babies. Getting a puppy may help even more because they are so dependent (compared to a cat).

Answer 9

It helped me for at least a year and a half..try it and see if it works for you. Taking care of a puppy will be a lot of work, they are very dependant like a child so it will help take the urge away from being a mom for a while at least.

Answer 10

It helped me. My husband and I were expecting, and we lost it due to Down's. We decided we were too old for kids--we didn't want to take a chance on any more genetic problems, and I have other health problems. A few months later, we got a dog. I know it's not the same, but she is our baby, and it has helped a lot.

Answer 11

I got the "urge" when I turned 30, but was in no position to start a family. I did get a puppy and it really helped, but everyone is right in reminding you that a dog is a HUGE responsibility. You can't pick up and go on vacation, you can't be out all day/night without always concerning yourself w/ your dog's needs. Dogs require more than just a bowl of food and a couple of walks throughout the day, so make sure you really look at your and your fiance's schedule to see if you have the time to devote to it. It would also be great to adopt a dog from a shelter, as there are so many that need good homes. Your urges for motherhood are not "irrational." It's called your biological clock and it's normal to want that but it is good that you realize the timing is not right at this point. I am so grateful I got my dog not only because she's great, but that's how I met my husband and we have an 8 mo. old baby now! Having dogs also helped prepare us a bit for the responsibility of having a child. However, it is VITAL that you properly train the dog because you can have problems with an untrained dog and a new baby in the house. The dog must always know that YOU are the boss of the house and that he/she must always submit to you, your fiance, and eventually the baby. When you hear these horror stories about dogs attacking babies, it is not a bad dog, but an owner who did not do his/her job w/ the training. Good luck!