If you're in a wedding, do you have to buy the couple a gift?

Question

I'm in my cousin's wedding, and am spending more money than I have on a dress and shoes, do I have go buy her and her new hubby a gift too?

Answer 1

Absolutely.

Answer 2

YES. She (or her parents) are paying for you meal and the cost of the whole event. You had a choice to say no to being her bridesmaid if you couldnt afford it. I did. I told my friend no cause I couldnt afford an expensive dress and then get a gift. So i went to the wedding as a regular guest and brought a gift. All guests (which is what you are if you arent the groom or the bride) must bring a gift. Any gift. Recommended gifts would be anything the bride registered for at stores or a nice card with money/check/gift card inside.

Answer 3

I'm sure your cousin understands that you are spending a lot to be in her wedding but you don't have to buy her an expensive gift just get her something thoughtful and from the heart you can find a lot of good ideas from wedding websites on creative gift giving

Answer 4

I am going to complain just a minute before I give you a gift idea.
Why does the bridesmaids and groomsmen have to pay anything? I don't think it's right! If you want someone in your wedding, then I think the expense of dresses and tuxs should be paid for them. My parents paid for my bridesmaids dresses, and I paid for the dresses for my daughter's wedding. Both time they were dresses that could be woren again. The dresses and tuxedos should be part of the expense in having a wedding. I think that to honor to be in a wedding is wonderful and very special, but then you got to pay for it. I had to buy a $185 dress for my cousin's wedding, $75 for the special slip $38 for the bra,
$50 shoes, $35 jewerly...$383 for a very ugly(forgive me Vicki it was) shoes that matched the dress I wore once again---to a Halloween party.....I am sorry but I think if you ask one,. should pay the expense....

Do you have a dollar world or a dollar tree, on the those everything is a dollar stores? Go buy some pretty soaps, bubble bath, bath crystal, (sometimes you can buy them in one of their wedding colors) Buy about 11 or 12 items to put in the basket, it doesn't all have to be bath stuff, a sponge, or bathbrush....if the dollar store don't have a pretty wicker basket, go spend about $3 on a basket at Wally's and buy a peice of material in the fabric department the main color of her wedding. $1. and pick up some fancy little chocolates $2,(look for them at the check-out counter)

$20 you got a nice pretty gift for the bride, I do this so much till all my friends have asked me to make them for gifts to give. I do them in all price ranges..I did one for a couple that have been married before, and were remarrying....2 wine goblets $2, a bottle of wine $13, bath stuff and pretty soaps $8 I add candles in green and peach $3, did the basket with the material and the candy....I didn't spend over $30 for everything, and the bride a good friend, said told me I shouldn't have spent so much on them....I asked her how much did she think spent, she said at least $75 or more....since she a GOOD friend I told her the truth.

You can personalize the basket, I put a carebears, horses, sailboats, lighthouses, and the funniest one I put in a set of handed cuffs....It's not a wallet breaker, and they are really nice, and it's a thoughtful gift, I have never had anything but complaints.......I wish you the best with the wedding, and so hoping you can wear the bridesmaid dress again...so at least it's money not totally lost, if it's something you can rewear, they make good Halloween costumes, and you know it's almost that time of year......

Answer 5

I would say no. I am not expecting gifts from my wedding party, but if they do get something for us, I will be delighted. But I can certainly appreciate the fact that it is expensive to be in a wedding!
If anything, maybe you should go in on something with the wedding party....like a big gift certificate to wherever they are registered. Just put in $10-20 per person, and give it as a group gift. Just an idea, if you'd like to do a little something, but not break the bank.

Answer 6

No Way! If she is a good person, she will understand that just because she is doing well financially, doesn't mean you are.
I paid for all of my bridesmaids dresses in my wedding, to help them out with the cost and show how much it meant to me that they were just there for me.
Marriage is about 2 lives joining, not 2 credit cards.
Show her your support and make her something.
After all, when the wedding is over, and she has all her gifts, she wont remember who bought her what anyway.
But she will always remember something that was hand made.

Answer 7

Yeah, it's pretty much part of the bargain. Last summer I was in *TWO* weddings and since I'm very good friends with the bride of the second wedding, I asked her if she and her fiance (now husband) would be offended if I took advantage of the debated tradition that says you have one year to send your gift. She looked at me and said "You're in wedding. That's gift enough." And she wouldn't hear of me getting her anything else. Not that that stopped me, but I felt I was able to balance my cashflow a bit better.

Another thing to remember with wedding gifts - you should NEVER spend more than you can afford. It is a gift, a token of congratuations and your love/support of the couple. Price shouldn't be at issue.

Answer 8

Yes, you certainly do! I'm in my bestfriend's wedding 9/2 and though I'm driving 4.5 hrs to be in the wedding, also had to rent a room for two days and had to purchase the dress, shoes,etc... You think it was expensive for you! lol

This is something you MUST consider when you're in a Wedding...that is your duty.

I'm giving my bestfriend & her Hubby One Hundred Dollars also...Have class...it's always remembered:-) I'm sure it helps a lil that I'm getting married 8/4/07~ What goes around comes around...even in the Wedding World! lol

Answer 9

you should probably give them a gift, however, that does not mean you have to go buy them something nor does it mean you have to give each a gift, you can do this as a whole.

my suggestion would be to make a small donation to a local charity in honor of the couple, the charity will usually be able to give you a card or certificate stating that a donation was made in honor of the couple. you do not have to donate a lot, you can even donate as little as $5. the gift card does not say how much was actually donated.

this way you have not only given a gift to the couple, but you have done a good deed and if you have enough exemptions you can use the donation on your tax return.

good luck and i hope this helps.

Answer 10

When I was planning my wedding all the etiquette books said that you have 1 year to give a present. If you are spending all that money on attire to be in the wedding and cant afford it just explain this to your cousin. You are obviously close enough to be in her wedding then you should be able to talk with her about this. We had a huge wedding party and my husband and I talked to each of them separately about this. We asked them not to give a gift. We were just honored that they agreed to be a part of our wedding.

Answer 11

Hi. First of all, are they aware that you can't really afford the things necessary to be in the wedding party? If so, then they will definitely understand you not being able to get them a present. If you are close enough to your cousin to where he/she asked you to be in their wedding, then you should be able to speak to them about this issue. If it is too embarrasing for you, then don't say anything and get them something that is not expensive, but that is from the heart. Maybe you can make them something. Or you may even give them a "Gift Certificate" for 1 day of doing laundry or cleaning the house or doing the grocery shopping for them. I mean you can get very creative with this and it will cost you virtually nothing. Good Luck.