My husband still thinks he is my baby's father........?

Question

I had an affair with my fellow employee, and didn't tell my husband. When we found out I was pregnat, my husband thought the baby was his, of course. My baby is now 15 months old, and starting to take on charachteristics of his biological father, who lives only a few blocks away from us. How do I keep my husband from suspecting anything, as my child grows more and more like his real father. Help me anyone! I am sorry for what i did, and love my husband to bits. Help me.

Answer 1

Don't tell him. The biological father is no more than a sperm donor--your husband is that boy's real father. He's the one who'll give him love and support throughout his life. Don't do anything to change that, or make him feel any differently about his son.

Answer 2

if he loves this kid he might just keep you around because of the kid. At least he will probably stay in the childs life. Depending on how much the child looks like this other guy I would just not say anything. Why tell them when it is just going to hurt so many lives? I have a father (he is not biological) he has raised me since I was 4. He is my dad period! Sometimes dna doesn't matter. If this marriage will last and their will be no more cheating, don't ruin it! Sometimes the truth is not the best way to go. I know I will get a lot of lip for this point of view but you dads out there with children you have raised for a year or two would you really want to know that it is not yours? I wouldn't. DON"T TELL!!

Answer 3

go on the maury show.He will help you to tell your husband and provide you with the choice of a paternity test.Whatever you choose to do he has the right to know that the baby may not be his.He all ready loves you and this baby just tell him the truth and work things out from there.If the other guy does'nt know this may be his child u should tell him also.Anyone who has a child deserves to know to decide whether they want apart in this babies life.if bio it is his he should know.I am not here to judge but i do wonder how you live w/the guilt.I had a boyfriend when i was 18 we were together for only 3 mths and i cheated on him.Right after i found out i was pregnant.I was 99%sure the daddy was my boyfriend.When i was 5 mths i just could'nt live w/the guilt anymore.We did'nt stay together for that and many other reasons.He denied my child got a paternity test and is a piece of crap daddy.I raised my baby on my own for a year and a half then i met my husband.I know it has to be eating away at you.I really do think you should just tell him.There is a child involved and everyone else in the situation has the right to know.I really hope all goes well w/you and your situation.

Answer 4

Marriages are founded on love, respect, and trust. How would you feel if you found out your husband had an affair and fathered a child outside of your relationship? Would you leave him? Would you accept the child as part of your life and family?

What about the child? Do you know if the true father has any genetic indicators that may lead to complication later in life--like what if your child needs a organ transplant or something of that nature? Or what if your child is genetically predisposed to a rare condition linked to the father? Do you think your child has the right to know who his/her biological parent is? How would you feel if you were the child?

Lastly, love and trust go hand in hand and a great deal of trust depends on if you can believe in the word of your mate. Do you think your husband will be more hurt that you lied to him or more hurt that you screwed around on him and then had a child that you lied about and let him believe was his biological child?

I guess it comes down to what would you do if the situation were reversed?

I suggest that you tell the truth, apologize, atone, and then accept the consequences for your own actions. That is what mature a mature adult woud do.

Do you really think you can keep this secret for the rest of your child's life?

Answer 5

Think of your son. He will want ask you in the future, "why don't I look like daddy?" it's true....
it will come out. It might as well come from you, early on. The more time it takes for you to tell this truth, the less impact it will have on everyone. Not to say it won't have a tremendous impact today, but not as much resentment. Imagine if you told your husband today, he could leave before he felt emotionally attached to your son. You never know, he may not even leave. Your son would grow up knowing the truth, and you could raise him to knowing this. Rather than your son finding out later, he would be emotionally ruined and be angry with you. Speak now...it's better for everyone's future. SO what if someone gets mad at you and is hurt, you are NOW thinking of the future if you speak NOW. I promise it will be better this way.

Answer 6

Sometimes the love bond between parent and child is stronger than blood. I don't think you need to tell your husband if it will only have negative effects. It seems that your husband loves the child and looks after him as a good father. Don't destroy that bond for the sake of your child and your husband. There are simply some secrets you keep in life for the good of everyone.

Answer 7

Own up to what you did. I have a friend in this exact situation just a few months down the road. He had an affair with a married coworker and she passed the kid off as her husbands. When she decided that the baby's father (my friend) couldn't see the kid anymore to risk her husband finding out, he took her to court for custody. So her husband found out. You never know when the real father is going to want his kid.

Answer 8

this is very hard act!
Your husband will know sooner or later. I guess you have to tell him but choose the right time and place to explode your bomb to him.
He will scream and may be hit the table, this is very normal in his situation. BUT, if he really loves you, he will stick by you and your son who has not done any fault.
The other difficult issue here is that other person living near to where you do. If you wish to keep your marriage intact, do move away from that house. I am assuming that the biological father does not know. He possible got his own family. In this case you will be destroying two families. If this is the case, Take your secret to your grave. Move away.

Answer 9

If this is an honest situation, then that just tells me you're a pathological liar when I look at your questions. Either way you're a liar. Below is the answer I would give to a person in the situation above.


OK you screwed up. Be honest with your husband otherwise you will feel guilty the rest of your life. Also, is there any possibility that your husband IS the father and you are imagining those characteristics because of a guilty conscience. You are going to have to suck it up and live with the consequences eventually. The truth about these things, they always come out.

Answer 10

I SMELL A RAT. In your other question, you say you're a student going to summer camp for several months with your girlfriends who like your male friend.

In a second one, you pretend to be the Virgin Mary and say you've only made love twice but somehow just found out you're pregnant.

In THIS question, you're a slutty girl who says she cheated on your husband and already has a 15month old baby who's from the neighbor down the block.

Either someone else is using your account and posting crazy questions, or you just like to make up really weird circumstances to get alot of attention.

Answer 11

I have to be honest with you,there's nothing you can do to change the way your child looks,and you should of told your husband about the affair when it happened and everything would of been easier on you.You need to tell your husband everything.He might leave you because you hid this from him for a year,but if his love is strong,he'll find it in his heart to forgive you eventually.You have to imagine yourself in his shoes....if he would of went out and had an affair and got the other woman pregnant and waited years later to tell you....what would u do and how would u feel?Regardless of anything you need to do what's best for your husband and your baby.Put your fears to the side and think of them.