I met the love of my life online about 7 months ago and he lives in FL. I live in AR. He has came up here many times and I just feel like he is the one for me and last week he asked me to marry him. I said yes but when we broke it to his parents and mine... all hell broke loose. They said we were too young, me having this year and my senior year of highschool left and him in college studying to be a doctor. I am 17 and he is 20. We love eachother so much and we already have a joint account and have our own home and I am living with him... but now that we are going to get married... well it just seems weard to my family... Do I go against my family or do I marry the love of my life?
2006-08-30 08:35:58 · 47 answers · asked by bombers_blue_gold 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry yall, I didn't get my facts straight... he now lives up here with me but is right now living in FL in a dorm at his college... he was here for the summer but had to go back down there when college started... and another thing that I didn't say earlier is that I am Pregnant
2006-08-30 08:56:27 · update #1
My family is happy that we are having a kid together and that I live with him but they don't want me getting married.
2006-08-30 08:57:54 · update #2
If he is truly the love of your life he'll wait. DO NOT GET married at your age...you'll regret it, I'm sure. I'm 30 and have had several men who I thought were the "love of my life". If I had married who I was with when I was 17 I'd be miserable. You will be surprised how much you grow and change in the next few years. Don't become old while you're still young!
2006-08-30 08:39:24 · answer #1 · answered by jojo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most people who rush to get married so young end up splitting up in a few years. My friend who was a freshman in college met the "love of her life" that year. Before junior year they got married. They just got divorced this past year. They were both too young to get married. They didn't experience life before taking that next step. I think that if they had waited and got to know themselves and each other better they would have never got married. You need some finacial advice as well. You really shouldn't have a joint account with someone unless you are married and still, the best thing to do is to always have your own personal account. You never know what will happen in the future. You may be left penniless and without a home. Hope that home you own together is signed in both your names. Good luck!
2006-08-30 08:44:44 · answer #2 · answered by LadyD1019 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is really love it can wait. And as stupid as it sounds it makes sense. I'm 19, getting married next month and as excited as I am I know I wouldn't have been able to do it at 17. I've been with the same guy for 3 years and have known him since I was 12. 7 months is the start, but there is nothing wrong with growing up and planning a wedding for 2 years off. Wait a while and see how things go. Being engaged doesn't mean you are getting married in a month. Just wait it won't hurt.
2006-08-30 08:40:38 · answer #3 · answered by onceuponatime 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at least some people in your family have brains, If you do get married I'll give you guys 2 years before divorce, Love takes time to grow and nurture, getting together here and there in no way represents life together every day of the year, let him get through college and his internships, which could be anywhere in the country not at home with you, then make an income before settling down, Ask yourself these questions: where will you live together? Where will your income come from? how will you deal with these stresses? I could ask a million questions like these, you should sit down with a marriage councilor together and have them figure out ways that young couple can survive marriage together, kind of a pre-emptive meeting. The divorce rate is over 50% mainly because people didn't think before they got married, I bet it's even higher for young couples
2006-08-30 08:48:34 · answer #4 · answered by mohvictor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can just have an extended engagement, say 3 years or so, their is no hurry tobe married, remember, more people get divorced in two years after getting married at an early age. Ask yourself what's the hurry? Is it because you want to have sex and are holding back until you are married, just have protected sex and get that part over with, if this is what's it's all about.
If it's not about sex and you have already had sex many times with him, then their is no rush. Really! Think about it. You have the rest of your lives to spend together. Go slow, tell your parents and his, that you are going to remain engaged for 3-4 years. Remember he's still got a minimum of 4 years a residency first before he has anytime to spend with you.
2006-08-30 08:44:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a question only you can answer. Think about your future as a couple. Think about what you want out of life, not simply the man you are engaged to. Does he fit into the "life" you want for yourself? Whether it be being a mommy or a career woman... or both at different points of your lives. Also, what kind of man is he? What is his character like? Does he have values that are important for today and your future? For example, if he thinks lying is no big deal, and it doesn't seem to be a problem today - think about the impact of that type of behaviour in your future and if you bring children into the world...
If you plan to have children, think about what kind of people your children will become by the influence of your and your husband - and how you two interact with each other.
My mother said two things about marriage: "Marriage is not about pleasure and love, it is about trust and respect", and second, "Marriage is about compromise - some couples do it well, others not at all... and it shows in how happy they are."
I have lived enough to know she was right.
Remember, only you can answer these questions because you know him best. And don't be afraid to admit you are making a mistake - if you come to the conclusion that this isn't really for you. Better than when you have children involved.
2006-08-30 08:44:11 · answer #6 · answered by nuovoterra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused. You say you have a home and are living with this man, but he lives in another state? I don't know the laws of AR & FL, but I believe you would need your parents' permission to marry if you are under age. Also, if you are underage you cannot enter into a contract (such as opening a joint account). I question why you are in such a hurry to get married. Finish high school, go to college and establish a career. Then, if you and this man are still together and want to marry, go ahead.
2006-08-30 08:41:13 · answer #7 · answered by Nefertiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How often have you seen each other in person? How can you be in AR and he is in FL and "live together"??? It is very hard to know the real person long distance. You may be in love with the person you THINK they are. I think 17 is a little young to get married. Most of the people I know that married that young are already on their 2nd marriage. IF you insist he is the one, opt for a LONG engagement.
If he is pre-med that probably means you will have to put off your education until he is done with his, which will take YEARS...think about that.
2006-08-30 08:44:47 · answer #8 · answered by Kristie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pump your brakes and pump them hard. Marriage can be wonderful but it is hard work. You need to enter into a marriage armed with some life experience and some wisdom. At 17 & 20, the chips are stacked against you. There is nothing wrong with the 2 of you dating but living together and combining finances is premature. Seven months is like seven minutes in the big scheme of things. When I met my ex husband, he was 16 and I was 19. We started dating when he was 17 and I was 20. We were in love and that was all that mattered. We made the mistake of thinking that love solved all problems and that love would conquer all. That's a fairytale. In real life, it takes love in combination with responsibility, understanding, forgiveness, patience, wisdom, compassion, honesty, etc. to keep a marriage alive and then it's still hard. You both need time to grow into the responsible adults that you will one day be. Take it from me, you need to wait. If it's truly love, it will still be years from now when both of you have matured and lived more. This "love of my life" label that you place on him is a fantasy notion. Be real with yourself and make an adult decision by giving yourself more time before making a decision that could alter the course of your life.
2006-08-30 08:49:44 · answer #9 · answered by intentionalmasterpiece 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NOT - not yet anyway - you're just too young honey. You have your whole life ahead of you. Maybe that's why your family is not too happy about it. Believe it or not, they DO want what's best for you.
I know others may bash me, but I say live together for a while and make sure this is what you want. Give it some time and say a year from now if you STILL feel like he's the "one" then go for it.
Just remember, this is not about making his family or your family happy. You've got to do what makes YOU happy - this is YOUR life honey...
Best of luck, Marilyn
2006-08-30 08:40:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋