I am on the last draw in my relationship. I have already told her that if she does not want to give me a little time on my own, then we are not meant to be together. She is still insisting on not spending time on our own because she does not think it will help. A little history of our relationship; going together for 1 year 8 months. i have got busted getting kissed (not kissing!!...!!) by another chick. But I have caught her texting another guy earlier in the relationship. So it is like a one one situation... I guess because of all the history she has turned from a cool girlfriend to a very possessive girlfriend. I can go out with my friends without us fighting for a week about it. We fight so much, I would say about 55% of the time is spent on bad terms. I know i still love her, we have spent a LOT of time with each other and know a lot about each other. I am wondering if this is the right thing to do. From what you heard, would it be better to go through with the break up or not?
2006-08-30 08:33:48 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Unfortunatly, she is probably not the girl for you. It sounds like it is time to break up. I know that it sucks and is hard, but jealousy in a relationship is never a good thing, well, at least not obsessive jealousy. Break up with her gently, and do not pull the bull crap thing about being friends. Make it a clean break.
2006-08-30 08:39:34 · answer #1 · answered by robyn 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok, listen, you already know what you need to do. No one deserves to be with someone who they are constantly fighting with. That includes her.
I went through this with someone I still love very much. A tiny part of me still secretly thinks we could be 'the one' for eachother--- but the rest of me has awakened to the harsh reality that some people, no matter how much they care about eachother are simply toxic. I didn't treat him right, and he didn't treat me right. Simple as that. Some people may tell you that this can change, but in my opinion, personally and professionally,(I'm a counselor now) it is rare that a couple can regain full respect after crossing the line.
It is a common misconception that love can conquer anything--- it can't. Love cannot conquer alchoholism, it cannot conquer eating disorders, it cannot conquer many things, and most of all ABUSE. You are both abusing the other, whether it is physical or not. You fight with eachother more than half of the time, according your words, and that is no way for a person to live. The longer someone lives that way the more warped their perceptions are becoming. You said yourself that she went from being an awesome girlfriend to being a posessive one, because of the relationship. You are right on--- people will change because of their environment. I'll take a guess too that you are not the type of person who fights this much either-- or you wouldn't be asking this question..... so you aren't being true to yourself either.
End this before you both change too much. It will be harder to have a healthy relationship after this if you let your brain become adjusted to being suspicious and angry--- it won't go away as easily as it set in!!!
You care about her, and you "know" her--- she's comfortable!! I don;t doubt that you love her.....
So, if you love her, let her go. She deserves a chance to better herself. So do you.....
Good luck.
Oh-- and expect the whole break-up thing to take a few times, and alot of effort.
Ending this will be like quitting an addiction-- trust me.
You can do this.
2006-08-30 08:55:09 · answer #2 · answered by smarty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems like it she doesn't want to give you space then you need to give her some space. Trust is a big issue with women in a relationship and once it is broken its hard to get it back with men and women. Love is also a funny thing because love will have a person thinking and seeing one thing when they should be doing something totally different. You two need a break from one another and if she is becoming possesive of you and your time then you definitely need to tell her that and tell her that you really need your space for a week or so. If you have in your heart to break up with her then you should follow your heart even if it hurts. I pray it all works out for you
2006-08-30 08:40:28 · answer #3 · answered by sharethalove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should try a trial separation, if after you have broken ties and done you own thing for a while you find that she is a constant on your mind then give it another try. however, there are some maturity issues as well as trust issues that will need to be worked out between the two of you if you are going to make things work in the future. for now, take a break and regroup.
2006-08-30 08:40:39 · answer #4 · answered by tgee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you spend most of your time fighting. I don't think that it's worth being together.
If you want to stay together, you need to sit down and have a really good talk. Set some boundaries. You should both be able to go out seperately with your friends without it turning into a huge fight.
2006-08-30 08:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe a trial seperation for 2 to 4 weeks and see how you feel then. Maybe it wasn't meant to be. But fighting all the time isn't going to end it will get worse if you get married.
I would cut the losses and start over with someone you enjoy being with and doing things together with no regrets.
2006-08-30 08:38:01 · answer #6 · answered by Carol 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok for one trust is a major part in a relationship.If you don't have trust you will never be happy. So you got caught kissing and she got caught texting big deal get over it and move on. If you feel like you can't trust each other it will only get worse. Everyone needs a little time by them self everyone needs space and everyone need a night out with their friends if she can' understand that something is definitely wrong. all goes back to trust TRUST TRUST
good luck and god bless do what's in your heart
2006-08-30 08:43:19 · answer #7 · answered by margaret 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is not trust then there can not be a relationship. Trust is a big part of any relationship. IIf you can't get back the trust then are you are doing is dragging on something that is never going to work anyway. You need to end this relationship. This will maybe hurt now but it will hurt more if you let this go on.
2006-08-30 08:41:53 · answer #8 · answered by pam b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your fighting all the time than it's probably not worth the headache and she obviously doesn't trust you. If you think she is Worth it, try couple counseling or talk to someone who you trust and is open minded. She doesn't sound like marriage material so don't waste your time. Trust is a big factor in a relationship and it sounds like she has issues.
2006-08-30 08:53:34 · answer #9 · answered by GIngin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not happy and most of your relationship has just been ou two fighting then whats the point really. I mean if you are unhappy chances are so is she. Talk to her about it let her know how you feel and if it ends up that you think you shouldnt be together, then you shouldnt be together. Good luck
2006-08-30 08:40:46 · answer #10 · answered by JOJO 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋