i'm kinda like the first answerer. My parents told me from the time I was a toddler that I was adopted. I have two wonderful parents and couldn't have asked for better. It was never a secret or something that really bothered me. Of course you sometimes wonder what your real parents were like or what the circumstances were that caused them to place you up for adoption and as you get older, you begin to wonder about your family medical history. However, other than that, I was never really concerned or caught up in the whole "why didn't they love me" thing. But, each person is different and it might bother some more than others. However, when the child realizes how the situation could have been, they are usually very glad their life turned out like it did.
If you would like to chat more, email me and let me know.
2006-08-30 08:41:13
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answer #1
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answered by wunluv06 3
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I was adopted at birth. My adoptive parents were always very open with the fact I was adopted so it's was't a huge family secret or anything,, but I never knew anything about my birth parents,, and I am 33 now and still don't even know my birth fathers name. I wish that my adoptive mom had been more open to me when I was a teen and wanted to know about my birth mom. She always said I wasn't old enough to understand. I now know my birth mom is my aunt so my situation is a little different. But just open to answer any question you can for her.
I think if you can get some basic information about the birth family, have it avilable to her later when she asks,, don't make her feel bad for asking,
When I was pregnant with my first child I wanted to know about my birth mom's medical stuff,, also on the medical side of it,, it's still strange sometimes when I go to a new dr and they ask about family history I can't answer alot of the questions.
I am sure you will be great adoptive parents and give her all the love and support she will need and that's what's most important.
2006-08-30 15:44:49
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answer #2
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answered by B V 5
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Hi, I don't know how old the baby is that you are adopting, but she must be under a yr or two. I was adopted myself and I can tell you this much....... get her record........ her entire file from the state that way you know what her heritage is and what to expect from health and other things. I wouldn't tell her about being adopted until she is older.......... OUT OF SCHOOL perferably........ a child goes through so much in there life and with her being so small, as far as she will be concerned you are mom and dad and she knows and will know no different, Its when a child knows that you have the problems and the questions and then they start feeling the feelings of not being loved no matter how much you love her. I would wait until she is out of school and maybe about 20yrs old or so when she can handle the information and she doesn't have to worry about being excepted by kids in school or feel like a regect in your family......... as long as she doesn't know, then she has the feeling of belonging somewhere, its when she does know that she feels lost and the need to run away and to hide. When she is older you can sit her down and tell her the truth, NOT telling is NOT lieing......... its info on a need to know basis. You want her to be able to understand and you want to be able to be ready for all of her questions.........but the main thing she needs to know and be able to understand is that she is loved, you are her family and parents and that she belonged as a child and she belongs as an adult. Then I would hand her the records that you recieved from the state with her original birth certificate, her parents and family background and health info ,and I would just love her and support her in all her questions and info findings. blessed be.........
2006-08-30 15:43:23
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answer #3
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answered by shy&gental 4
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I was adopted 22 years ago as a baby with nothing but medical information about my biological parents. I've always been told that I was adopted and it was never really an issue with anything in my life. I've always wondered about my biological mother but never really did anything about it. Recently I tried finding her with no result. As the adoptive parents you'll always have a concern that he or she will be curious about her biological parents but you have to realize that you are the people who are going to be raising her and YOU will be her parents, not matter what happens.
Somethings that I am lucky enough to know as the hobbies of what both parents did and what they both looked like. It's weird but it makes me feel close to the woman who gave me up. We have the exact same hobbies and interests. I know that this might sound difficult to come to terms with...but I assure you that I have no real feelings for my adoptive mother. Even so, I could not be closer to my adoptive mother (my REAL mother). and I feel that nothing but good things will come about your new child learning as much as they can about where their genes came from.
2006-08-30 15:38:08
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answer #4
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answered by njagalamalaya 5
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I was adopted as an infant and my parents told me when I was so young that I don't even remember being told! It was never a secret or something to be ashamed of. They are the best parents in the world, I could not have gotten luckier. That being said, I have never really wondered about my biological parents because nobody could ever compare to the parents who raised me! Hope this helps.
2006-08-30 15:36:47
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answer #5
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answered by Anonymous
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I was adpoted. I never thought about my bio family because I had the best mother and father in the world. My real father popped up on my door step when I was 16 and that was old enough to see why I was not with them any longer. I thanked my parents that day for taking good care of me and I am very happy with the outcome. There are alot of kids out there that deserve a loving family. As long as you provide that nothing else will matter to your baby.
2006-08-30 15:43:19
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answer #6
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answered by kikosgirl83 2
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I have often wondered who my biological parents were. When you fill out a medical history they ask questions about your parents. That is one of the draw backs. I have went to the public library in Minneapolis and researched all the newspapers for around my birth date. I didn't find much. My sister who was adopted did finally find out who her mother was, but I don't think the biological mother wanted to meet with her. I was born in Minneapolis, she was born in Fargo / Moorhead. We did find place of birth and I found out my name at the adoption home. I also found out my nationalities.
2006-08-30 15:45:50
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answer #7
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answered by Thomas S 6
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A child that is adopted will always wonder. Just be the best parents you can and know that God doesnt make any mistakes.
2006-08-30 15:40:20
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answer #8
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answered by smells 2
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I was not adopted but my parents were divorced and then my mother was murdered when I was 4 years old so I had to go live with my father and his wife..........I think the child will love you because you are her PARENT but they will ALWAYS want to know where they came from whether it be good or bad........My dad and step-mom kept me away from my mothers only sister and once I was married I looked for her myself.......It was my decision to make not theirs and I needed to know for myself how she was........my dad said she was crazy and he didn't want me around her but they never told me anything about my mother either and it really effected me to find out when I was 21........I relived the devestation all over again instead of them letting me know what was going on and let me grieve......I always knew my mom was murdered but I didn't know under what circumstances.......
and yes, she will always wonder about where she came from........just be honest with her and don't hide anything from her, and if she was taken away under certain circumstances tell her about as best as you can and be there to support her......she will always love you and respect you for that.
2006-08-30 15:43:28
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answer #9
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answered by Jen 3
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In the end, unfortunately, kids tend to find out as they grow older that they are adopted whether you tell them or not. Your concern is quite real. There are two ways you can go about it: 1) Dont tell the child and see where things lead and 2) Tell them and explain how things are, see if they have any questions.
2006-08-30 15:36:56
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answer #10
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answered by roxanachic20 2
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