How do I stop being so scared of dying?

Question

I am not dying or going to die (just yet) or anything but the thought terrifies me. What can I do to gain a calm acceptance of the inevitable?

Answer 1

It might not be "cool" to think about death, but it is realistic. It's no accident that the world's greatest literature and philosophy deal with the fact that some day our lives will come to an end. Death is inevitable, and to deny it or ignore it is tragic.

But when we know Christ, death no longer grips us with fear—and the reason is because Jesus Christ has conquered death! How did He do this? He did it first of all by dying on the cross to take away our sins. You see, death came into the world because we have rebelled against God—which is what the Bible calls sin.

But by His death and resurrection Christ broke the chains of sin and death. We don't need to fear death any longer, because Christ has overcome it! The Bible says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23).

I invite you to receive that gift right now by asking Christ to come into your life as your Lord and Savior. God loves you, and He does not want you to spend eternity separated from Him. Open your heart and life to Christ—and when you do, God will not only forgive your sins but He will adopt you into His family forever. Once you know Christ, you have "an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you" (1 Peter 1:4).

Answer 2

There are many good, strong resources available which can help you to think rationally and clearly about the process of dying.

The problem is, once the fear sets in, there is really little that one can do to remove it, because unlike a phobia of something irrational like the number 13, death is a 100% certainty.

I'm going to link you to some sites concerned with the fear of dying. I've chosen a rational psychology site as the primary basis for your quest, and the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, a Stoic philosopher as well as a great Emperor.

I'm also going to link you to a Buddhist website. Buddhism was founded on the basic premise that everything alive suffers and dies. If you want your help to have a Far Eastern flavour, this is the site from which to begin your journey.

These, hopefully, will provide you with the coping tools you will need in order for you to understand your fear, transcend it and resume function as a normal human being, without the fear shackling you.

And you're not alone. The fear of me dying often scares me spitless.

Answer 3

Nothing religious in this answer: Dying is just as natural as being born. You had nothing coming into this world and you will have nothing when you leave it. You are going to die, no if's or but's about it - there is nothing you can do about it. Death is a sexually transmitted disease and is fatal. So come on, stare death straight in the eyes and say 'I am not afraid' - I sure as hell (oops sorry) don't want to go and when I do I don't want a car or similar accident to be involved in the going. I am 65 and am having the greatest time of my life - so I do not want to go, but go I will, as sure as eggs is eggs. Have a little plan for when you go and leave a few surprises behind: for instance:........

The Vale of Clara.

Cast my dust to the four winds, beside a Wicklow Hill,
In a lonely vale, beside a stream where all around is still.
Where the silence is only broken, by some wild bird’s call,
Where small brown trout, play freely about, above the waterfall.

Beyond the bridge, a chapel stands, as white as snow can be,
There, light some penny candles, for past friends and for me.
Then say a prayer that I may rest, where peace will me enfold,
And ask my God, if he sees fit, to have mercy on my soul.

And in the distant future, my one and only wish,
Is that a great, great grandchild, shall wander there to fish.
And if by chance, a trout is caught, just gently set it free,
Then this sweet vale, will Heaven be, forever more to me.

-------------------

(Sorry Enigmagic, didn't mean to mention religion, but secretly, between you and me, I do believe in a life hereafter)............

Answer 4

What has helped me cope with that same fear is to know that it will happen fairly quickly. My fright has always been how I am to die rather than dieing itself. To cope with that, I made a promise to myself not put me into any situations that will cause me undesirable conditions. That's why I don't sky diving or take up race car careers. Just be cautious to what you do with yourself. You don't have to worry about feeling of being caged or something when you are in the death mode because your spirit can not feel, hear, see, or touch anything without a body. No there will be no physical pain. It will be very quickly that you'll wake into a new creation without out knowing how much time has past. Its very similar to going to bed at night and suddenly waking the next morning without being aware of the hours that had past during your sleep.

Answer 5

My precious precious father died suddenly and unexpectedly of a massive heart attack while we were visiting him. I have to say, in the midst of the terrible grief, I have a realization that death itself is not scary. It's so sad for us left behind. But death itself is so ..... natural.

Just before he died dad said to me, "whether you live 60 years or 100 years, it is way too short, and it's a twinkling in the vast expanse of time. all you have is your life. live it as deeply as you can, honoring your interests and talents, and loving your family.'

All of us must face this knowledge of our own deaths and the deaths of our loved ones. It's kind of a curse for humans, our large forebrain. I think the garden of eden story about the apple is about our becoming aware of our mortality and therefore, losing paradise.

We have no control over this and acceptance is vital if we're not to be neurotic. But acceptance is gradual. If you're thinking about it every day, and this is not just a new thing related to someone's death, then you might have gotten yourself into a problem.

You might be able to calm obsessive thoughts on your own - when you find yourself worrying about dying, tell yourself, and mean it, i have an appt. to discuss this with myself later. i'll think of it later. then, turn to another thought. but, do keep the appt with yourself. sit in a chair and do nothing for 1/2 hour but worry about dying. then, get up and go on your way. do this for a few days and it'll probably help.

Let's just say the inevitable should focus the mind - make sure you are on the path you are passionate about - live every single day like you mean it. My dad did - a life too short, but oh so well lived.

Answer 6

you know, i'm terribly scared of it, too.

however, some things that helped me were:
* the book "stiff: the curious lives of human cadavers". it might sound morbid, but it's about what happens to your body after you die, or what the living do with corpses of people who donated their body to science. it's interesting, funny and has a practical approach to death. i loved it. it made me less scared.
* the show "six feet under". not only because it deals with death; because it makes you appreciate life.
* the show "dead like me"... because it's a delightful fantasy.
* the realization that it's going to happen anyway ... so i might as well get the most out of life. i don't know what's going to happen next; i don't know what's going to happen after i die. i only know that i won't feel it ... it would be exactly how it was before i was born. and that's a difficult concept to accept. i can only hope that, by the time it happens, i will be old, accomplished and tired of life. i wish the same upon you.

good luck. i'm here if you need to talk. remember: the living can't really make much sense of death, and the dead could care less.

Answer 7

each night when you go to sleep can you be sure you'll wake ?

perhaps not but you accept that sleep is inevitable .

fear of dying should be about the effect your death will have on others because you will be asleep .

if this is your fear write a letter to everyone you love telling them what they mean to you and hide them under the carpet .
that way you know that whatever happens you've told them what you wanted to say .

Answer 8

Read the Tao Te Ching. That's a good start.

Basically, you have to learn how to truly live IN each moment, as opposed to worrying about the future and/or the past. It takes some practice. And it's not the standard way of thinking for most Westerners.

Answer 9

You just have to accept the fact that it's inevitable and focus on the life you have, not the life you'll be losing.

With that said, my only concern about dying is making sure that the people I leave behind are taken care of.

Answer 10

Learn to accept dying as a part of life. And enjoy your time being healthy, live life to the full.