Having problems meeting women.?

Question

I recently ish (almost a year ago) once and for all broke up with a long term girlfriend , on and off for 10 years we where togther... we kind of broke up two years ago, but then kept seeing each other.. it has been ov almost a year, and i know she slept with another guy or two since.. but I can not even talk to women at the moment, (in a social environment) and even when I try they seem to be reppelled by me i am now 28, and i have been with quite a few wmone, and NEVER had a problem meeting girls, even when i was with my ex, girls still showed an interest , and I went out with a 17 year old when i was 13, for two years... , and I have always been comfortable around women, and now I amscrewed.. perhaphs it is a confidence thing ? I d o not know.. my ex left me,.. on holiday might I add, because she wanted to be free to do what she wants (ie screw loads of men) which is fair enough, at least she was honest (inthe end) but i can not communicate, and the worse it gets the worse i

Hi... just a quick note...
I literally mean I cannot talk to women... so I am not trying to hard, as I am not trying at all, and I am not talking to women in bars, at the gym ... or anywhere... its just gone..

thanks for your replies...

oh and date you is that anoffer??? ( hmm its easier on the net huh)

no .. seriously though... I think my head is screwed up

Answer 1

Here are some dating sites for you:

http://www.dating-online.us/
http://www.datingsupercenter.com/...
http://www.dateandbeyond.com/
http://www.people-services.net/...
http://www.idatingonline.com/
http://www.mybestdate.co.uk/
http://www.123-online-dating.com/...
http://promotions.personals.yahoo.com/ge...
http://www.datingsoftware.org/
http://www.aewebworks.com/
http://www.cuteflame.com/
http://www.datingmadeeasy.info/...
http://www.date.com/?trackid=00000002471...
http://www.edatingcentral.com/
http://www.lavalife.com/guest/welcome.ac...

Answer 2

Well, I am very sorry to read this. Obviously, this is a difficult situation to deal with. I have never been in such situation but I can only guess. I suppose you simply find it really difficult to recover from the split with your girlfriend.
I personally find that when people are "not nice to me today", it always is because of my own attitude towards them. So if girls seem "reppelled" by you, maybe you are making this happen. Anyway, since the rest of the time you feel you cannot talk to them, well, that fits well together, doesn't it?
I suppose they are various things you could do, each of them very gently so that you do not stress yourself too much.
First is, well, accept that it is like this "now". Fine, you have had that "traumatic" experience and need some time to recover. That is really understandable! Stick to men in the pub -they are probably nice company too! And just take it as it comes. Don't force yourself into talking to that race that did that to you (I am one of them, they can be ok!).
Second, meet some people over the internet. Have some chats etc in a less threathening way.
Third, take a few sessions with a councellor, who may help you understand what it is exactely that provoked that in you. There must be a combination of things together. It would be like a big knot and you are trying to pull some strings out to understand how it works.
Well, that's all I can come up with. But the main thing is: trust that you'll find a way out of this. Just because that's what you want and you can do it. Good luck to you.

Answer 3

sounds like you have had quite a history with the ex. even if she hurt you and you think you should be over it by now, you could need some time to work through it properly.
what she did was cruel and she literally had you on a yo-yo of emotions. obviously you look back at the good times ,which can confuse a person when the bad times role in.
accept that it was her lifestyle choice ,and know that there are many women out there who would not work in the same way.
you are still young ,so it is not a bad thing to be unattached for a while--in fact many men probably envy you. even if you are a confident guy, and it seems you have been , a soured relationship definitely knocks you back. i believe that if you stop worrying about being with someone and loved your own life for a while , that love will find you ,again.

Answer 4

Flip its not easy but i'm good looking so i never have that problem haha only messin! basically for example go to boots or sports shop and by some products or ask for assistance and get chattin! even ask if the're goin out anywhere that nite and see what she says! then when she hands u your reciept u should ask for a pen and then write down your number and say 'look heres my number, text me sometime.' She will probably be embarrest and girls love guys that take the chance so you've instantly scored points! make her laugh or be cool! you'll know what to do when the time comes! its instinct !!! even if she has a guy you'll get a text and she will probably keep your number as well! there are a lot of nice single girls out there! don't always think the're wit someone else! don't ever think ' ooo she's beautiful, i could never pull her.' cause u know what that girl is probably thinkin 'WOW he's lovely!!' oh one more point!! - ALTHOUGH BREAKDANCING LOOKS COOL AND U GET A LAUGH ALONG WITH IT, NEVER DO IT INFRONT OF A GIRL THAT YOUR TRYING TO IMPRESS!!! 2 in 10 will laugh and like ya for it! bad odds mate! Good luck! NOW GET SOWING SOME SEEDS!!!! HAHA

Answer 5

Hey,

I've been in exasctly the same position as you and have recently come out the other side. It took me almost 2 years, which I'm sure is not what you want to hear, but I didn't help myself as I stayed hung up on my ex for so long! In the end what got me through it was meeting him and talking to him. He told me he still cared for me, which I think was what was making it hard for me to move on as I kinda knew that all along.
I then told him that if he still cared we could give it another go but it had to be on my terms. He told me he couldn't commit to those terms and so we parted.
I know it sounds odd but that was the closure I needed. I realised he wasn't the god I was making him out to be in my head and that actually I could do a lot better than him. I subsequently relaxed, enjoyed myself, started 'loving myself' and now have several guys asking me for a date! I'm happier than I ever was when I was with him and I'm in control!

You just need to do whatever it takes to get that closure then focus on yourself, do whatever makes you feel good whether that's taking a holiday, reading books, shopping anything!

Most importantly don't try to force yourself out of it, the more you think about it the worse it gets!

Answer 6

You poor thing .I feel quite sorry for you as ten years is a long time to be tuned into somebody ! I am talking out of experience !
You have to put this affair down to experience we all need that otherwise we don't learn.
Have an open mind and don't try to hard ,start just by saying Hallo to a girl if you see her somewhere regularly ( gym, work,pub etc.) then slowly " how are you " and so on just cool it and don't put yourself under a n y pressure ! You sound a really nice guy and you will be ok. stay as you are and your confidence
will return !
Good luck ! xxxx

Answer 7

sweetie ignore floxy, don't know what her problem is!

meet a few girls over the internet, do some Instant messaging, then move onto webcam, with a microphone, then arrange a meeting irl
only take the next step when you're completly comfortable with what your doing at the time, some things need to be taken slowly, like it or not, nothing you can do about it.

it's obvious to me that in your subconscience mind you're afraid of being hurt again, so sabotaging the chat ups so you don't have to deal with the relationship and the possible betrayel of trust, accept this and do the above and talking to us gals should become easier.

Answer 8

Try this....sounds wierd but it works. Get a date with a girl you never thought you'd date. Get to know someone that just doesn't have that first "wow" impression and give her a chance to get to know you. Maybe what attracts you to a girl is not what can make a relationship last and you have been doing it wrong all these years. Us men tend to be shallow and put too much emphasis on looks and forget about what we need emotionally. I'm not saying pick someone who turns you totally off, but maybe what you would consider an "average girl" and give it a go. You might learn something about yourself.

Answer 9

Hi.
I agree with grovette22 on this one- you've analysed your way into a confidence crisis.
Time to go back to square one, my friend.
Write down what your looking for in a future partner.
Write down what your good and bad points are.
Work on eliminating the bad points,stat!
Don't make a frantic effort to meet someone- it smacks of desperation and women pick it up in body language.
Just get on with living in a serene,cool,'know where you're at' sort of attitude and the right person will pick up the vibe.
It may take a while,but you can enjoy living in the meantime.
All the best to you and whoever she turns out to be,
Misterviv

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear all that!

It's hard because you want an instant "fix." Don't worry, someone will come along. You just have to put yourself out there. Avoid the bar scene for meeting women, though. Go to average everyday places and see who you can find. Examples: grocery store, library, gym, etc, etc...
Good luck. I know it's hard. Just try and be patient! Haha! Easier said than done, I know!

Answer 11

if you have relationship issues i can recommend two things
1)a book called the game by neil strauss
it shows you how to become a super pickup artist
totally un pc and a good read
i have recomended this to some of the women i know at work,
2)in london there is a brilliant free seminar called create the life you deserve and you can learn how to improve your relationships
you can get free tickets here
,http://www.createthelifeyoudeserve.co.uk/105